Burdened by helplessness, hopelessness and defilement, scores of #MeToo sufferers exposed offenders who destroyed their lives. Their efforts were aimed at restoring their self-worth and protecting others. But they were hit with the ultimate wallop…… an offender who manipulates the justice system to drown them in a whirlpool of defamation and cyber-stalking charges, destroying the little bit of equilibrium they have left. Continue reading How to Prevent Your #MeToo Truth from Drowning You
He was the man of her dreams…. a tall, dark, outrageously handsome, charismatic, intelligent nightmare!
Back in the early 1970’s, there was no literature or common knowledge about covert psychopaths. No one warned that sexual predators would and could underhandedly con you without giving off the slightest glimmer of suspicion.
The fact that they have no conscience or remorse and can rip your heart and your life to shreds without batting an eye was virtually unheard of.
Earlier than the internet, and prior to Catfish becoming the popular name for romance scammers, romantic deception was virtually unknown. And the possibility of “rape by fraud” was never discussed.
Before #MeToo and #TimesUp placed sexual assault at the forefront of media, this book opened the conversation about the actual meaning of consent. Its connection to the power brokers behind Elvis Presley is shocking.
If this unscrupulous crime happened to you, Carnal Abuse by Deceit will help you find the words to reclaim your power! It will help you rebuff all the nay-sayers that try to invalidate, trivialize, and shame you for being victimized by a defiling crime they simply don’t understand or acknowledge……. until it happens to them.
Carnal Abuse by Deceit is available in Paperback or Kindle and all E-Formats
Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault launched on Amazon today! It’s ranked #1 in New Releases – Law Dictionaries and Terminology!
Knowing what I do about sexual assault, that our laws really don’t define “consent” correctly, it pains me to see all the misguided efforts by intelligent, serious minded people who try to come to grips with the rampant volume of sexual assault. There really is one, and only one, necessary solution…. correctly defining consent in our laws, and creating a fully encompassing sexual assault provision to sync with that definition.
Without taking this critical step, sexual assault will never be defeated! Instead, we’re simply sticking a band aid over an amputation. #MeToo has highlighted the problem but too many sexual assaults are falling through the cracks in legal loopholes or being termed “confusion” or “bad sex,” by an unknowing society.
How terrible are our current laws?
My ConsentAwareness.Net friends who are fighting to change the laws in Texas know only too well how absurd the current laws are in their state. They’ve been to five precincts in the last couple of weeks. Even though Texas has a reasonably clear definition, it is only used to thwart thieves, not rapists. In fact, in the specific words of a precinct Sergeant in Ft. Worth…. “Sexual assault is not defined by consent in Texas.” If you think your state is better at recognizing sexual assault, think again!
Curbing crime takes both definitions and provisions
To fight sexual assault, we need new language that identifies what consent actually means…… “Freely Given, Knowledgeable, and Informed Agreement.” And each state or territory needs a statute that unequivocally states, “Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault.”
Penal Code definitions AND provisions need to work in unison in order to make sense. Having one without the other is an ineffective non-starter.
The solution’s not rocket science. It’s plain and simple. It’s been ignored for centuries because our laws reflected the concepts that women, the largest share of sexual assault victims, were chattel. Their virtue was a commodity owned by someone other than them. What happened to them, as second class citizens, was irrelevant. Because few actually examined our laws and researched the misconceptions that enables rape in our present society, nothing substantive has been done about it.
I’ve researched our laws….It’s time for a change!
Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault conveys the issues in plain language. Whether you’re a legislator, an educator, a judge, juror, or simply a concerned person, you can easily understand the message it conveys. This book can make a world of difference, and YOU can help make that happen!
Thank you!
On November 14th, I stood on the steps of the NJ statehouse talking with the head prosecutors from two NJ counties, Sussex and Burlington. I was astonished by their ignorance of their own laws.
Rich Pompellio, the chief catalyst for the Victims’ Rights Amendment of the NJ Constitution was being honored on the Continue reading Dumb and Dumber in Suits! Two NJ Prosecutors!
Brock Turner’s victim hit on an exceptionally descriptive term to explain how rape made her feel. Even though she was unconscious during the entire episode, she expressed, in her stirring statement, that she felt “contaminated.” Continue reading Contamination – What an apt description for sexual assault!
Cited as “Draconian but necessary,” a Sexual Harm Prevention Order (SHPO) was recently issued against 44 year old UK electrician, Geoffrey Ball. Ball had been found guilty of sexual offenses toward women and is no longer allowed to have a relationship of any sort with a woman, without express permission by the police.
Such orders should be available to US authorities in order to prevent Continue reading UK’s Extreme Solution to Combat Sex Crimes
Tomorrow is Truth in Romance Day! And this is our final installment of the Dust-Off Plan for Recovery from a Romance Scam. This last crucial step should have you well on your way to reclaiming your self-esteem and dignity. We’ll end with the letters “F & F.”
Continue reading Dust-Off! Steps 6 & 7- How to Heal From a Romance Scam
On Sunday, November 15th, the Speaker of the Assembly in Arunachal Pradesh, India, Nabam Rebia, was charged with physical and mental assault, based on his “false promise to marry” by his live-in girlfriend of four years. A First Information Report, (FIR,) which enables the police to arrest without warrant, was drawn up based on her complaints. FIRs are Continue reading New Sexual Assault by Fraud Case in India
Gayle Newland, convicted of rape by deception in Canberra, Australia, was sentenced to 8 years in prison yesterday. The Judge, Roger Dutton, grossly overstepped the bounds of rational judgement to impose harsh retaliation, not justice. Newland is a lesbian. Dutton’s sentence is more severe than those he leveled on pedophiles. Continue reading What’s appropriate sentencing for rape by deception? Not the Gayle Newland case!
I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me “Rape by Fraud isn’t Real Rape!”
Back in 1982, Susan Estrich,
launched her account of rape by fraud. Guess what the name of her book is…… Real Rape.
Susan Estrich is my hero! Without her brave attempt at setting Continue reading Overt vs. Covert Rape- What’s the difference?
California still uses the word “rape” in its penal code.
It has laws that outlaw some, but not all types of rape by fraud! It’s a start! The laws passed in 2013. The case that inspired the change was People v Morales.
According to the case records, Julio Morales snuck into bed with a sleeping victim while her bedroom was dark. Morales’s account indicates that he changed her Continue reading California- The Land of In-Between
Here’s a clever video that simplifies sexual “consent”. It gets the point across that if you ask someone if they want tea, you shouldn’t force them to take it, and includes a variety of very plausible scenarios.
Unfortunately, it also contains some gratuitous strong language, but hey, after all, it’s about sex. Presumably, we’re all adults.
The one thing I’d add… Continue reading What’s Tea Have to Do With Sexual Assault?
The neuropeptide, oxytocin, has been linked to many beneficial characteristics and behaviors in both humans and other mammals. Considered the “Love Molecule” by Dr. Paul Zak in his groundbreaking book, The Moral Molecule, How Trust Works, it has become a hot topic, drawing funds for in-depth analysis by scientific researchers.
Melissa Brown reported the following for The Independent Florida Alligator:
Nay-Sayers are not the only voices!
We’ve heard all the nay-saying silliness that folks who oppose “Sexual Assault by Fraud” laws come up with. And we’ve seen the ridiculous scenarios that the media creates in order to sensationalize, by stoking the fire of opposition….. Continue reading The Voice of Supporters- Stop Sex By Fraud!
How many love-bombed victims of toxic romance have heard this type of endearing commitment from a sociopathic lover?
“You’re so beautiful,” and “I’ll love you forever,” are more of the same. When it comes out of the mouth of a man pledging undying love while his wife of sixteen years waits for him in a far away place, Continue reading I would swim across the ocean to be with you!
“Ya think?” is how many folks react when they hear the lame excuse for why people lie to have sex with them. Here’s what that comment really means…..
“I knew if I pretended to be something I wasn’t, you’d have sex with me,” and conversely, “I knew if I told you the truth Continue reading “I Thought I’d Lose You!”
There are loads of good people in the world who wouldn’t hurt a flea. And there are folks who are obvious villains. But scam artists are pretty difficult to spot in order to tell the difference between the two.
They look and sound like caring human beings, but they’re not. Someone who lies to you, in order to seduce you, has little or no emotional empathy. Continue reading The Good, the Bad, and the Scammers
Lack of emotional empathy = shallow, superficial emotions
Sociopaths weave beautifully seductive tales.
Problem is, they don’t mean it the way you absorb it. When they embrace you and speak endearingly of “forever,” they’re only thinking of the immediate gratification they’ll receive today. They want the adoration and sexual surrender you reserve for those you deeply love, and they will get it no matter what it costs you in emotional upheaval. Continue reading CAD Tale- Suki’s Story
Every person’s brain chemistry is different.
It’s one of the many reasons why we’re as unalike as snowflakes in the wide expanse of humanity. Our DNA, brain chemistry, and the impacts of early childhood development, Continue reading Not Just Warm Flesh and Body Fluids
How can anyone expect to know the truth when the lies are so ordinary?
A fifty five year old widower meets an attractive New Jersey woman on OKCupid. His wife of thirty years died of an illness and after five years of grieving, and occasional dates, he’s ready to get on with his life. She was his greatest love. They were unable to have children.
He’s a college grad with a steady job, nothing flamboyant or unusual. A family man, his aging mother lives with him in the home he owns.
He notices a single woman with long dark hair and a pretty smile on the e-dating site. She’s financially self-sufficient, also a home owner, with several entrepreneurial interests and teaches music lessons. She’s had relationships with men, and a marriage that ended in divorce.
So who’s defrauding who? Both stories are perfectly plausible, but only one is telling the truth….
The man is a life-long bachelor who strings multiple women along at a time. He’s never been married and lives in his mother’s home. And oh, that college degree, it never happened.
They dated, “monogamously” for several months. When he took a week off from his job without any explanation, our heroine caught onto his penchant for simultaneously juggling multiple “relationships.”
Should she have known?
We’re often told that victims “should know”… Something should seem “off,” or that their personal vulnerabilities made them targets.
Often therapists provide months and months of therapy to unravel the mystery of why someone “chose” to become a victim, as if they fooled themselves instead of getting punked by a despicable liar who targeted and caught them in a web of deceit.
And is it a crime?
The woman had no expectations other than finding a loving person with whom she could share time and experiences. And from wanting to be loved, she became defiled.
The more mundane the lies, the more sinister the erosion of trust for the victim, because they can’t point to anything that could have signaled reality. The violation they feel can have a long reaching affect on the rest of their lives.
While the offender skips along to some new unsuspecting victim, the current one is left with heartache, a pervasive sense of deep-rooted defilement, and life-long trust issues.
Where is justice for these victims?
Hopefully, it lies in New Jersey’s legislation #3908. If you have yet to sign the change.org petition to support this law, please do so today!
Mischele Lewis, who suffered sexual assault by fraud at the hands of William Allen Jordan, (the story that caught the interest of Assemblyman Troy Singleton, and began his journey to introduce legislation,) is far from New Jersey’s only victim of this insidious crime. This law is for all victims. If you’ve suffered SexFraud in NJ, or anywhere for that matter, please let me know. We need examples of this crime for legislative hearings in the Assembly and the Senate.
Facebook Response
Thought you might like to see how some folks respond to this defiling crime. This comment was posted on my Facebook page:
 |
|
|||
| I don’t get the story. I was waiting for something more sinister and climactic, like emptying out her bank account or something along those lines. Dating a lying loser is unfortunate but you cannot lock up people for things like that. Life doesn’t come with a warning label. | ||||
I found it ironic that Mr. Masi could relate to the theft of the victim’ money, as if that were a major breach, but not the defilement of her sexual sanctity. I responded that some people think sex is nothing more than warm flesh and body fluids. They don’t grasp that a person’s sexual organs are a gateway to their soul. He’s far from alone in his beliefs.