On June 19th, just short of a month after my TEDx Talk at TEDxYouth@UrsulineAcademy, a sexual assault victim filed civil charges that underscore why Delaware needs to define consent in their laws. The victim alleges that Psychotherapist Sachin J. Karnik deceived her into sexual conduct. Continue reading Delaware Fails to Prosecute Alleged Sex Offender
A handcuffed Harvey Weinstein made his way into court today in lower Manhattan charged with rape and a criminal sex act. Whether he gets locked away or not will depend largely on whether Cy Vance, the Manhattan District Attorney, makes the case for applying the Continue reading Harvey Weinstein clearly lacked “consent!”
Who’s laughing now!!!
For Cosby’s countless victims, and I say “countless” because I’m sure there were far more who didn’t reveal their personal stories for a myriad of reasons, recovery just took a giant step forward!
Defilement makes you feel dirty all the way to the core of your being. Our reproductive organs are a primal part of our very existence. For sexual predators, that connection to our inner self is incidental to their interest in playing out their deviant sex acts on our bodies.
Defilement makes the victim feel violated, isolated and invisible. Validation makes us feel accepted once again. Justice provides that validation. Every victim of defilement deserves justice, no matter what device or manipulation was used to violate them, whether by force, duress, or deception.
Hopefully, Cosby’s conviction will serve as an awakening to law enforcement that “acquaintance rapes,” which they’ve long turned a deaf ear to, are every bit as devastating to the victim as being raped by a stranger. In fact, the reality that someone you trust can be so utterly cruel adds an entire dimension to your pain.
Far from an isolated incident
Two weeks ago, I testified to a joint committee of NYC’s City Council who were addressing the New York Police Dept. (NYPD,) over their systemic lack of responsiveness to acquaintance rapes. Councilman Donovan Richards, Chairman of the Public Safety Committee said,
“It’s no wonder that victims don’t report more often. And it seems that NYPD is just fine with victims of sex crimes being ignored.”
The stories told by victims were inspiring, but only two lower level police employees remained to hear them. ALL the top brass, including Chief Monahan, had left the building. “Seriously??” C’mon!!
So what’s next for Cosby?
Certainly not a comeback for his comedy career, unless it’s entertaining other inmates!
Prosecutor Kevin Steele asked Judge Steven O’Neill to revoke the million dollar bail that keeps Cosby free. But Judge O’Neill sent him home under house arrest to his Cheltenham, PA, sprawling estate. The maximum penalty for his offenses is 30 years behind bars, but his attorney, Tom Mesereau has pledged to file an appeal.
DA Steele laid legal groundwork to admit the testimony of additional victims, beyond Andrea Constand, who Cosby assaulted. Although Steele had asked for nineteen victims, O’Neill agreed to five. Mesereau will likely say their testimony was prejudicial. Steele will respond that the state has the right to establish a pattern of conduct when similar methods of operation exist. Using the DOCTRINE OF CHANCES, is allowed in evidence. It’s role is to demonstrate that the accused is unlikely to be innocent when their criminal behavior is consistent time and time again.
Another issue the defense is likely to raise is that the judge’s wife is an advocate for sexual assault victims at the University of Pennsylvania. Having a spouse with a view consistent with the findings of the court; however, does not automatically rule out the judge.
Their may be additional rulings made by the judge that the defense will seize on.
Absurdities in this case
I find it astonishing that Cosby insisted he had the consent of a gay woman. How on earth did he possibly feel anyone could believe she willingly agreed?
In his civil deposition, he admitted he didn’t know if he had Constand’s consent. Pennsylvania’s legislators need to seriously address the fact that its penal code fails to clearly define what consent is….. Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement! #FGKIA. This fact is what made it impossible to lock up Cosby the first time around, and it was necessary to torment additional accusers by subjecting them to “slut shaming” in order to get Cosby put away.
Sentencing must take place within ninety days. Because he’s legally blind, and an advanced age, options for incarceration could include a minimum security prison or even an institution for assisted living.
Cosby claimed he’s not a flight risk because he doesn’t own a private plane…. as if he doesn’t have the money to purchase that service. While the saga for Cosby is ongoing, at least the victims have the satisfaction that their tireless, painful efforts were finally rewarded and that they’ve inspired drastically needed change!
I’m often asked why having the ability to seek justice is so important for victims of sexual fraud. I’ve seen that the pursuit of justice, regardless of the outcome, can bring a sense of closure and empowerment that turns victims into survivors. Continue reading Finding Closure After Exploitation- Lauren’s Story- Part 1
Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward, was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing! Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!
I truly hate being an “I told you so,” And nothing could make me dislike this role more than knowing that 156 unfortunate girls suffered a horribly defiling crime – one that I’ve been jumping up and down to stop for the past 5+ years!
Yesterday, Dr. Lawrence Nassar, former USA Gymnastics team doctor, was sentenced to a 175 year prison term after 156 of his sexual assault victims stepped forward. He’d molested them by using Continue reading Olympic Doc shines glaring light on #SexualAssaultByFraud!
Colorado revised their statutes on sex crimes in 2016. In doing so, they recognized certain, but not all, rape by fraud crimes.
Their laws make a critical distinction between sex crimes with or without penetration. The former is “sexual assault.” The later is “sexual contact.” The degree of the crime determines the ultimate Continue reading Colorado’s Rape Laws- Updated, but antiquated!
This story seems so familiar to many of us in the US. Yet NOTHING happens to put creeps like this guy behind bars here!
It’s not as if the victim was violently raped…. she wasn’t. But she was dealt the crushing blow of being defrauded of sex.
The victim’s father had posted her profile on a matrimonial site. Allegedly, Sameer Anwar Khan responded, claiming to be a police officer and a suitable suitor for his daughter. He actually pretended to marry this 22 year old woman by creating faked documents! Nothing he said or did was the truth.
This predator will not be dealt with as if he committed a violent rape. But he will be dealt with for the lesser charge of rape by fraud. He will do time for his misdeeds and be fined. And that’s how rape by fraud should be treated around the world!
YOU can make that happen, and prevent sexual assaults of all types while you’re at it! Pick up the phone! Call your legislator! Insist that they sign this language into law today…..
“Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault!”
“Consent is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement!”
Don’t just “like” this message. Pick up the phone! Make it happen!
We CAN combat all kinds of sexual assaults, today!
When the cause of pain is a sex crime, victims are frequently invalidated by people they count on for support! Reaching out for help can make the victim feel like they’re choking on the turmoil they lived through! Having to justify painful feelings while being discredited heaps pain on top of pain and can cause deep depression! When the weapon that undermined their sexual consent was fraud, invalidation by family and friends is all too typical and common.
A woman I’ll call Laurie contacted me recently for help. She’d been violated by a sexual sadist who got off on hurting her during sex. He’d built up her image of a lasting, loving Continue reading Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale
CONSENT could be the most misunderstood word in the English language!
Millions of people are harmed by rape every year. And some offenders do not comprehend why or how their behavior constitutes RAPE.
Let’s get it right!
MO SVU Prosecutor Jill Icenhower was very specific about why she wasn’t bringing 2nd Degree Rape charges against Mario Antoine, the man who the Federal Prosecutor called a “Serial Rapist,” for the Continue reading Is the “Ice Princess” ignoring a rape case with 30+ victims?
Watch Joyce’s interview with Diana Montford, the world’s first transgender television journalist, about Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!
Pre-register for your copy on this link.
In Kansas City MO, thirty-three year old Mario Antoine is facing 21 federal charges, from cyber-stalking to extortion, for scamming women into sex on the premise that he was a porn videographer and they were auditioning for a part. The FBI handled the investigation, and the Federal Prosecutor was quoted by the Kansas City Star as saying he’s a “serial rapist.” But rape is a state, not a federal crime. Continue reading How to get away with rape in Missouri! The Mario Antoine case
Federal Prosecutors described alleged sex scammer, Mario Ambrose Antoine as a “serial rapist” and put a current case of Rape by Fraud center stage in main stream media! The case was filed with 6 complainants but 25 additional woman have stepped forward since the Kansas City Star went public with the information on Monday. If you were harmed by this man, contact the Kansas City MO office of the FBI at 816-512-8200.
Here’s the latest article which Continue reading Sex Scammer Faces Fed Prison
Reported by Ron Blitzer at DailyNewz, Eric Schneiderman, Attorney General of New York State had this to say about Trump University……
“It’s fraud. This is straight up fraud! It’s like selling people something you say is a Mercedes and it turns out to be a Volkswagen. And even Continue reading What do Trump U and Lying to Get Laid have in Common?
If a romance scam happened to you in NY, please contact me!
Law & Order SVU did a great job of presenting a rape by fraud case this past Wednesday. If you’ve yet to see the episode, here’s the link. You can watch it right here on your computer!
Enough for fiction…. We need real life cases to enact a law! And I believe we can create a solid movement to get it done in New York!
Don’t be shy folks! Send me your story! I’m listening!
Write to me at StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com
Nothing compares to the terror of violent rape. But victims of rape by fraud suffer debilitating loss of self esteem, problems with trust, fear and humiliation. This crime should not go unpunished or unrecognized! Here are my recommendations for penalty:
SEXUAL ASSAULT BY FRAUD
Class E Felony punishable by 0-4 years of incarceration. The minimum sentence should be as follows:
FIRST OFFENSE (Only)
Sex Offender List: Two Years
Society needs protection from the exploits of the offender. The victim has been sexually assaulted and their psyche will undergo considerable turmoil to recover their dignity and self esteem. A reasonable amount of time in therapy will be two years. The offender should be cognizant of the harm they created for that same period and suffer a loss of face for the period. Therefore, they should be required to register as a sex offender for two years.
- Therapy: The cost for therapy should be borne by the offender for the two year period. A reasonable expense for that therapy would be $20,000.00; therefore, they should pay a fine in the amount of the therapy the victim needs.
- Education: No one can teach another human being to have emotional empathy. It is a condition, and either you have it or you don’t. However, enlightening the offender regarding the laws of “consent” and misuse of the “laws of attraction” will enable them to grasp how they should conduct themselves in the future. The offender should bare the cost of education in the amount of $5,000.
The offender committed a crime, and all crimes are not only committed against the victim, but also, against the state. For the two year period, they should be required to conduct strenuous community service.
Child Support and Custody
No victim of sexual assault by fraud should ever be forced to conduct ongoing contact with their rapist. All cases in which a pregnancy resulted from sexual assault by fraud should require appropriate financial child support by the offender. Full custody should be awarded to the victim and the offender should be granted limited and tightly supervised visitation.
Two to five years of incarceration. Appropriate fines, education and Sex Offender Registry.
- All repeat offenses should be treated as “aggravated.”
- All cases in which the offender committed additional crimes against the victim such as grand theft, credit card fraud, theft by fraud or immigration fraud should be treated as “aggravated.”
You can make a huge difference in the battle to combat romance scams!
- Register today to participate in the launch of Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! which is coming on or about November 1.
- You may win a FREE Kindle Fire by being one of its first readers and providing one of its first 20 reviews on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Goodreads.
- Take the language for the Sexual Assault by Fraud or False Pretense Law, and the book, to your local legislators.
- Demand that they enact the law to make a difference in the lives of countless victims!
Addendum: For anyone who missed the airing on Wednesday, here’s the link!
I almost fell off my chair!
After advocating for almost four years to bring sexual assault by fraud out of the darkness…. there’s a prime time light at the end of that cavernous and lonely tunnel!
I was home relaxing and watching tv. Vice President Biden appeared on this week’s Law & Order and the episode was compelling, but it’s what came afterward that was such a shock! The trailer announced that next week’s episode will address, “If someone lies to have sex Continue reading Rape by Fraud Goes Prime Time! Law & Order
Brock Turner’s victim hit on an exceptionally descriptive term to explain how rape made her feel. Even though she was unconscious during the entire episode, she expressed, in her stirring statement, that she felt “contaminated.” Continue reading Contamination – What an apt description for sexual assault!
Read Neil McArthur’s insightful article on Sexual Assault by Fraud!
Be sure to enter the conversation!
Here’s the link: http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/is-lying-to-get-laid-a-form-of-sexual-assault