Tag Archives: #fraud

Manafort & Fraud- But still no Rape by Fraud in NYC

Paul Manafort- Convicted Felon

In addition to prior convictions, Paul Manafort will be tried for fraud in New York City. We see clearly that lying to take your money is a crime. But lying to induce sex is not? On what planet?

When an offender lies to secure mortgage money in NY City, all hell breaks loose. But if that same offender lies to get laid, defiling your body and causing you extreme depression, loss of self worth, and trust issues for the rest of your life, that’s no big deal?? Continue reading Manafort & Fraud- But still no Rape by Fraud in NYC

Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!

Is #DonaldWard guilty of #RapeByFraud? DonaldWard, Donald Ward Case

Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward,  was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing!  Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!

Oregon- Will Rape by Fraud be Prosecuted there?

Mt Hood overlooking Portland Oregon
Mt Hood overlooking Portland Oregon

Oregon is noted for its vastly diverse and stunning landscapes. And if anyone has a case of rape by fraud, it might also become known as the state that upheld honesty in sexual relations!  Continue reading Oregon- Will Rape by Fraud be Prosecuted there?

Victim Blaming- A skewed and cynical view of the world!

caveman2

Received this tweet today from  a listener from yesterday’s CBC Broadcast on Sexual Assault by Fraud……

@jm_short it’s up to us, all people, to find out who a person is before we have sex with them. people need to stop being cavalier about sex.

 

I’ll call her MindyLimoDriver

bucketMindy’s mentality shows misplaced responsibility. I simply answered “Ignorance is bliss, stay happy!” because the correct response would not fit in a tweet. And if it were an isolated incident, I’d let it go…… but it’s a very common misconception. She’s the drop that overflowed the bucket of my tolerance.

Obviously “all people” have a responsibility to behave as a “reasonable” person would do. In fact, those specific words come right out of the penal code of New Jersey. But some sexual predators are so ruthless that they can’t be spotted by any “reasonable” means. And the law on sexual assault by fraud or Continue reading Victim Blaming- A skewed and cynical view of the world!

Alleged Catfish Arrested Today in New Jersey- Haissam Fostok

Haissam Fostok arrested for Catfish heist, March 23, 2016 in Passaic NJ
Haissam Fostok arrested for Catfish heist, March 23, 2016 in Passaic NJ

Forty-five year old Haissam Fostok turned himself over to the police in Passaic County New Jersey  today for crimes committed by catfishing a New Jersey victim.  He was charged with 2nd Degree Theft by Deception, 3rd Degree Theft by Deception (for credit card Continue reading Alleged Catfish Arrested Today in New Jersey- Haissam Fostok

The Tsunami of Invalidation- Recovering Trust

Victims of sexual assault by fraud often think all is lost and they’ll never be able to trust again. Not only were they harmed by a scammer, but the emotional supports they counted on caused them further pain.

Tsunami’s are most often created by sudden movements on the ocean’s floor such as earthquakes or mudslides. They’re the backlash of displacement. This natural event mirrors the seismic wave Continue reading The Tsunami of Invalidation- Recovering Trust

Are you a NY Senior who’s been Catfished?

#selfhelp for relationships with a sociopath

Tomorrow is an important day for CATFISH PROFILE SURVIVORS in NY!

The NY State Assembly Standing Committee on Consumer Affairs and Protection, along with the Assembly Standing Committee on Aging and the Subcommittee on Consumer Fraud Protection, are holding a public hearing on scams against seniors.

You don’t have to guess twice about what I’ll be addressing!  Continue reading Are you a NY Senior who’s been Catfished?

Classic Example of SexFraud Mentality

shamed woman

I received this comment last night from a person who refers to himself as “Boozer.” I thought it so important that it warranted an actual post.

It demonstrates exactly how and why the crime of SexFraud takes place:

First of all, of course we know we’re having sex with a person. Men are not a bunch of creepy soulless monsters. We’re actual people as well with real feelings Guys get used and summarily dumped too. I’ve had women (only a few, lol) that never got back to me after we had sex. Did I feel bad? Of course, but I never thought they belonged in jail for it, because they don’t.

The word “entitled” is tricky. I don’t think a woman in a bar is entitled to my finances, my workplace or even my last name if I don’t want to give it out. It’s none of her business. I’m not going to share my private info with every girl I talk to on the chance we might leave the bar together later. She’s not entitled to anything of mine and if that’s a problem then she’s entitled to say goodnight anytime she pleases. If I exaggerate or put the best spin on things, she can accept that or not, it’s her choice. I’m not promising her anything except hopefully a good time. It’s 2015, if by now you’re not aware people might lie to you, you shouldn’t be out walking the streets.

Fraud in the legal sense means misrepresenting something to get money or something of value. What of actual value is given or taken during sex? Realistically the thing of most value in the situation is the man’s sperm.

And here is my response to him:

Boozer-

SexFraud isn’t about getting dumped or not calling you back after sex. I have never said that you should divulge every facet of your background when you first meet someone, but before you have sex with them, you should straighten out any lies you’ve told them.

Frankly, you have demonstrated exactly the type of mentality that’s at the heart of the problem and I thank you for being so candid. I think you exemplify a mindset that is pervasive in today’s society, and you don’t even recognize it as a “sexual assault” mentality. It starts by thinking that sex is simply a type of entertainment and an entitlement, not a privilege.

Apparently, your finances are even more “private” to you than your sex organs. You’ll expose them to someone who you barely know. But don’t worry, SexFraud laws won’t prosecute the casual hook-up in which the victim failed to behave reasonably and jumped into bed with you without any inquiry or research.

Some women feel that way as well. For instance, sex workers share their bodies with people all the time with no emotional connection to their private parts. Or so they think until they’re ripped off, like the recent case in Canberra Australia where the offender was convicted of rape by fraud by tricking her into thinking she would get paid. He gave her a bag that was supposed to contain money. It didn’t.

Just because you don’t value intimacy does not mean that other people don’t. In fact, most of moral society would more happily get ripped off for money than have their sex organs violated. One makes you angry. The other makes you defiled.

Fraud is usurping something of value through a lie. Most people actually value their sexual organs and their right to self-determination over who they share them with. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t have any rape laws at all. Violating a person’ sex organs would simply be an assault. It’s not. It’s a sexual assault, rape, sexual battery, sexual misconduct, sexfraud, or whatever name you’d like to associate with it.

Most people have “feelings” about what happens to them. They don’t necessarily “feel” (that’s called “emotional empathy,”) for what happens to others. From what you’ve said, it seems that you lack emotional empathy.

Having feelings for your own condition, but failing to feel for others is a Narcissitc, and possibly Sociopathic mentality. Lots of folks go through the world that way. Society needs to be made aware how prevalent your mentality is. And laws have to be created to protect people you would harm through you failure to stop yourself.

That person whose sexual organs have no value to you, except warm flesh and body fluids, actually lives inside her body. She is someone’s mother, or sister or daughter. And every time I’ve used the word “she” in this post, I’m also referring to the “he’s” that get violated this same way.

 

 

Counterfeit Daters and Sexual Assault by Fraud

counterfeitA

A gentleman named Mal asked me a question this morning that I believe is important for all my followers to see….

I am pretty sure that a large proportion of dating site profiles have at least one lie in them somewhere. Women often lie about their age for example. If you claim to be 38, when you are in fact 42 and then have sex, would that be considered rape?

And here’s my answer:

When you lie about your identity characteristics, you are altering a person’s impression of who you are. If you don’t straighten out this misconception BEFORE you engage in sex, you have duped them into the act. Why would someone be entitled to having sex with another person under false pretenses? You are defrauding them, not seducing them. You are not the person they think you are.

I often say that lying is not a crime, but defrauding someone is. So here’s a perfect example of when a lie becomes a crime.

You shape a person’s concept of “you” with what you say to them. And if you shape yourself to be someone through false personation, you are using identity characteristics that are not “yours” in order to sexually penetrate them.

Make it difficult to fool you!

ID cards

Because of the significant amount of lies that internet dating sites are known for, I suggest checking an internet date’s ID prior to advancing the relationship.

Obviously, if you meet them and experience no attraction, there’s no need. But if you feel inclined to see them again, exchanging ID would be a good idea. If they resist, it’s a pretty good sign that you should walk away.

When someone asks for an ID check, it’s the right time to confess the lies you wrote into your profile. And if everyone who participated in internet dating, made this a regular practice, you would see the lies diminish. What would be the sense if you would be found out before the relationship got anywhere, and your having lied would paint you as untrustworthy.

An ID check will not give you all the details you’ll want about this person. But, unless they hand you a forgery, which, unfortunately is possible, you’ll at least have their real name, age and address. People who are married are loath to give you their address, so the likelihood of their pretending to be single is reduced.

And…. retain the dating profile of anyone who you go out with!

Should “Counterfeit Daters” be punished?

If a person creates a counterfeit one dollar bill, are they committing a crime? If they use it, they certainly are. And if they pass off a large quantity of them, or tender a forgery of a larger denomination, the penalty for their crime increases.  The principle behind the crime, they use a counterfeit to get what they’re after, is the same regardless of the size of the bill. And lying to defraud someone of sex is a crime, regardless of the size of the lie. In fact, the simple lie…… the age, the marital status, that spills off the tongue, in many ways is even more insidious because of its complete reliability.

Please note, however, that no crime can ever be prosecuted without significant proof, so a “he said, she-said,” told to you at a club or a party, will not garner an arrest when you jump into the sack with the offender. 

Take an internet relationship slowly. Be sure to get to know the person well. Meet their family and their friends. Be wary of dates who claim to travel for business. It could easily cover up that their spouse is at home, looking after their children, while they travel from date to date.

 

 

Fraud 101- When Lies Become a Crime

pants on fire

Lying to someone is not a crime. Lying in order to take something you otherwise would not get is.

Yes, people GIVE things to scammers all the time. But their act of giving is invalidated by the deception that caused them to do so. The victim’s consent is considered ineffective under the law. A crime, not just a lie, has taken place.

We don’t consider being scammed “changing your mind,” when you discover that a hoax deprived you of your assets, but when the scam is about sex, people seem to think that upon recognition, the victim simply changed their mind about having given their permission. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. Just as in all crimes of fraud, they never gave their knowing consent in the first place.

In 1962, the American Law Institute expressed illegal consent the following way: 

“Consent is ineffective if induced by force, duress, or deception.”

Many states across the country, including the state of NJ, where Assembly Bill #3908 is currently pending, have adopted the terminology expressed by Model Penal Code as the law in their own jurisdiction.

Why is society blind to rape by fraud?

blindfoldSomehow, when fraud is used as a tool to undermine a person’s self determination over their sexual sanctity, an act of rape or sexual assault when committed by any other means, most of society does not recognize that a crime is occurring.  Drug someone, force someone through coercion or violence…..  we know they were raped. Dupe someone? To many people, it’s just “puffery”.. the business as usual of conducting seduction.

The fact that the offender sexually penetrated the victim by usurping their consent through an illegal means is irrelevant to them. They are people who feel manipulation is their right. When they manipulate you for your money, they’ll go to jail. When they manipulate you to sexually penetrate you, that’s perfectly okay.

It’s not! When they defraud you to sexually penetrate your body, they are sexually assaulting you, not seducing you. And if rape by fraud laws exist in your jurisdiction, whether or not they will go to jail depends on whether or not you can prove that a crime took place.

Here’s the definition of fraud that everyone in law school learns in their very first class on this topic:

  1. The offender lies
  2. The offender knows they are lying
  3. The offender expects the person to rely on their lie
  4. The person relies on their lie
  5. The offender takes what the person values based on 1-4

As it does every day, fraud figured prominently in today’s headlines.

FarmersIn Fargo, ND, two farmers, Aaron and Dereck Johnson, defrauded the government by deliberately destroying their potato crop and cashing-in on a federal insurance plan.

 

Even our government leaders seem prone to scamming

Sheldon SilverIn NY, deeply entrenched Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, a fixture in the state’s legislature for over 20 years, was recently charged with a fraudulent hoax that put over $4M in his pockets. How can we expect legislators who use their law practice to mask illegal kickbacks to possibly understand the harm in wearing a mask to conduct sex?

Society has lost its moral compass

People are defrauded of sex each and every day. They feel defiled. For many, their lives are shattered because one person felt that their entitlement to get sex, any way they could, was more important than their victim’s self determination over your body. They violated. They don’t give a damn. This needs to stop.

 

Justice- A Moral Imperative for Sexual Assault By Fraud Victims

justice

Socrates, known as one of the greatest philosophers in Greek history, was executed for his beliefs in justice and the pursuit of goodness. He opposed prevailing concepts such as “might makes right.” His teachings and politics were so foreign to the mores of the time, he was executed for corrupting the minds of Athens’ youth.

From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate- Socrates
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate- Socrates

Back then, Greek laws considered “rape” a crime only when the victim was a female citizen in good standing. Sexual brutality toward a slave or a man was irrelevant. And the victim had to be a virgin. Rape was punished consistent with patricide, the murder of one’s father. The injustice was thought to occur to the head of the household, who owned her virginity, not the person who’d been defiled.

Our laws struggled forward from this egregious starting point. Centuries later, here in the US, each state created its own band-aide solutions as society’s morality shifted, with no consistent, state-to-state definition on what actually constitutes a sexual assault.

Ownership of sexual intercourse shifted from father to husband in the colonial US. Wives who were promiscuous were punished for adultery or fornication. But modern society no longer considers sex to be the property of a husband. Rather, our rape penal codes consider the sexual sanctity of each individual to be theirs and theirs alone.

Clearly, today’s ItsOnUs Pledge endorsed by President Obama, states the concept society recognizes as “rape”:

“Non-consensual sex is sexual assault!”

Socrates identified the harm in rape by fraud. He decried violent rape as a villainous act. He  pointed to what he called “sex by persuasion,” as especially compelling because it:

“undermines the character of the victim.”

In our current era, hardly a soul would consider committing violent rape as anything but a heinous act. But yet much of society fails to acknowledge the insidious harm committed by defrauding a victim of sex. Socrates had it right; sexual assault by fraud, (his persuasion,) undermines the character of the victim!

Just as in any other form of sexual assault, rape by fraud strips away integrity and personal autonomy from the victim. And it does so by misusing the victim’s own self determination to harm them. It leaves them feeling culpable in their own defilement. The sense of disgust at oneself for falling prey to sexual intrusion creates oppressive feelings of vulnerability, serious depression…. and even suicide. Victims struggle with the thought that they can and will never feel safe again.

But are victims of rape by fraud culpable?

Not more so than any other victim who is defrauded of any other asset. In all cases of fraud the perpetrator:

  1. Lies,
  2. Knows they are lying,
  3. Intends for the victim to rely on the lie.
  4. The victim relies on the lie.
  5. The offender makes off with the victim’s valuables.

Fraud is a tool that offenders use to acquire what the victim would not otherwise give them. It is an unscrupulous act to deprive a person by manipulating their self-determination. The only difference between sexually assaulting a person by fraud, or stealing other assets, is the bounty the offender criminally usurps. And when that bounty is access to their most intimate, sexual core, the crime is rape.

Justice restores righteousness and integrity to victims

Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind- Cicero
Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind- Cicero

Marcus Tullius Cicero, ancient Greece’s most prominent orator, stated;

“Nothing that lacks justice can be morally right.”

Like Socrates, he was executed for his beliefs. For centuries, society has downplayed sexual sanctity by jerry-rigging peculiar constructs into laws that fail to give bodily integrity its due.

Considering the price the victim pays for this gross oversight, justice is a moral imperative!

Without laws to prevent this reckless and intentional act of sexual depravity, offenses will continue unabated, and countless victims will suffer. Rape by fraud legislation will prevent this moral black hole from quietly sucking society into its vortex.  It will do so by recognizing every person’s right to protection from unscrupulous sexual acts against their body.

A million gadflies are needed! 

gadfly2.jpgSocrates was known as a “gadfly,” the fly that stings the horse into action for his attempts to set Athens on a path toward justice. I sincerely hope you’ll join me in becoming a gadfly to promote passage of sexual assault by fraud laws throughout the US, enabling justice to reach victims who suffer from this debilitating, insidious crime.

Here’s what you can do…..

  • Join 50 Brave Women
  • Write your local legislator and insist on their introducing Sexual Assault by Fraud law in your state.
  • Contact any of the Legislators in NJ and tell them how important the passage of Assembly Legislation, #3908, is to you! You don’t need to be a New Jersey resident to express your opinion.

“50 Brave Women” Campaign for change!

woman w flag

It’s not OK to exploit people for sex!

You can make a meaningful difference in the laws in your state! We need one person to step forward who’s been harmed by a romance scam in every jurisdiction.

Are you up for the challenge?

If so, please complete the simple form below, (which will not be published or seen on the blog,) with the following information:

  1. Write a short description of what happened to you, (please keep it under 5 paragraphs.)
  2. Send your contact information: name, phone, email, city and state (None of this information is made public.)
  3. Let me know if you’re acquainted with any of the legislators in your area, and if so, who.