Until #MeToo, rape mentality was far more widespread than society recognized. The fact that so many celebrities, politicians, successful businessmen and more were recently exposed for abhorrent sexual acts, shows how well-hidden rape mentality has been. Even the President of the United States thinks that forcing his wife into sex is acceptable behavior – a recognition that Continue reading What is Rape Mentality and How Can We Stop It?
Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward, was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing! Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!
Ever heard the term “Keep It Simple, Stupid?” I don’t think any of you are stupid…. it’s just a metaphor. But applying the #KISS theory to sexual assault laws could save countless victims!
Our laws on sexual assault are not only stupid and ridiculous, but they’re the reason rape mentality exists! The solution isn’t rocket science… it’s simple! Here’s what the laws for sexual assault should Continue reading #KISS Away Sexual Assault! #FGKIA
I truly hate being an “I told you so,” And nothing could make me dislike this role more than knowing that 156 unfortunate girls suffered a horribly defiling crime – one that I’ve been jumping up and down to stop for the past 5+ years!
Yesterday, Dr. Lawrence Nassar, former USA Gymnastics team doctor, was sentenced to a 175 year prison term after 156 of his sexual assault victims stepped forward. He’d molested them by using Continue reading Olympic Doc shines glaring light on #SexualAssaultByFraud!
Amid shouts of “Hey-hey, ho-ho, Donald Trump has gotta go!” and “Trump is not my President, You’re fired White House resident!” throngs of women, men and children wound our way through the streets of midtown Manhattan yesterday. The sea of hopeful faces marched forward in solidarity with hope for renewed political integrity and equality for all mankind.
While I try to refrain from comparing anyone’s pain to the harm experienced by others, recent political impacts have helped me recognize how struggling through injustice with no possible relief makes people feel invisible. Hearing hate speech and seeing sexual dysfunction from institutions we relied on as the source of decency, cuts deeply into our collective self esteem. It was uplifting to travel together, surrounded by those who embraced morality and humanity, even if only for four hours.
The sight of the Trump Hotel inspired my sense of irony as I invited my favorite New York State Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright, to join me in holding up my poster: CONSENT = #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement. I pray we can see these words indelibly inscribed into the penal code of NY and every state before we march again in 2019!
You can help by calling your legislators to demand that they make it happen! #FGKIA can be the solution for #MeToo, #TimesUp and the gross confusion over sexual assault and sexual harassment that enables sexual predators like Weinstein, Cosby, Moore and Trump to go unpunished. It can end the invisibility that sex crimes create in a world blinded by ignorance!
Call your legislator and say, #FGKIA – Sign it into law today!
5 to 6 PM on Friday, January 19th
Listeners are welcome to call-in and voice their opinions and questions at 212-650-6903.
This broadcast will be live-video-streamed at WHCR.org for viewers around the world. And listeners can tune in to 90.3 FM.
Here’s your opportunity to speak up and show your support for #FGKIA law! I’m counting on you!
Colorado revised their statutes on sex crimes in 2016. In doing so, they recognized certain, but not all, rape by fraud crimes.
Their laws make a critical distinction between sex crimes with or without penetration. The former is “sexual assault.” The later is “sexual contact.” The degree of the crime determines the ultimate Continue reading Colorado’s Rape Laws- Updated, but antiquated!
To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
I sure hope it is. Stay tuned!
You can help by reading Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! and calling your legislators to demand #FGKIA law.
Will #TimesUp, the new sexual harassment awareness effort by prominent women of stature, ignite the fire that eradicates sexual assault? If they do the following, they will!!
Standardize CONSENT PROVISIONS in penal codes
across the US and beyond!
#MeToo exposed the problem of sexual assault and harassment. Now we need to go the next step and secure the solution!
Why is correctly defining and standardizing “consent” so important? Continue reading #TimesUp and The Importance of #FGKIA!
When you were a child, did your big brother steal from the cookie jar and blame you? Perhaps your parents punished you by having to write 100 times, “I’ll respect my family’s property, I’ll respect my family’s property, I’ll respect my family’s property.”
How did being falsely accused make you feel? Continue reading Invalidation- The Reason Victims Don’t Report Sex Crimes
Today, Amanda Marcotte at Salon ran a valuable piece on the conservative attempt to trash the #MeToo movement. I agree; it’s coming!
Instead of being appalled at the vast quantity of complaints, and recognizing how wide-spread sexual assault and sexual harassment actually are, they are misusing “quantity” to obfuscate and diminish reality. In their convoluted interpretation, the larger and more exposed the problem gets, the less it can be believed. Nothing is further from the truth. Their rationale simply reveals how corrupted their values truly are.
There are people who, as a result of their DNA and their developmental issues, lack the brain chemistry that produces appropriate caring for their fellow man and makes them me-centric. They are unable to grasp why they have no right to impose their sexual desires on another. They look at others as objects of their desires, not human beings deserving of respect. There are a lot of them. And they carry out their assaults, victim after victim, which is why so many people have been harmed.
This objectifying of victims, mostly women, will not stop by exposure alone. There needs to be teeth in the laws that guide behavior. Without it, evil people will simply continue to harm others. There must be penal code that prevents them from doing so. We do not have it.
Although the ItsOnUs Pledge states clearly “Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault,” this language has NOT been enacted into the penal code of any state. And if it were, it would still require correctly defining the meaning of consent- freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA, into law. Without doing so, sexual assault will continue. Adopting these two important statements into law will stop rape mentality!
Call your legislator! Turn them into law, today!
This story seems so familiar to many of us in the US. Yet NOTHING happens to put creeps like this guy behind bars here!
It’s not as if the victim was violently raped…. she wasn’t. But she was dealt the crushing blow of being defrauded of sex.
The victim’s father had posted her profile on a matrimonial site. Allegedly, Sameer Anwar Khan responded, claiming to be a police officer and a suitable suitor for his daughter. He actually pretended to marry this 22 year old woman by creating faked documents! Nothing he said or did was the truth.
This predator will not be dealt with as if he committed a violent rape. But he will be dealt with for the lesser charge of rape by fraud. He will do time for his misdeeds and be fined. And that’s how rape by fraud should be treated around the world!
YOU can make that happen, and prevent sexual assaults of all types while you’re at it! Pick up the phone! Call your legislator! Insist that they sign this language into law today…..
“Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault!”
“Consent is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement!”
Don’t just “like” this message. Pick up the phone! Make it happen!
We CAN combat all kinds of sexual assaults, today!
Log onto BlogTalkRadio to hear Dr. Brenda Wade and I discuss how the same neurotransmitters that got you hooked into a toxic relationship can help you unhook and reclaim your life! Click this link.
You can also secure “20 Ways to Combat Sorrow and Loss Around the Holidays” by using this link.
I sincerely hope that these efforts help you have your happiest holiday season ever!
Like a magnet, yesterday’s senate vote in Alabama glued sexual assault victims to their news sources to watch the count unfold! I too rode the peaks and valleys with mixed joy and bewilderment as the results seesawed back and forth. Jones’s ultimate victory restored my faith in mankind.
It’s hard to fathom how voters could fail to recognize the horror of Roy Moore’s behavior and put their selfish interests above morality! It shows how little concern and recognition they have for the sexual sanctity of others. What we can see in the results, a narrow margin – 49.9% vs. 48.4% – is the completely self-serving narcissism with which a large swath of society conducts itself.
The message behind the vote
Looking at those figures, it’s not difficult to understand why sexual assault is so rampant in our nation. The problem is exponentially worse than the numbers indicate because sexual predators don’t simply harm one person. They commit serial acts of defilement. Someone who is blind to the harm of sexual assault is capable of sexual assault. The Alabama vote shows us just how pervasive the problem actually is.
Donald Trump gave us an important glimpse into his soul, or lack thereof. Even though he initially supported Moore’s rival, Luther Strange, for the Republican nomination, he shifted his support to Moore despite the horrid allegations of sexual assault against minors. His behavior clearly demonstrated how people who support sexual predators can be sexual predators themselves. Just as Roy Moore should be investigated, so should Donald Trump. He’s proved, over and over again, that he is unfit for the office of the Presidency. His support behind Moore reveals the sinister underpinnings of his soul, and his ruthless ability to cast morality aside for his personal agenda.
We have a bigger enemy than ISIS in our midst. It’s the grotesque immorality of Trump and his supporters who are imploding our society’s values from the inside without firing a single shot or hurling a single bomb.
Our brains control our minds, and WE control our brains!
Our best bet to bring joy back into our lives, once we’ve experienced devastating loss, is by reprogramming our brains!
Neuropsychology is the melding of two separate but related studies….
Pshychology, which attempts to resolve why and how we think the way we do by examining our emotions and our developmental experiences,
Neuroscience, the biology of the brain.
By joining both studies together, we can see how the brain, a three pound glob of sophisticated jelly, controls our lives…. Or does it?
Can we control our brains to make improvements in its functioning? Neuropsychologists tell us that the brain possesses neuroplasticity, the ability to constantly change through cell reproduction. So are we married to our grief, or even our beliefs? And can we impact our emotions and thoughts in a positive way… toward permanent change?
Our brains contain a hundred billion nerve cells, divided among hormones and other brain chemistry, synapses, protoplasm, and a host of complex structures. The area of our brain that processes emotions is the amygdala which is found in the limpid system, mid brain, at the point where a line between both eyes would collide with a line connecting our ears.
Our right amygdala processes negative emotions like fear and sadness. Our left amygdala processes happiness, as well as sadness, but is also believed to control our reward system. The amygdala launches the brain and body’s reactions to outside stimuli, particularly those that elicit fear, anxiety and love.
How can you stimulate your way out of depression?
Our brains produce four types of neurotransmitters that promote feelings of well-being and happiness: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins. Each can be harnessed in a variety of ways to pull a person up from despair.
By completing the following form, you’ll receive your list of 20 simple ways to stimulate your good-vibe hormones into action. It’s my holiday gift to you with the hope of making your holiday season as bright as possible, for now and for always!
December 9, 2017- Not even the driving snow and freezing temps could deter dozens of sexual assault survivors from rallying in solidarity in NYC. Staging the event directly across the street from the Trump International Hotel, added a distinct backdrop of irony and inspired signs calling out Trump as “Rapist-in-Chief,” and more. Despite the cold, I was honored and proud to be among the speakers to voice support for the cause.
Sonia Ossorio, the NY State President of NOW, delivered a heartfelt plea that #MeToo will soon become #NotMeToo. Shani Harris, Elizabeth McLaughlin and other sexual assault survivors soulfully moved the crowd with their personal stories.
Organizers, Connie Vasquez and Annmarie Haubert, planned the event as a means to bring sexual assault survivors together in a shared moment of solidarity and support. Because victims are often invalidated and harshly judged, being able to relate their stories to others who shared similar nightmares, can provide tremendous relief and a welcome feeling of acceptance. With hands so cold they could no longer turn pages, they passed the microphone from one speaker to the next.
Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright contributed her message of hope:
METOO is WETOO; the movement has touched each and every one of us and has transformed society. We will NEVER go back but continue to move ahead for progress and equality in all spheres of life.
I pray my explanation about the need for new penal code language fell on supportive ears. While #MeToo exposed the problem, society desperately needs to enact the solution! We can only hold people accountable for violating a victim’s consent, if our laws make the definition of consent crystal clear. Instead our laws are a mish mosh of absurdly differing language and expectations. And those laws often convey what consent is not, rather than what it is: freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA.
Coupling an accurate consent doctrine together with the simple but important language endorsed by President Obama and Vice President Biden in the ItsOnUs Pledge, Non-consensual sex is sexual assault, will put teeth into the laws that protect society, and change rape mentality, now, and for generations to come.
Don’t wait. Don’t leave it up to the next person. Pick up the phone to your legislators. Tell them to adopt the consent doctrine and the definition of sexual assault from the ItsOnUs Pledge today!
Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement!
Non-consensual sex is sexual assault!
Here’s the speech I delivered for the awesome December 9th gathering:
“What a beautiful sea of brave faces! Brave because you dared to publish your #MeToo stories that brought sexual assault out of the shadows and into the daylight. And brave for openly standing together in solidarity, in this driving snow, to add power to all the #MeToo voices that came forward.
But we’re not through being brave! And I’m going to ask you for one more act of bravery……
While the #MeToo effort shines a light on this wide spread problem, it doesn’t fix it. Only enacting new laws to fight sexual assault will do that!
Generations ago, our nation fought a bloody war that embattled brother against brother. But the Civil War is not what actually stopped slavery. Enacting new laws that made slavery a crime so overwhelmingly changed the public’s conscience, that today we wonder how slavery could ever have existed in a moral society. And that’s what we need to do with sexual assault!
I’ve researched the laws from state to state. And what I’ve found is a mish mosh of inconsistency. Even the concept of “consent” is either not defined or poorly defined in penal codes around our nation. How can we possibly expect to lock up people like Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, Bill Cosby and Donald Trump when, in most states, consent is defined by what it’s not instead of what it is!
Sexual predators want us to believe that every form of agreement carries the same weight. But nothing could be further from the truth! Consent is NOT the only form of agreement. But it’s the form of agreement that’s required in ALL sexual contact!
There’s acquiescence, like when you’re 5 foot 2 and 110 pounds soaking wet, and you’re assaulted by someone 6 foot tall, 225 pounds, and you freeze like a butterball turkey because you’re afraid to anger them and make the problem worse than it already is. I know, because that’s exactly what happened to me!
There’s assent, like when you’re the sole support of 2 kids and your boss corners you by the water cooler, gropes your breasts, and you say nothing because losing your job is simply not your option!
But neither of these forms of “agreement” rise to the level of “consent, which is “freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement,” FGKIA!
President Obama (and yes, he’s still my President) and Vice President Biden endorsed the ItsOnUs Pledge with very special language that together with FGK&IA, can turn the tables on rape mentality. They said, “Non-consensual sex is sexual assault.” But you won’t see those words stated anywhere in penal code, anywhere in our nation. We need to change that! We have to establish what sexual assault is, and we have to establish what consent is to bring rape mentality to an end!
So what’s the brave thing I’m going to ask you to do today?
Call your legislators! Make sure they know you want “Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault” and “Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement,” signed into the laws in your state, right away! Light up their switchboards! Illuminate the path to stop rape mentality today!
So let me hear you! FGK&IA, sign it into law today!
FGK&IA, sign it into law today!”
The #MeToo outpouring of sexual assault survivors and supporters has shown the world something that many of us have known all along…. Hardly a woman gets through life without facing some form of sexual harassment or even assault! It’s been the world’s dirty little secret, and now, it’s hit the fan!!
Tomorrow, we’ll celebrate the strength of survivors in NYC! The event launches at 1 PM, at 60th and Central Park West, and I’m scheduled to speak at 2:10. If you’re in NYC, stop by, lend your voice to this momentous cause that can literally change rape culture around the world. And be sure to say hello. I’d love to shake your hand!
Summer Zervos’s defamation suit against Donald Trump could be his undoing. It could prove, once and for all, that he’s a sexual predator. Zervos claimed Trump groped her and thrust his genitals at her while she participated in episodes of “The Apprentice” back in 2007. Only recently; however, Trump called her a liar which, according to Zervos, damaged her reputation and the reputations of others who made similar claims.
While sexual harassment charges must adhere to statutory time limits, Zervos’s defamation charge is timely. Trump would need to prove that her statements were false….. difficult to do when Continue reading Defamation Could be Trump’s Undoing!
Heck NO!! Just look at the new horror that Brock Turner is hurling at his victim!
Judge Persky, the mysoginist magistrate who tried Turner’s rape case, for sexually violating an unconscious drunk woman, claimed he handed out a light sentence because he’d shown “remorse.” But now that Turner’s out of jail and having to deal with the terms of the sex offender registry, his remorse has flown out the window! Turner has filed an appeal.
Just days ago, the sentence of Oscar Pistorius, the South African double amputee who murdered his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, was doubled by the appeals judge on his case. Let’s hope that a new judge in the Turner case follows suit and demands that Turner be remanded for the stiff 14 year term that suits his crime!
ItsOnUs and UltraViolet have partnered to create solutions to sexual assault!
“Adopt this language in penal code throughout the US and beyond…. “‘Consent’ is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement! All Non-Consensual Sex is a Sexual Assault!” ”
— Joyce Short