Tag Archives: #consent

Timing- “The most important piece in reporting sex crimes”

On September 15th, Indiana Representative Wendy McNamara headed a legislative study on CONSENT. One of the presenters, Samantha McCoy from RISE spoke about a case in which the victim was denied justice because she waited a year to take action. The officer told her “The most important piece to reporting is the timeline.”

The reporting timeline affects cases even when the victim reports within the statute of limitations.

Denial of justice is common

In the Harvey Weinstein case, his defense introduced testimony from an expert witness on how memory degrades over time. She ignored the fact that in rape, or other traumatic contact, memories are indelibly seared into the mind. This phenomenon explains why Dr. Christine Blasey Ford could recall details of Brett Kavanaugh’s attack but he, himself, remembered nothing. In a drunken stupor, his behavior, which contained no trauma to him, failed to register in his memory.

After suffering the defiling trauma of rape, many victims simply want to avoid all thought about the incident to restore “normal.” It takes hard work and effort to come to terms with what happened. Overcoming the onslaught to one’s self esteem, destruction of trust, and all the physical and emotional wounds that were inflicted, takes an effort of huge magnitude.

Often, when victims feel ready to pursue justice, our system of justice denies access because the aggrieved is considered to have degraded memory. Here’s the solution…..

Write it down and send a LETTER to SELF!

No matter whether you feel ready or willing to step forward, those feelings can change over time. Preserve your right to be taken seriously by emailing, to yourself, a detailed account of the events. The closer to the date of the actual incident you do so, the greater the acknowledgement you will gain down the road from those in authority. Be sure you hang onto this email by filing it permanently in your system.

Added benefit…..

Trauma scatters your memory. The neuropeptides and hormones that protect your psyche and your body can veil factual awareness from entering your brain in a linear way. One of the reasons the reports of rape victims are treated as “suspect” is because their concepts fail to initially take a linear track. If, however, you write down your account, for your own eyes, you will go through the linear thought process that enables you to assemble the jumbled pieces.

Whether you ultimately decide to go forward with reporting or not, the ability to package your trauma into a document you can file and to revisit as you desire, will help you stop struggling with the memories. It allows you to literally put those memories on the shelf and move past them.

Up-Vote Your Favorite CONSENT Song Contest Entry

Watch and vote for your favorite! And subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

Have singing talent or know someone who does? Read the guidelines and get those entries in by midnight September 1. Voting ends midnight, September 15th.

Grand Prize $500!

Raise awareness! Help define consent to make the world a safer place!

Consent Law Zoom Call – You’re Invited!

RSVP with the words”Consent Zoom” in the subject line to TeamRebeccaSeawright@gmail.com

Join us when we discuss the laws on CONSENT with Weinstein survivors, Jessica Mann and Mimi Haley, Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright, and President of the NY State Trial Lawyers Association, Michele Mirman on Thursday, July 16th, at 7 PM EDT.

Email “TeamRebeccaSeawright@gmail.com” with the words “Consent Zoom” as your subject, to receive the log-in information for this call.

Want to be a part of a transformational change to conquer sexual assault? 

Watch this TEDx Talk and read “Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault.” 

Together, we can make the world a safer place!

 

“Consent” Interview- Tracy Malone Interviews Consent Crusader, Joyce Short

Available now on YouTube! 

Just in time for Sexual Violence Prevention Month!

I had the recent pleasure of interviewing with Tracy Malone, the creator of Narcissist Abuse Support  which provides meaningful information on recovery, as well as support, for hundreds of abuse sufferers.

Tracy Malone, Coach, Organizer, YouTube Guru on Recovery for Narcissist Abuse

Our discussion ran the gamut between the actual definition for “consent” to the concrete steps people can take to make the world a safer place.

I think you’ll find it enlightening!

Consent’s Vital Role in the Dance World

Dancer- Olivia Tarchick, Phtoto by Dafid Hofmann on Unsplash

Today’s post is written by Nicole Perry, CAN’s latest Consent Outreach Ambassador. Nicole is based in South Florida and her unique, professional background in the dance world ties right in with our mission to clearly define consent for society and in penal codes across the US and around the world! 

Nicole is an intimacy director/choreographer, dance choreographer, and movement director. She is also a director, actor, dancer, and the founder of Momentum Stage, a non-profit organization providing resources for performing artists. Her credits are listed below her post.

Here’s what she has to say…….

I believe this time of physical distancing is going to make us more aware of contact and proximity when we are able to reenter the “real world.” Because of that, being able to ask for, as well as affirm or deny consent, is going to be a really applicable skill, in a different way than before.

Photo by Jonathan Ballistella on Unsplash

In the world of performing arts, where I work, consent has only recently become a topic of consideration. I am an Intimacy Director/Choreographer. I create the movement for intimate moments on stage, many of which require physical contact.

Recent beginnings

The term used for my job was created in 2004 by Tonia Sina, the founder of Intimacy Directors International. My role centers around consent. The theatre, film, and opera worlds have been adding this role to their creative teams since about 2017. Even though the #MeToo Movement thrust the need for consent into the spotlight, the concert dance world is still behind. But, as last year’s scandal at the New York City Ballet shows us, it really needs to catch up.

Agreeing under pressure

Photo by Nihal Demici on Unspash

Being a performer conditions us to say “yes”, even if we don’t really mean it. The myth of the Hard to Work with Actor, conveys that when the performer does not say “yes” to everything asked of them, they’ll be labelled “hard to work with,” “difficult,” or “a diva,” and will find it very challenging to get work in the future. “Yes, and…” is encouraged as the only response when conducting improv work.

In dance, a teacher models the combination, and students work to look as much like the teacher as possible. Dance pedagogy, while being very teacher-centric and allowing only one voice of power in the room, is also very touch-centric. It allows the person in power to have “at will” access to the bodies of those not in power. This creates quite the paradox:

While dancers are working to have complete control over their bodies, they are also expected to immediately surrender that control to the teacher or choreographer.

The power-differential effect

Beyond a dancer’s conditioning to say “yes”, we are also conditioned to see and respect power. The performing arts are incredibly hierarchical. The director is in charge of the actors, but answers to an artistic director and/or producers. Among the actors there are leads as well as supporting, and ensemble company members. In dance, the choreographer is in charge of the piece, but the artistic director is in charge of the company.

Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash

There are the corps or company members, but there are also soloists who rank higher up the ladder because of their opportunities, physical capabilities, and often – their paychecks. These power dynamics are part of a performer’s culture from the very first show they are in; which for many is at a very young age. All of this reinforces “yes” as the only option.

Enter CONSENT.……

In my work, as an Intimacy Director/Choreographer, I tell everyone that the work is based on CONSENT, and “consent” is truly only “consent” if “no” is a valid answer. I assure the directors that I can make a story work and fit their artistic vision, while still respecting a performer’s boundaries. I try to ask open-ended questions to my performers, with no implied “yes,” such as, “Does it work for you if so-and-so puts her hand in such-and-such place?” or, “How do you feel about so-and-so placing her hand in such-and-such place?” in order to encourage them to answer honestly.

We are very pleased to be partnering with CAN to promote Consent Culture in the Performing Arts.

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Tap this link if, like NIcole, you’d like to help raise awareness and make the world a safer place by becoming a CAN Consent Outreach Ambassador.

About Momentum Stage

Momentum Stage, offers resources for artists and teachers of the performing arts. We have a whole category of such resources that revolve around Touch and Consent. We offer 3 online courses:

In addition, we offer consulting services for studios, departments, and companies to help create policies that honor the agency of, and protect, their performers and creators.

Recent Credits for Nicole Perry include: 

  • Imagine: a Journey in Dance at the Kravis Center,
  • Choreography and intimacy direction for the US premiere of The Glass Piano at Theatre Lab
  • Intimacy choreography for In the Heights with Measure for Measure Theatre, where she is the resident intimacy choreographer
  • Certified Laban/Bartenieff Movement Analyst through Integrated Movement Studies
  • Member of Stage Directors and Choreographers Society
  • Apprentice at Intimacy Directors International.
  • Founder of Momentum Stage, a non-profit providing resources for performing artists

 

#SAAM Day of Action Challenge

Today is a very special day. Today, we wear the color teal because it’s the day we devote to taking action to prevent sexual assault. And even though we’ve all been put on pause, there is still much we can do to bring the scourge of sexual assault to its knees!

Today is the 19th Day of Action for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Even though we’re sheltering in place, or perhaps because Continue reading #SAAM Day of Action Challenge

#SAAM Starts Today!

#CAN Celebrates #SAAM
Teal is the official color for Sexual Assault Awareness Month

For many people- Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) begins today. But for those who have been sexually assaulted, #SAAM is an everyday occurrence. While we all find ways to put the past behind us, and make the most of our lives, the defilement of rape is character changing. It lives within us forever.

For the team of CAN’s Consent Outreach Ambassadors, who devote Continue reading #SAAM Starts Today!

What can COVID-19 teach us about CONSENT?

‘Terrified’ Healthcare Workers Fear Lack of Protection Against COVID-19

Many of us will soon be thanking God for our ability to check into a hospital. We’ll be counting on the help of courageous, medical front-liners, who put themselves at risk to heal us from COVID-19.

As we approach the reception desk for intake, we won’t give a second thought to signing the CONSENT form that hospitals require. We’ll happily jot down our signature and scribble our initials where required. Some of us won’t even bother reading the form. Even less will contemplate the horrific travesty and social injustice Continue reading What can COVID-19 teach us about CONSENT?

The Tale of the RAM and the WORM

#TheRamAndTheWorm #Worm

A ram sat on a rock looking forlorn. His eyes searched the parched earth that had yielded very little vegetation as he murmured, “Woe is me!”

“What’s wrong?” asked the little worm  who lived in a nearby tunnel.

“It’s going to be mating season soon and there are no ewes here. What’s a ram to do?” he asked.

The little worm looked up at the sky and saw a rain cloud rolling over the nearby hills. “I know,” she said. “You’re in luck!” Then she disappeared into the parched earth. Continue reading The Tale of the RAM and the WORM

Consent Accountability Ryhme

I was honored to be a speaker at this year’s Women’s March NYC, and was overwhelmed by the audience support for the Consent Accountability Rhyme.

Anyone, at any age, can learn and understand what “consent” means. This poem makes the definition for consent crystal clear. It is part of the Your Consent for Kids YouTube cartoon that every parent should watch with their children to grow a Consent Aware generation! As well, sex education classes can include it in their programs. It’s free!

We’ve had Generation X, Y and Z. Let’s create Generation “Consent Aware” for our developing kids!

Consent Accountability Rhyme

 

The words, “You Can,” mean “I consent.”

You say so with your voice.

But it’s not consent when you’re forced, or tricked,

Or scared into your choice!

CONSENT means “Freely Given,”

When you know the facts and agree.

So don’t force or trick, or try to scare,

When you want consent from me!

Watch the Your Consent for Kids cartoon and share it with everyone you know!

 

“Your Consent for Kids” Cartoon Is Coming!

Your Consent for Kids is coming!

Want an easy way to talk with your kids about “consent?” This engaging cartoon explains consent in terms every child can readily understand. Don’t worry, it’s not about sex! It’s about the simple things kids encounter everyday. It’s perfect for kids aged 6 through 12.

Consent Awareness Network is releasing this video, completely free, in order to grow a generation of consent-aware adults! Kids are our future! Continue reading “Your Consent for Kids” Cartoon Is Coming!

Alaska Law Maker Tackles CONSENT #IWillCodifyConsent

Alaska State Representative Geran Tarr

It’s little wonder that Alaska State Representative Geran Tarr is focused on defining CONSENT for her state’s Penal Code. Alaska has the highest ratio of rape from coast to coast; close to 3 times the national average!

On October 10th, Rep. Tarr hosted an open conversation on CONSENT which included representatives from STAR, the Consent Continue reading Alaska Law Maker Tackles CONSENT #IWillCodifyConsent

Consent Provisions and Definitions

The following are recently recommended provisions on CONSENT-

Yet the only one that is actual penal code is the statute from Missouri that’s a provision, without a definition.

Definitions state the meaning of a word.

Provisions state conduct which uses the word that’s been defined.

Definitions and provisions must work in synch in order for penal code to make sense. Continue reading Consent Provisions and Definitions

ABA’s “Consent” Desperately Needs an Overhaul!

#MeToo #TimesUp We need to change the laws on #Consent!

The American Bar Association (ABA) recently attempted to provide recommended wording for “consent” in order to get the states and territories across the US on the same page. You’d think I’d be jumping for joy, but unfortunately, I’m not. And the reason is not because their attempt failed, but because their attempt so woefully missed the mark!

Here’s the definition that was indefinitely postponed (thank the Good Lord!) this past August: Continue reading ABA’s “Consent” Desperately Needs an Overhaul!

“Your CONSENT” Featured Today in NFReads

On Amazon – https://amzn.to/2S9ZUJu

Featured today in NFReads, Joyce Short’s article: “Why “consent” is critical for protecting you and your family.”

5 Fatherly ways to Protect kids from Sexual Assault – for #FathersDay and Forever!

Image result for fatherly photo

More and more, we’re seeing men take responsibility for preventing sexual assault. The ItsOnUs campaign focuses on men stepping in when they see potential or actual danger. And no one, neither mother nor father, wants their child harmed by a sexual predator.

The average age for a sex trafficked girl is 13. And boys are also sex traffic targets. Parents need to combat the dangers long before their Continue reading 5 Fatherly ways to Protect kids from Sexual Assault – for #FathersDay and Forever!

“Without consent” laws do not define “consent”

In the US, states often attempt to define the word “consent” by what it’s not instead of what it is. And our system of justice ironically changes “consent” depending on what you’re consenting to.

Regardless what antiquated, inaccurate penal code tells you, whether consent is applied to cyber security, theft, medical treatment, research experiments, sexual assault, etc., consent is always the same….. #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement.

It’s high time our legislators get it right! Continue reading “Without consent” laws do not define “consent”

Carnal Abuse by Deceit – How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape

#CAD or #CarnalAbuse #ElvisPressley #ZoeMincheff

He was the man of her dreams…. a tall, dark, outrageously handsome, charismatic, intelligent nightmare!

Back in the early 1970’s, there was no literature or common knowledge about covert psychopaths. No one warned that sexual predators would and could underhandedly con you without giving off the slightest glimmer of suspicion. The fact that they have no Continue reading Carnal Abuse by Deceit – How a Predator’s Lies Became Rape

Hay Festival- What a difference a year makes for #MeToo!

#JoBrand Comedian comments on #FGKIA #MeToo
Jo Brand – Comedian

In contrast to last year’s Hay Festival… the annual literature and arts festival conducted each year in Hay-on-Wye, Wales, comedian Jo Brand gave rousing support to the #MeToo movement. As reported by The Guardian, she stated: “I feel it is something we need to keep pushing at. It was going in the right direction until certain people said, ‘Oh they’ve had their say, can they not be quiet now?’” She blamed most of Continue reading Hay Festival- What a difference a year makes for #MeToo!