Tag Archives: #SexualAssaultByFraud

Victim-Blaming Consent Bills Will not Conquer Sexual Assault!

Three legislative bills to deal with sexual assault have just been introduced in three individual states this month. CAN actively engaged with the legislators for each one.

In fact, to emphasize our point, we conducted Zoom calls and appeared in hearings with legislators, and we included several celebrities who understood the failure of our laws because they’re Weinstein and Cosby survivors. Our heartfelt thanks goes to Rose McGowan, Andrea Constand, Jessica Mann, Mimi Haley, Dawn Dunning and Tarale Wulff.

The new bills are: House Bill 1176 in Indiana, House Bill 0213 in Utah, and House Bill No. 5 in Alaska.

While the attention to sexual assault is welcome, to effect meaningful change, legislators can’t simply regurgitate flawed language that supports outdated myths!

Unfortunately, none of the three bills that were introduced contain specific, game-changing, legislative language to conquer sexual assault. Instead, while they, indeed, criminalize a specific behavior we advocated for fixing, rape by impersonation, they perpetuate the victim-blaming mentality that’s engrained in our justice system.

Your help could fix this!

When writing legislation, legislators often rely on laws that already exist in other jurisdictions and settle for copy-catting ineffective statutes. The theory behind this method is that they can defend their bill by saying…. “Well, so-and-so does it this way.”

My mother (RIP) used to say: “If so-and-so jumps off a bridge, does that mean you should do it too?”

Example:

The Basics of Marching | Military.com

The bill in Alaska relies on the language of federal military law to establish its consent provision. Their House Bill #5 submitted by Representative Geran Tarr on January 8, 2021, states:

Sec. 4(9) – “Consent” means a freely given, reversible agreement specific to the conduct at issue by a competent person.”

Alaska is the state with the highest rape statistics. But even their horrific numbers are outdistanced by the military in which 50% of females are sexually harassed or assaulted, with virtually no recourse. Is it really the right statute to emulate?

The military’s language falls short because it leaves out one of the most important characteristics of consent: it must be “knowledgeable and informed.” The public often makes the mistake of thinking of consent as any old form of agreement, but that’s incorrect. There are three basic types of agreement that frequently occur in sexual contact:

  • Assent- Agreement on the face of it,
  • Acquiescence- Agreement under duress,
  • Consent- Freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement #FGKIA.

While “consent” can only take place between two competent people, consent does not exist when one of those people induces the other’s agreement through force, fear or fraud.

The military’s consent language fails to take into account that the offender’s artifice in inducing agreement determines which type of agreement is actually taking place. Inducing consent is the only form of agreement that makes sexual contact legal. Problem is, no state defines consent, and the federal law neglects to include that one must have competent information in order for their agreement to qualify as consent.

Ex-gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar pleads guilty to 3 more criminal sex  charges

Larry Nassar is in jail for the rest of his life because he induced agreement through the artifice of deception. While his victims assented, agreed on the face of it, they in no way consented, freely gave knowledgeable and informed agreement. While some of his victims had not obtained the age of competence, others had done so. Regardless of their competence level, however, they were all victims of rape by fraud in the factum because the information he gave them was not competent information.

Reversible agreement?

Actually, “revocable” is more to the point. But it goes without saying that because, to qualify as consent, your agreement must be “freely given,” the minute you change your mind, you are no longer consenting.

If; however, legislators feel more comfortable including the concept that consent can be withdrawn in order to emphasize the point, revoke means “to put an end to.” Reverse means “to make the opposite of what it was.”

Revoking clearly means stop, in the moment. Reversing begs the question of what actually existed in the first place and whether you can reverse your decision after the fact. Clearly, freely given knowledgeable and informed agreement can be revoked, but not reversed.

Your discovery that you were forced, coerced or tricked into thinking you were consenting is not a reversal of consent. It is a recognition that the type of agreement that actually took place was not consent to begin with because the malicious conduct of the offender prompted your agreement. The offender disrupted or overpowered your thought process, but only for so long. Our laws need to be crystal clear!

Another glaring mistake in Alaska’s bill…

Sec. 3. AS 11.41.445 is amended by adding a new subsection to read: (1) an expression of lack of consent through words or conduct means there is no consent;

Surely, you are not consenting when your words and conduct convey such. But it’s consent-blind to think that the victim’s ability to discern whether they are being sexually assaulted – in the moment – is always accurate. Saying, or acting like a “no” cannot be the only dividing line between consenting and not consenting, but that’s often how this provision is misused in a courtroom.

Larry Nassar’s victims certainly did not discern, in the moment, that they were being sexually assaulted. Sexual predators go to great lengths to undermine knowledgeable and informed agreement by all forms of deception, duplicity and artifice, that a reasonable person would have difficulty detecting.

Also, victims are often too scared, startled, traumatized, or injured to assert a refusal through words or conduct. The reliance on the victim’s words or conduct takes the responsibility for securing #FGKIA, and places responsibility for their own sexual assault squarely on the shoulders of the victim.

“Words and conduct” are a conveyance. But they can only convey consent when and if consent is actually taking place. Whether the victims knows, or does not know that the offender is undermining the elements needed for consent, the offender knows full well what they are doing. A person’s conduct is criminal because of what they do, not what their victim does. In fact, in courtrooms, victims are considered witnesses to a breech of the state’s code by the accused.

We know #FGKIA is the actual definition for consent because several currently in-force, and strictly adhered-to codes and laws tell us so….

  • Nuremburg Code, which establishes consent for medical treatment and experiments,
  • Model Penal Code which was created by the American Law Institute in 1962, and has been adopted into law in several states to protect against theft,
  • General Data Protection Regulation that protects your cyber-security on the internet and is international law.

All of these codes and provisions are clear that consent is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement, #FGKIA.

My TEDx Talk “When YES Means NO – The Truth about Consent” clearly explains the distinction between all three types of agreement and why CONSENT, not assent or acquiescence, must take place in sexual contact.

My book, “Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault,” provides greater depth on the issues.

Nulla Poena Sin Lege

This hazardous relic from the Roman era is what makes defining consent so vital in the struggle to conquer sexual assault. It’s a legal doctrine that means, “What’s not prohibited by law is permissible.” Defining consent by specific instances that are “not consent.” fails to cover all the ways consent does not take place. The only way to cover all the ways that consent does not take place and protect against sexual assault is to properly define consent and establish that sexual conduct without consent is a sexual assault.

Claiming that the way to determine if the victim consented or not is to judge whether they made an utterance or tried to get away…. as courts interpret “words and conduct”….. fails to consider all the varied reactions a victim could have when they’re being sexually assaulted – including freezing. It’s the remaining, ugly vestige of patriarchal, rape mentality that’s been passed down in our laws century after century. Our present law makers should make it stop, not perpetuate this victim-blaming language.

The victim’s reaction should not be on trial. The actions of the offender should be on trial. “Words and conduct” puts the victim’s actions on trial. By correctly defining consent, the offender’s efforts to maliciously suppress their victim’s resistance would be on trial.

In real life…..

Donna Rotunno, Harvey Weinstein’s lawyer, exploited the failure of the “words and actions” provision in New York’s laws, claiming that the words and actions of his victims acquitted her client. Fortunately, because five victims stepped up to establish Weinstein’s predatory behavior, he was convicted. But in cases where one victim, alone, has been harmed, the likelihood of conviction is rare. In fact the likelihood of an arrest is infinitesimal.

We’ve all known the horrible statistics, we just didn’t know why. The “why” is that our laws, that we rely on for justice, blame the victim instead.

Alaska’s bill raises fraud as an artifice but narrowly limits the application.

The 14th amendment of the US Constitution grants equal protection under the law. The public needs protection against all forms of sexual assault, not just some forms of sexual assault. Fraud is frequently used by sexual predators as their weapon of choice.

Medieval Weapons stock footage. Video of gore, archaic - 49518644

Fraud is not difficult to understand. Juries consistently determine guilt and innocence in theft by fraud cases. Fraud is not different in sexual assault by fraud cases. Here are its 5 steps:

  1. You deceive
  2. You know you’re deceiving
  3. You expect your victim to believe your deception
  4. They believe your deception
  5. They suffer harm as a result of believing your deception

Fraud can be used to create all sorts of crimes, including sexual assault. Clearly, when we understand that consent must be “knowledgeable and informed,” we can understand why defrauding a person for sex is a crime. Keep in mind that in order to prosecute a fraud case, the victim would have to have significant proof that a fraud, indeed, took place,

In addition. the prosecutor would have to be convinced that a “reasonable person” would have been deceived under the same circumstance.

The job of the jury is to act as “reasonable people,” in fraud cases and other crimes. In fact, in the Bill Cosby case, when the jury asked for the definition for “consent,” Judge Steven O’Neill responded; “You’re ‘reasonable people’; use your commonsense,” because no definition for consent exists in Pennsylvania’s laws.

HB 5’s narrow wording on sexual assault by fraud, confining the crime to “someone pretending to be another person,” is not sufficient to protect Alaskan’s from all forms of sexual assault by fraud.

Signing of the Declaration of Independence | National Geographic Society

Many of our legislators, principally male, think it’s trivial, even good sport, to defile a woman by defrauding her. If you look back at the immorality of our forefathers in owning slaves and conducting extramarital affairs, it’s hard to fathom how our country became the standard bearer for human rights. While we’ve abolished slavery, we still have not abolished sexual assault.

Even today- our legislators are reticent to take a clear position to prevent defilement by fraud because they either fail to see the life-changing harm in the conduct, or fear that their base fails to see it, and they will lose their support.

Our penal codes separate “sexual assault” provisions from “assault” provisions because of the devastating impacts of defilement on a person. That defilement can take place from all violations of sexual autonomy, not only violent ones.

As civilization has evolved, we’ve recognized that sexual assault can happen to men as well as women, but the stereo-typical concept that sexual assault is a “women’s problem” perpetuates dismissiveness. While our laws are clear that consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement when protecting a man’s property, we deny that the same definition applies in sexual contact.

Corrected, accurate wording, that is consistent with HB #5’s objective, is:

Consent is freely given, revocable, knowledgeable and informed agreement, by a competent person.

Although being “revocable ” is understood by the fact that consent must be freely given, it does not hurt to include the information for clarity.

And if, in addition, Alaska’s Penal Code stated that “Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault,” like the ItsOnUs Pledge tells us, folks in Alaska would be able to secure justice for all types of sexual assault. But instead, the bill states specific types of sexual assault, leaving abundant legal loopholes for predators to slip through.

Defining consent correctly would put all sexual predators on notice, guide their behavior, and hold them accountable.

Indiana- the new Hoosier bill

I am truly ecstatic to see the new sexual assault by fraud bill, HB 1176, gain traction in Indiana’s legislature! Back in late 2017, I began communicating with Indiana State Representative Sally Siegrist to help enact legislation for Indiana. In fact, my TEDx Talk focused on the case that served as Indiana’s “Ah-Ha Moment” for creating the bill. The information was picked up by Buzzfeed, Nightline, Inside Edition, the NY Times, and additional media outlets.

A female student at Purdue University was defrauded for sex by an imposter; a male student named Donald Grant Ward. Ward climbed in bed with her – after seeing that she was asleep and her boyfriend had left the room. She had fallen asleep in her boyfriend’s bed, with his arms embracing her. Thinking Ward, who stroked her breast, was her boyfriend, she engaged in sex. When she learned the truth, she and her boyfriend called the police.

Even though Ward readily admitted to tricking her, and confessed his intent to do so to the police, the arrest led to an acquittal because rape by deception is not a crime in Indiana. And, like every other state, Indiana has no definition for consent.

I had hoped that with Rep. Siegrist’s help, we could close the legal loophole in Indiana’s law on rape by fraud, and provide Hoosiers with greater protection against sexual assault with a clear definition of consent.

South Carolina State Representative Mandy Powers-Norell saw the Buzzfeed article that featured both myself and Rep. Siegrist. She was determined to make a difference and submitted HB 3829 last year, which died in committee.

New cast of characters

On January 7th, this year, Rep. Siegrist’s colleague, Rep. Sharon Negele, along with Rep. Donna Schaibley, and Rep. Sue Errington, introduced HB 1176 to get the job done in Indiana.

Over the summer, the Indiana legislators agreed to conduct an Interim Study on Consent. CAN submitted a video which launched the discussion, featuring myself, Tarale Wulff and Mimi Haley, both Weinstein survivors who had testified against him. Our interest was to get the over-arcing protection of “consent” codified into Indiana’s laws. The Zoom hearing contained heart-wrenching stories about the invalidation and injustice that results from Indiana’s failure to define consent.

One of those stories was presented by Liz White, a mother who’d been artificially inseminated by a doctor who lied about the sperm he was implanting. Instead of the donor he claimed, Dr. Donald Cline used his own sperm. Her research uncovered that he had fathered 90 children by defrauding his patients. He has approximately 180 grandchildren. As a result, his community is at high risk for unknowingly incestuous relationships among his offspring. Ms. White asked that the act of switching sperm by a fertility doctor be included as a sexual assault by fraud.

Sometimes, when you reach for the sun, you get to the moon.

Instead of a consent bill, a narrowly confined sexual assault by fraud bill, specifically making the sexual assault at Purdue University a crime, is finally pending.

During a recent legislative “reading” of the bill by the Codes and Courts Committee, Courtney Curtis, with IPAC, the organization representing Indiana’s Prosecutors, said that sexual assault cases in Indiana result in “disparate treatment from courtroom to courtroom.” Yet despite her statement which underscores how badly needed defining consent actually is in Indiana, she failed to support defining consent in Indiana’s laws.

Curtis went on the claim that fraud is confusing. She failed to acknowledge the simplicity with which judges explain fraud in theft cases exactly as I described above. The committee voted in favor of the narrow bill as written, without including an amendment Ms. White requested. Subsequently, the bill passed in the House of Representatives by a 90 to 4 vote.

HB 1176 also contains the blame-the-victim language created by the concept that a victim’s “words and conduct” convey consent. In fact, they only convey consent when consent, freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement takes place, not when the offender uses force, fear or fraud to undermine the victim’s self determination.

I truly hope HB 1176 passes, because closing even one legal loophole is far better than doing nothing! But I urge all readers to use your voice to appeal to Indiana’s legislators for clarity on what sexual assault actually is! They need to stop the victim-blaming nonsense they are embedding in their statutes, and recognize their responsibility to “equal protection under the law:” If one act of fraud to induce sexual contact is a sexual assault, then all acts of fraud to induce sexual contact is a sexual assault. And influencing a victim’s decision making process through force, fear or fraud, should never be seen as consent in a court of law. I urge you to use your voice by writing to the legislators who are sponsoring HB 1176. You’ll see their contact information at the end of this post.

Without the definition for consent clearly codified into Indiana’s laws, there is no end to the loopholes that sexual predators can dive into in order to assault their victims.

Last but not least, Utah!

On June 5th, 2020, CAN joined forces with the WE-Will Organization to reach out to Utah State Representative Angela Romero about defining consent in Utah’s laws. On January 8th, 2021, she, along with Senator Todd Weiler introduced HB 0213, entitled “Consent Language Amendments.”

In Section 1. 76-5-406 (2)(g), the first suggested amendment expands the state’s acknowledgement of when consent does not take place from impersonation of “a spouse” to “someone else.”

Just like the Indiana bill, Utah’s bill is a big, but narrow win for sexual assault by fraud. But it’s a legislative loophole plugger, not a consent definition. It fails to deal with any other deception or method for undermining a victim’s right to #FGKIA,

If sexual assault is a crime, and we know it is, as a result of the 14th amendment, the public deserves protection from all sexual assaults, not simply a few selected ones. Only by recognizing that consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, will the public be properly served by Utah’s penal code.

Making it simple

If someone threatens you in order to get you to give them your car, they’re committing grand larceny. If they threaten you to induce sexual contact, “You agreed, didn’t you?”

Bernie Madoff | Biography, Ponzi Scheme, & Facts | Britannica

In New York, Bernie Madoff will spend the rest of his life in jail because he defrauded victims of their assets by false pretenses. He did so in a manner that a reasonable person would not suspect.

But if you show your victim a divorce decree, with a raised seal and judge’s signature, claiming that you’re divorced when you’re not, in order to sexually penetrate them, they have absolutely no recourse when they discover the decree is a forgery. This, by the way is an actual case in which the Honorable James J. Panchik, a divorce judge in Armstrong County Pennsylvania, whose signature was forged on the document, was notified and failed to do anything about it.

One more important thing…….

Do sexual predators actually read penal code? Probably not! At least, not ’til they’ve been caught! In fact I dare say, most of the public has never read it either.

Laws that drone on with legal-ease negatives about specific nonconsensual acts do not give the public the guidance and accountability that defining consent clearly, in simple terms, will create.

Can we make it simpler than “Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement?” That’s what it is! A six year old child can learn and understand it.

How to stop a child from stealing - 9Honey
  • They don’t have consent if they lie that they finished their homework in order to have a cookie.
  • They don’t have consent if the kid next to them on the school bus dropped their lunch money. They are responsible to return it.
  • They don’t have consent if they bully a younger child to give up the swing when they want it.

If you’d like help explaining consent to your kids, watch our cartoon, “Your Consent for Kids.” It’s totally G-rated!

Consent is not rocket-science folks! It’s really simple to understand! And we need our legislators to protect us from sexual assault by getting it right!

How can you help?

Contact the bill’s authors and co-authors by phone or email. If by phone, you can simply leave a message. If by email, please provide us with a copy by cc or bcc to info@consentawareness.net.

Alaska:

  • Rep. Geran Tarr- Rep.Geran.Tarr@akleg.gov – 907-465-3424
  • Legislative Director Michelle Hale- MichelleHale907@gmail.com

Indiana:

  • Rep. Sharon Negele- Write or call her Legislative Asst: Lewis Ostermeyer at Lewis.Ostermeyer@iga.in.gov – 317-232-9816
  • Rep. Donna Schaibley- Donna.Schaibley@iga.in.gov – 800-382-9841
  • Rep. Sue Errington- Sue.Errington@iga.in.gov

Utah:

  • Rep. Angela Romero- AngelaRomero@le.utah.gov – 801-722-4972
  • Sen. Todd Weiler- tweiler@le.utah.gov – 801-599-9823

Here’s a simple message for you to cut/paste and fill-in the blanks:

Dear _________,

Thank you for your efforts to create Bill _______.

While I support all legislative changes to combat sexual assault, I see that this bill fails to accurately define consent, and this failure perpetuates rape and sexual assault.

Please include this wording in your bill:

“Non-consented-to sexual contact is a sexual assault, and a violation of the victim’s human rights. Only “freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement” is consent in the state of _____.

Sincerely Yours,

Your name, address, and phone number

One more thing…..

CAN simply CAN’t do everything that’s needed without your help! No matter how large or small your contribution is, it’s welcome and will be put to good use to fight for CONSENT laws across the US and around the world!

Thank you in advance for your generosity!

Please use this PayPal Link.

Consent Accountability Ryhme

I was honored to be a speaker at this year’s Women’s March NYC, and was overwhelmed by the audience support for the Consent Accountability Rhyme.

Anyone, at any age, can learn and understand what “consent” means. This poem makes the definition for consent crystal clear. It is part of the Your Consent for Kids YouTube cartoon that every parent should watch with their children to grow a Consent Aware generation! As well, sex education classes can include it in their programs. It’s free!

We’ve had Generation X, Y and Z. Let’s create Generation “Consent Aware” for our developing kids!

Consent Accountability Rhyme

 

The words, “You Can,” mean “I consent.”

You say so with your voice.

But it’s not consent when you’re forced, or tricked,

Or scared into your choice!

CONSENT means “Freely Given,”

When you know the facts and agree.

So don’t force or trick, or try to scare,

When you want consent from me!

Watch the Your Consent for Kids cartoon and share it with everyone you know!

 

#CodifyConsent to Conquer #SexualAssault!

Image result for election photos

Elect candidates who pledge: #IWillCodifyConsent!

Codifying CONSENT into law is the critical key to conquering  sexual assault! Yet no US state or territory actually defines the noun, CONSENT in its laws. How can we know what the verb “to consent” means without knowing what the noun, “consent,” actually means?

……..We can’t!

 

No law can list all the many ways a crime can take place. Telling us some non-permitted sexual behaviors fails to convey the wide range Continue reading #CodifyConsent to Conquer #SexualAssault!

Plugging-Up How Many Loopholes Equals Consent?

#SexualAssault Laws without CONSENT-The Swiss cheese umbrella!

As David Mack aptly described in his BuzzFeed article, Justin Schneider was not convicted of sexual assault in Alaska.  Ejaculating on a victim’s face while they’re out cold was not a crime…. not even when he admitted that he’d choked her to knock her out.

Alaska’s statutes called for physical touch of body parts, not semen, to hold Schneider accountable. Too late for his victim, the Alaska Continue reading Plugging-Up How Many Loopholes Equals Consent?

Texas Passes First Sexual Assault by Fraud Law!

Texas Fertility Doctor Kim McMorries

Little by little, the concept that deceiving someone about conduct involving their reproductive organs is a crime is seeping into society’s consciousness. This past Wednesday, Texas Gov. Greg Wiley took a giant step forward that brings this critical issue to light by signing Senate Bill #1259 into law. It becomes effective on September 1.

The new Texas law is based on the case of Eve Wiley whose birth resulted from the artificial insemination of her mother by Dr. Kim McMorries. Instead of impregnating her by the sperm of the donor Continue reading Texas Passes First Sexual Assault by Fraud Law!

Today’s NY Times- Is Sex by Deception a Form of Rape?

Today’s NY Times – Is Sex by Deception a Form of Rape?

Kudos to Abby Ellin for getting this right!! As an author about a very contentious subject, I’m often concerned about my words getting twisted, but Ms. Ellin was thorough about the important points and spot-on in the message she’s conveyed.

The #FGKIA definition for consent, “Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement,” is the REAL definition for consent.  We need to drive #FGKIA into the consciousness of society! Adopting this language into law will not only open society’s eyes to defrauding victims of sex, but will help conquer all forms of sexual assault! We can no longer tolerate our legislators picking and choosing specific types of sexual assaults to prosecute, when ALL FORMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS – WAS – AND FOREVER WILL BE A CRIME!

Failure to recognize this definition not only impacts sex by deception victims, but prevents society from understanding what actually constitutes rape.

For the NY Times to be dealing with the issue of sexual assault by deception is a huge step forward to enlighten society. Please read this article and write your opinion in the comment section. Use your voice to make the world a safer place!

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On Amazon – https://amzn.to/2S9ZUJu

Watch this TEDx Talk

Read Your Consent  – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault

Participate in the #PutCONSENTtoMusic Song Contest

Call your legislator and demand change!

Tulipan Argentina’s New Condom Packaging Adds to CONSENT Confusion

Embedded video

Tulipan, an Argentine condom manufacturer, created new packaging to promote the “No Means No” concept of consent. Their box requires four hands to open. But this packaging fails to recognize that someone can be forced, coerced or deceived into cooperating. And when that happens, CONSENT is not present no matter how many hands have stirred this pot!

Less than 15% of Argentine men are estimated to actually use condoms. Never-the-less, this version of consent confusion intensifies the mischaracterization of consent as agreement by any means.  While “No” always means “No,” “Yes” only means “yes” when it is “freely given, knowledgeable and informed.  #FGKIA!”

Just like a Marlboro cigarette box is required to display a warning, Tulipan’s boxes should bear this notice:

“Regardless of how many hands open this box, consent is not present if either party has been forced, coerced or deceived to secure their agreement to sexual conduct.”

Consent – Assent – Acquiescence: What’s the dif?

#CAD or #CarnalAbuse #FGKIA #RapebyFraud

It took me 4 years to write my first book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit. I published it in 2013. That means I began the process of trying to straighten out society’s understanding and laws on rape ten years ago. In those ten years, I’ve probably seen every definition of assent, acquiescence and consent that exists in the English language, right, wrong, and in between.

And I’ve recognized that society has a knee jerk reaction to considering non-violent sexual assaults as “rape.” I’ve learned not to split hairs over semantics; particularly because sexual assaults that are non-violent should be considered a lesser offense than violent sexual assaults. But all sexual assaults, whether violent or non-violent, should be covered by penal code because every victim who is sexually assaulted is defiled, whether or not violence was used against them.

Assent:

Except for the misunderstandings that lump assent, consent, and acquiescence all together as synonyms – which they’re not – you’ll see that assent is a superficial type of agreement. Anyone who nods their head and says “yes” is assenting.

In 1946, an American military tribunal conducted military, criminal proceedings against 23 German medical professionals for their crimes against the human race. They had cooperated in or conducted ghoulish experiments using live humans during World War II. The Nuremberg trials, as they were known, gave voice to Nuremberg Code which guides medical experiments throughout the US. Nuremberg Code identifies that even a child, who has not yet reached the age of reason, can assent. Simply saying “yes” is assenting,

Nuremberg Code also tells us that saying yes when you have all the facts, are capable of reason, and are not being pressured, is “consenting.” Nuremberg Code requires the subject of a medical experiment to “consent.” If that subject is a child, their agreement could only be considered as “assent.” In order to conduct such an experiment, the child would have to sign an “assent” form. The parent or legal guardian would sign a “consent” form.

Acquiesce

Alleged sexual predator Harvey Weinstein heads for court

When a person acquiesces, they are assenting. But not everyone who assents is acquiescing. They could be agreeing but not because of fear. Acquiescence is agreement under duress, (fear/pressure.) You could also say that acquiescing is assenting under duress. But as Nuremberg Code points out, a person who consents must do so of their own free will. So a person who is pressured by fear to assent is not consenting. They are acquiescing.

Deception:

In legal discussion regarding contracts, your assent can be nullified if the basic facts by which you assented were misrepresented (fraud). Although you agreed on the face of the information you were given, your assent is vitiated. Since you were not knowledgeable and informed, although you assented, you did not consent.

Why are these differences important? 

We need for society to understand the difference between various types of agreement in crystal clear, simple terms. Our law makers are clear that we need “consent” to engage in sex. But they are clear as mud, and frequently incorrect, about what consent actually is.

In practice, from coast to coast, what is not expressly prohibited under the law is permissible: therefore, until we express that “nonconsensual sex is sexual assault, and consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement” in our laws, all instances in which a specific defiling act takes place without a specific penal code prohibition, that conduct cannot be prosecuted.

Several states say your “words and overt actions” are consent. Nope, if your words and overt actions result from force, duress, or deception, they are absolutely not consent. “No” means no, but “yes” only means  yes when it’s not induced by force, duress, or deception. Only in rare cases do our laws uphold this principle.

As I’ve struggled with the process of motivating legislators to deal with this issue, I’ve seen that their interest in ignoring deception is deliberate. It’s far too consistent to be otherwise. Model Penal Code’s description, “Consent is ineffective if induced by force, duress or deception,” is too widely known for the omission of deception to be seen as simply an oversight or not relevant.

Our law makers have been truly callous to the harm a person suffers when they are tricked into sex, and they envision that these cases will “clog up our courts.” The fact that the victim’s self determination over their reproductive organs has been violated is irrelevant to them.  The end result; however, is that their failure to identify what consent really means feeds the rape mentality that harms sexual assault victims all across the spectrum.

What can be done about it?

#MeToo and #TimesUp have identified that sexual assault is rampant, but even their efforts fail to reach to the core of the problem. Correctly defining consent in our laws would guide behavior and hold sexual predators, who prey on people for sexual contact in a myriad of ways, accountable.

Very few states correctly identify the relationship between assent and consent. Missouri is one of them.  Missouri. 556.061 (14) states: “Assent does not constitute consent if (c.) It is induced by force, duress or deception.”

Why not? Because consent is freely given (not forced or coerced (duress)), knowledgeable and informed (not deceived) agreement. #FGKIA!

Yet when it came to prosecuting Mario Antoine, who tricked over 30 victims into sex, the SVU Prosecutor in Kansas City MO, Jill Icenhower, failed to prosecute.

Here’s Nuremberg Code:

“The person involved should have legal capacity to give consent; should be so situated as to be able to exercise free power of choice without the intervention of any element of force, fraud, deceit, duress, over-reaching, or other ulterior form of constraint or coercion; and should have sufficient knowledge as to enable him (or her) to make an understanding and enlightened decision.

The solution:

The solution for holding all sexual assault offenders accountable is for our laws to recognize that all –

Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault – and

Consent is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement – #FGKIA!

This isn’t rocket science. It’s just plain common sense! Call your legislator and demand that they enact this new, consent-based language to prohibit all forms of sexual assault into the laws of your state, today!

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Help to adopt appropriate laws to conquer sexual assault today! Read Your Consent and send it to your legislators.

Demand change! 

Indiana Fails to Enact #RapeByFraud Bill

HB 1584, the bill to address a gaping, rape loophole in Indiana’s laws  – the one that failed to convict Donald Grant Ward of sexual assault – will not see the light of day in the 2019 legislative session.

Grant Ward, as his friends call him, climbed into the upper bunk where a female student was fast asleep in her boyfriend’s dark, dorm room at Purdue University. She awakened because she felt her breast being touched, and then… he sexually penetrated her.

Ward knew he was tricking her into thinking he was her boyfriend. He admitted so to the police. He was arrested for rape, He was acquitted on the basis that his conduct was not a crime in Indiana’s laws. To add insult to the already egregious injury he and the jury’s decision caused the victim, the judge expunged his criminal record.

Ward’s attorney, Kirk Freeman, exploited the weakness in Indiana’s laws by defending his client’s conduct and by preening about his behavior; referring to him as “my boy” like a proud papa. His attitude exemplifies the patriarchy that perpetuates rape mentality and continues, unabated, in Indiana.

Indiana’s laws say nothing about the type of sexual assault Ward conducted. Nor do they say anything about the definition of consent. This failure could have, and should have, been corrected in this legislative session. It won’t be. How many additional victims must be raped before Indiana’s legislators see the light?

What does this legislative failure say about safety in Indiana’s colleges and universities?

Personally, if I had a daughter, the very last place I’d send her off to school right now would be Indiana. While Purdue, Notre Dame, and Indiana State enjoy high rankings in educational excellence, I’d be horrified that the Indiana legislature showed gross disregard toward protecting my child, and concerned she could suffer a similar fate…….. with absolutely no accountability or justice. (And BTW- rape can happen to our sons as well as our daughters.) Given a choice, I’d be looking at universities in states where my child would be protected by appropriate laws.

As if this incident at Purdue were not enough to convince me to educate my child elsewhere, Purdue is currently being sued for expelling two students for reporting sexual assaults.

Some other states to consider

The Hon. Mandy Powers Norrell, South Carolina State Representative

The Hon. Mandy Powers Norrell, South Carolina State Representative, is currently undertaking to protect the residents of her state from Ward’s behavior and further incidents of sexual assault. Her bill, H 3829, is pending in her state.

Alabama and Tennessee have existing laws that make Ward’s behavior a crime. Both laws are identified in my most recent book, Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault, which shows the consent provisions from coast to coast, explains why rape by fraud is a crime, and clearly defines how “consent” should be expressed in each and every state across the US and around the world.

What your raped daughter or son could face – for the rest of their lives

No matter what form of rape a person is subjected to, rape never leaves their psyche. Rape invades the most private part of a victim’s being and pollutes even the most remote corner of their mind. It takes a great deal of effort and therapy to  learn to compartmentalize defilement into a part of one’s brain where it no longer interferes with daily functioning.  Even once a survivor makes peace with what happened, they can be plagued with recurring suicidal ideation, depression and interpersonal dysfunction for life.

As a rape survivor, I, and millions of other survivors, have good reason to feel re-victimized by the oversight of Indiana’s legislators. While Donald Ward’s conduct harmed one victim, the legislative decision to ignore HB1584 failed millions of present, past, and future rape victims. Failure to pass this important bill lets the copy-cat out of the bag because it tells sexual predators that there are no consequences for conducting the heinous defilement of rape by fraud or impersonation in Indiana.

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Society and our lawmakers must be clear on what consent really means in order to conquer sexual assault! Please register for this booklet today! Together we can fight sexual assault and make the world a safer place!

Every nickel from the proceeds of this book’s sales will be used to fight for sexual assault laws!

 

 

NIGHTLINE! Tonight! ABC! Joyce Short on Rape by Impersonation Law for Indiana!

Tonight’s broadcast of Nightline, (12:35 AM, Tuesday morning on ABC) is scheduled to cover the new bill that is soon to be submitted in Indiana on Rape by Impersonation. It features Joyce Short, Sally Siegrist, the State Representative who championed the legislative change, and Abigail Finney, the victim in the Donald Grant Ward case that Ms. Short discusses in her TEDx Talk, When YES Means NO – The Truth About Consent.

Ms. Short covers the issue of #CONSENT and #FGKIA in greater depth in her new book, Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault that is currently  available in a pre-release PDF, and will soon be released on Amazon.

Barring that no major news event prevents this episode from airing, you can live tweet Ms. Short @jm_short using hashtag #FGKIA for Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement, the meaning of CONSENT!

OK! Enuff with the Victim Blaming! How to spot a Betrayal Bond

#BetrayalBond is an #addiction

How a Betrayal Bond Works- And boy, do I wish it didn’t!

Emotionally intact people don’t just walk-out on love partners when they’re hurt by them. To onlookers, that behavior can seem very odd. A victim’s choice to remain in a toxic, harmful relationship can result from the chemistry of human bonding.  Continue reading OK! Enuff with the Victim Blaming! How to spot a Betrayal Bond

Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!

Kentucky Derby

I received the following message from a very intelligent Blue Grass State resident (with a PhD.) We’ll call her Pamela.  She discovered she was hitched to a narcissist after a 40 year marriage that produced four children.

People often ask me how long a narcissist can keep up their charade. Continue reading Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!

Good News: New Rape Bill in MA

Massachusetts Representative, Kate Hogan

Middlesex Rep. Kate Hogan submitted a new sexual assault by fraud bill to the MA House of Representatives in January. The House floor debate could take place as early as this Fall. Continue reading Good News: New Rape Bill in MA

Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!

Mario Antoine- locked up for 10 years!

On Friday, 5/12/17, in Kansas City MO, Mario  Antoine, sex scammer, pleaded guilty. Both his and the federal attorney agreed to a sentence of 10 years, as he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and avoided up to 60 years confinement on all charges.

Antoine induced women into sex by claiming to audition them as porn stars. Although he’d admitted to victimizing 10 or more Continue reading Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!

March is Fraud Awareness Month!

#FraudAwarenessMonth

The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, in a CBC News article, stated that only about 10% of romance scams actually get reported to the police. If that’s the case, the losses of $99 million in Canada’s reported romance scam cases actually exceed hundreds of millions! They also calculate the average monetary loss per victim to be approximately $25,000.00. The FBI’s figures in the US top a billion dollars per year!  Continue reading March is Fraud Awareness Month!

What Important Book is NY’s Governor Cuomo Reading?

#GovernorCuomo and #JoyceShort

January 30th. What a day!

Zipping through the Taconic Parkway’s twists and turns, on a crisp, sunny, winter morning, was just the exhilarating start! The best was yet to come!

I was headed to Albany for double duty- to meet Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright‘s new Legislative Director, Cheryl Couser, in order to Continue reading What Important Book is NY’s Governor Cuomo Reading?

Is the “Ice Princess” ignoring a rape case with 30+ victims?

#JillIcenhower passes the buck on #MarioAntoine case
Jill Icenhower, Chief Trial Attorney, SVU, Kansas City MO

MO SVU Prosecutor Jill Icenhower was very specific about why she wasn’t bringing 2nd Degree Rape charges against Mario Antoine, the man who the Federal Prosecutor called a “Serial Rapist,” for the Continue reading Is the “Ice Princess” ignoring a rape case with 30+ victims?

Diana Montford Interview! Today on YouTube

Watch Joyce’s interview with Diana Montford, the world’s first transgender television journalist, about Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!

Pre-register for your copy on this link.

Help Spread the Word: #CombatRomanceScams!

Are you wondering why rape by fraud is a crime?

This video can answer your basic questions and help get Combating Romance Scams launched!

Please help support this effort! Watch the video and pre-register for your copy today!

By doing so, you’ll help put an end to cases like that of William Allen Jordan and Mario Antoine who shamelessly prey on victims for non-consensual sex. This crime harms millions of innocent lives each day. Together, we can make it stop!