Amid shouts of “Hey-hey, ho-ho, Donald Trump has gotta go!” and “Trump is not my President, You’re fired White House resident!” throngs of women, men and children wound our way through the streets of midtown Manhattan yesterday. The sea of hopeful faces marched forward in solidarity with hope for renewed political integrity and equality for all mankind.
While I try to refrain from comparing anyone’s pain to the harm experienced by others, recent political impacts have helped me recognize how struggling through injustice with no possible relief makes people feel invisible. Hearing hate speech and seeing sexual dysfunction from institutions we relied on as the source of decency, cuts deeply into our collective self esteem. It was uplifting to travel together, surrounded by those who embraced morality and humanity, even if only for four hours.
The sight of the Trump Hotel inspired my sense of irony as I invited my favorite New York State Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright, to join me in holding up my poster: CONSENT = #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement. I pray we can see these words indelibly inscribed into the penal code of NY and every state before we march again in 2019!
You can help by calling your legislators to demand that they make it happen! #FGKIA can be the solution for #MeToo, #TimesUp and the gross confusion over sexual assault and sexual harassment that enables sexual predators like Weinstein, Cosby, Moore and Trump to go unpunished. It can end the invisibility that sex crimes create in a world blinded by ignorance!
Call your legislator and say, #FGKIA – Sign it into law today!
To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
We think of Wealth Managers as highly educated, intelligent people. But that preconceived image helps unethical con artists carry out apalling harm!
The “Wealth Manager Scam” is one of the most potent of all extortions taking place through on-line dating! Offenders stir the romantic brain chemistry of their victims with flowers, affection, and talk of love, while plying them for details about their investments. Continue reading The Wealth Manager Romance Scam- Lessons Learned→
The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.
Every time a woman who was raped, and knows of Trump’s abuse of women, sees or hears Donald Trump, they cringe from the feeling that their defilement is of no importance to society. Their only saving grace is that the majority of Americans did not support that grossly indecent man.
How to get past the reminder?
“It’s not the majority” has become the mantra that enables me to get past those reminders that cut deeply into my psyche. And it makes me doubly determined to wake society up to the real meaning of rape!
Ivanna exemplifies misconceptions about rape
Ivanna Trump
Certainly, his wife, Ivanna, didn’t know. She testified under oath that he raped her. But once she’d secured a $15MM settlement to shut her mouth, she claimed “Oh, but it wasn’t “criminal” rape.” She’s not an attorney. She’s not the police. She’s neither the judge nor the jury. She’s the victim whose silence was bought off by a shameless, wealthy man.
Is there such a thing as non-criminal rape?
Every form of rape is CRIMINAL! That includes spousal rape! Whenever consent is lacking in sex, it’s rape, plain and simple! And even the criminal code in NY State, where Ivanna was raped, recognizes that spousal rape is rape, under the law!
If we have learned anything from Trump’s eery, and probably illegitimate, rise to authority, it’s that we must put an end to rape culture in society and expose what rape actually is….. NON-CONSENSUAL SEX! And it does not matter how non-consensual sex takes place….
Whether consent was undermined by:
Force
Drugs
Alcohol
Coercion
Deception
Mental Incapacity
Youth
RAPE IS RAPE!
The Fight to Outlaw Rape & Sex Scam Crimes!
Please join The FORSSC today: The Fight to Outlaw Rape and Sex Scam Crimes! Help curb rape near you and around the world!
The United States is about to become ruled by a political party with a high concentration of people with little or no responsive emotional empathy! And what’s more, because they refuse to give up their intense desire to be the dominant decision makers, they refuse to acknowledge that the man at the helm is severely, and dangerously Character Disordered!
In Kansas City MO, thirty-three year old Mario Antoine is facing 21 federal charges, from cyber-stalking to extortion, for scamming women into sex on the premise that he was a porn videographer and they were auditioning for a part. The FBI handled the investigation, and the Federal Prosecutor was quoted by the Kansas City Star as saying he’s a “serial rapist.” But rape is a state, not a federal crime. Continue reading How to get away with rape in Missouri! The Mario Antoine case→
Jim Brown, an award winning producer and the highly acclaimed host of The 180– CBC’s national radio show to spark conversation on what’s going on in Canada – jumped right in with the important questions ….
“People often tell little white lies to impress a possible partner, At what point do those lies add up to fraud? “
The entire broadcast aired at 11 am (EST) on Sunday morning, 9/11. You can hear it all, and respond with your comments on the PodCast.
Cited as “Draconian but necessary,” a Sexual Harm Prevention Order (SHPO) was recently issued against 44 year old UK electrician, Geoffrey Ball. Ball had been found guilty of sexual offenses toward women and is no longer allowed to have a relationship of any sort with a woman, without express permission by the police.
People who have empathy are capable of unconditional love. That’s the love of forgiveness. Unconditional love affects you at your very core and compels you regardless of how the person looks or behaves.
Tomorrow is Truth in Romance Day! And this is our final installment of the Dust-Off Plan for Recovery from a Romance Scam. This last crucial step should have you well on your way to reclaiming your self-esteem and dignity. We’ll end with the letters “F & F.”
From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll cover the letter “S”.
Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all!
Here’s Step 3……
Seek Counseling or Therapy
You need someone whose advice you can trust! You were drawn to a predator. Recognizing that you should leave the relationship may be difficult for you. Through therapy you may find the strength and path to break off the relationship. You also may need guidance to understand how you became involved with a predator in the first place. Without that knowledge you are likely to make the same mistake again.
If you have parted with the predator already, you may need help to cope with bewildering, overwhelming pain. A therapist who deals with Complex PTSD can help you. A mental health clinic that provides therapy at a reduced rate might fill your need if you can’t afford a private practitioner.
The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy.
From now ’til June 15th, Truth in Romance Day, I’ll identify each crucial step to help romance scam victims reclaim their self-esteem and dignity. Today, we’ll deal with the letter “U”.
Happy healing and happy Truth in Romance Day to all!
Undue pressure is counterproductive to healing!
Understand that healing Is NOT a return to your former self! Every experience we encounter enables us to grow.
Often people who have been damaged believe the end goal is to wash away all remembrance of pain and return to the person they once were, but there is no going back. The expectation of recovering your former self can serve to depress you because it is an unobtainable goal and will be a constant disappointment. Once you can take strength from having lived through your ordeal, you’re on your way toward recovery.
Time and distance will ease your pain. And if you can grieve the loss of your innocence, the loss of the person you were, you can put it behind you. You are wiser now. Employ that wisdom to keep yourself safe from predators in the future.
You will often hear the concept of “forgiveness” used as a means to overcome the effects of wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not mean having to forget what happened or excuse it. Rather, it means accepting that it happened to you. A morally disordered person will not care in the least whether you forgive them or not, so don’t forgive them for their sake, forgive them for yours.
We often keep anger close to our hearts when we have suffered gross injustice. Doing so erodes our own sense of well-being by focusing us on pain and creating hyper-vigilance. We need to refocus ourselves on the good things in our lives in order to make room for joy to find its way back in. It is difficult to put anger aside. It takes considerable practice, but it gets easier in time as life takes on new meanings and the episode you survived fades into your past.
The entire Dust-Off! plan for recovery is included in Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Click the title to purchase your copy.
For those who were victimized by romance scams, the steps to recovery are coming, beginning June 9th. They are straight out of my book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Starting on June 9th, I’ll reveal each step, one by one, and by Truth in Romance Day on June 15th, you’ll know them all and be on your way to restoring your self-esteem!
My son was six years old and attending a private school on the Upper Westside in NYC. His teacher had arranged a little party for the class at lunchtime, and I’d offered to bring cupcakes. They were a mixture of chocolate and vanilla with bright orange butter frosting. I recall every detail because of what happened to me on the way there. Continue reading Is rape by fraud an insult to “real” rape victims?→
Jagdishpur, India- According to The Times of India, the wife of a man identified as Moimuddin, turned-in her husband to the authorities for defrauding another woman for sex. She reported the elicit affair when she learned that her husband had deceived a widow, for two years, into thinking he was eligible and Continue reading Bravo India! Miscarriage without consent!→
Ho Yin (Aaron) Shiu- arrested for indecent assault and rape
A hearing related to a rape case will go before the courts of Massachusetts on April 27th.
Dr. Ho Yin “Aaron” Shiu, a U Mass spine doctor who took a Hippocratic oath to do no harm is on trial for sexually assaulting his 42 year old, female patient. Shiu, a graduate of Rutgers University who practiced at U Mass Hospital and AdCare, was charged in Worcester MA with indecent assault and battery and rape. His attorney’s defense strategy? There was no force; “fraud is not force.” And the victim did not resist. Continue reading Beware NJ! Mass. rape case Dr. has moved to your state!→
