Just in time for Sexual Violence Prevention Month!
I had the recent pleasure of interviewing with Tracy Malone, the creator of Narcissist Abuse Support which provides meaningful information on recovery, as well as support, for hundreds of abuse sufferers.
Our discussion ran the gamut between the actual definition for “consent” to the concrete steps people can take to make the world a safer place.
Amid shouts of “Hey-hey, ho-ho, Donald Trump has gotta go!” and “Trump is not my President, You’re fired White House resident!” throngs of women, men and children wound our way through the streets of midtown Manhattan yesterday. The sea of hopeful faces marched forward in solidarity with hope for renewed political integrity and equality for all mankind.
While I try to refrain from comparing anyone’s pain to the harm experienced by others, recent political impacts have helped me recognize how struggling through injustice with no possible relief makes people feel invisible. Hearing hate speech and seeing sexual dysfunction from institutions we relied on as the source of decency, cuts deeply into our collective self esteem. It was uplifting to travel together, surrounded by those who embraced morality and humanity, even if only for four hours.
The sight of the Trump Hotel inspired my sense of irony as I invited my favorite New York State Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright, to join me in holding up my poster: CONSENT = #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement. I pray we can see these words indelibly inscribed into the penal code of NY and every state before we march again in 2019!
You can help by calling your legislators to demand that they make it happen! #FGKIA can be the solution for #MeToo, #TimesUp and the gross confusion over sexual assault and sexual harassment that enables sexual predators like Weinstein, Cosby, Moore and Trump to go unpunished. It can end the invisibility that sex crimes create in a world blinded by ignorance!
Call your legislator and say, #FGKIA – Sign it into law today!
In Manchester, UK, according to the Guardian,Gayle Newland will hear her fate, for a second time, on July 20th. She posed as a man, Kye Fortune, to seduce a woman through an on-line scam. Ironically, she was also friends with the woman, who knew her as a female, not as her male alter-ego. A second jury returned a guilty verdict on June 29th.
.After all those years of fooling society into thinking he was the perfect father image, allegedly the perfect cover for conducting sexual assault, his cover’s been blown. And like a true Narcissist, he can’t leave well enough alone. He has to be the grand leader…. hence, he’s grandstanding in a new venue: Town Halls.
In courtrooms- narcissists blur the lines between cause and effect!
In any court of law, proof, not truth, is the deciding factor. But when dealing with narcissists and other character disordered offenders, both truth and proof fly out the window.
As we live our lives, we rarely journal each and every daily event. Without concrete evidence of who threw the first punch. – “Was the person the aggressor or simply defending against one?” – it’s hard to prove. And in matters of emotional abuse, where no bruises or scars can help tell the story, the complexity of the problem is intensified. Continue reading A Dozen Tips for Court Prep Against a Narcissist→
The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.
Get out your rock ‘n roll shoes! CMT’s February release of Sun Records, the story of the creation of rock n’ roll, promises to be a big hit for country music fans! For me, however, it’s the story of heinous, callous and personally harmful deceit; a treachery that stole food right out of the mouths of both my child and me, and caused indescribable pain. Continue reading #SunRecords and the Shameful Back-Story of Deceit→
Every time a woman who was raped, and knows of Trump’s abuse of women, sees or hears Donald Trump, they cringe from the feeling that their defilement is of no importance to society. Their only saving grace is that the majority of Americans did not support that grossly indecent man.
How to get past the reminder?
“It’s not the majority” has become the mantra that enables me to get past those reminders that cut deeply into my psyche. And it makes me doubly determined to wake society up to the real meaning of rape!
Ivanna exemplifies misconceptions about rape
Certainly, his wife, Ivanna, didn’t know. She testified under oath that he raped her. But once she’d secured a $15MM settlement to shut her mouth, she claimed “Oh, but it wasn’t “criminal” rape.” She’s not an attorney. She’s not the police. She’s neither the judge nor the jury. She’s the victim whose silence was bought off by a shameless, wealthy man.
Is there such a thing as non-criminal rape?
Every form of rape is CRIMINAL! That includes spousal rape! Whenever consent is lacking in sex, it’s rape, plain and simple! And even the criminal code in NY State, where Ivanna was raped, recognizes that spousal rape is rape, under the law!
If we have learned anything from Trump’s eery, and probably illegitimate, rise to authority, it’s that we must put an end to rape culture in society and expose what rape actually is….. NON-CONSENSUAL SEX! And it does not matter how non-consensual sex takes place….
Whether consent was undermined by:
RAPE IS RAPE!
Please join The FORSSC today: The Fight to Outlaw Rape and Sex Scam Crimes! Help curb rape near you and around the world!
The United States is about to become ruled by a political party with a high concentration of people with little or no responsive emotional empathy! And what’s more, because they refuse to give up their intense desire to be the dominant decision makers, they refuse to acknowledge that the man at the helm is severely, and dangerously Character Disordered!
I just received an important notice from the NYC chapter of NOW.
The cause of NOW’s outrage is the statements made by Commanding Officer, Captain Peter Rose when explaining why only 2 out of 13 recent rape cases were solved. He said: “Some of them were Tinder, some of them were hook-up sites, some of them were actually co-workers. It’s not a trend that we’re too worried about because out of 13, only two were true stranger rapes” Continue reading #NOW Is Outraged at the NYPD!” #TakeRapeSeriously!”→
People who have empathy are capable of unconditional love. That’s the love of forgiveness. Unconditional love affects you at your very core and compels you regardless of how the person looks or behaves.
In order to pull yourself out from a sociopath’s control, and stop feeling the pangs of love that keep drawing you back…… put the emotional empathy that sets you apart from them to work on your behalf! Emotional empathy enables you to relate to the emotions of others. Take a good look at your relationship through their eyes, and you’ll never go back!
I received this comment last night from a person who refers to himself as “Boozer.” I thought it so important that it warranted an actual post.
It demonstrates exactly how and why the crime of SexFraud takes place:
First of all, of course we know we’re having sex with a person. Men are not a bunch of creepy soulless monsters. We’re actual people as well with real feelings Guys get used and summarily dumped too. I’ve had women (only a few, lol) that never got back to me after we had sex. Did I feel bad? Of course, but I never thought they belonged in jail for it, because they don’t.
The word “entitled” is tricky. I don’t think a woman in a bar is entitled to my finances, my workplace or even my last name if I don’t want to give it out. It’s none of her business. I’m not going to share my private info with every girl I talk to on the chance we might leave the bar together later. She’s not entitled to anything of mine and if that’s a problem then she’s entitled to say goodnight anytime she pleases. If I exaggerate or put the best spin on things, she can accept that or not, it’s her choice. I’m not promising her anything except hopefully a good time. It’s 2015, if by now you’re not aware people might lie to you, you shouldn’t be out walking the streets.
Fraud in the legal sense means misrepresenting something to get money or something of value. What of actual value is given or taken during sex? Realistically the thing of most value in the situation is the man’s sperm.
And here is my response to him:
SexFraud isn’t about getting dumped or not calling you back after sex. I have never said that you should divulge every facet of your background when you first meet someone, but before you have sex with them, you should straighten out any lies you’ve told them.
Frankly, you have demonstrated exactly the type of mentality that’s at the heart of the problem and I thank you for being so candid. I think you exemplify a mindset that is pervasive in today’s society, and you don’t even recognize it as a “sexual assault” mentality. It starts by thinking that sex is simply a type of entertainment and an entitlement, not a privilege.
Apparently, your finances are even more “private” to you than your sex organs. You’ll expose them to someone who you barely know. But don’t worry, SexFraud laws won’t prosecute the casual hook-up in which the victim failed to behave reasonably and jumped into bed with you without any inquiry or research.
Some women feel that way as well. For instance, sex workers share their bodies with people all the time with no emotional connection to their private parts. Or so they think until they’re ripped off, like the recent case in Canberra Australia where the offender was convicted of rape by fraud by tricking her into thinking she would get paid. He gave her a bag that was supposed to contain money. It didn’t.
Just because you don’t value intimacy does not mean that other people don’t. In fact, most of moral society would more happily get ripped off for money than have their sex organs violated. One makes you angry. The other makes you defiled.
Fraud is usurping something of value through a lie. Most people actually value their sexual organs and their right to self-determination over who they share them with. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t have any rape laws at all. Violating a person’ sex organs would simply be an assault. It’s not. It’s a sexual assault, rape, sexual battery, sexual misconduct, sexfraud, or whatever name you’d like to associate with it.
Most people have “feelings” about what happens to them. They don’t necessarily “feel” (that’s called “emotional empathy,”) for what happens to others. From what you’ve said, it seems that you lack emotional empathy.
Having feelings for your own condition, but failing to feel for others is a Narcissitc, and possibly Sociopathic mentality. Lots of folks go through the world that way. Society needs to be made aware how prevalent your mentality is. And laws have to be created to protect people you would harm through you failure to stop yourself.
That person whose sexual organs have no value to you, except warm flesh and body fluids, actually lives inside her body. She is someone’s mother, or sister or daughter. And every time I’ve used the word “she” in this post, I’m also referring to the “he’s” that get violated this same way.