Yup… you heard me right!
In order to pull yourself out from a sociopath’s control, and stop feeling the pangs of love that keep drawing you back…… put the emotional empathy that sets you apart from them to work on your behalf! Emotional empathy enables you to relate to the emotions of others. Take a good look at your relationship through their eyes, and you’ll never go back!
Even once you know you were duped by a pathologically indecent, lying sociopath, the brain chemistry of love,….. dopamine, oestrogen, vassopresin, serotonin, oxytocin, etc., can keep drawing you under their spell. You continue to wonder whether or not you were loved, after all, it felt so real. “Isn’t that wonderful person who cared so much about me still inside them somewhere?” That’s your brain chemistry speaking, not reality!
They were so affectionate, so caring!
They made you feel on top of the world, that is, until it all came crashing down. But even then, you see-sawed back and forth, loving and hating them at the same time. And because love, for you, is a strong emotion, fueled by your brain chemistry, you continue feeling bewilderment and longing as you ruminate about what you could have or should have done differently to make it work. Well, here’s how to stop….
When you see your relationship through their eyes, you’ll stop being fooled
All that time you thought they were 43, they knew they were really 55. It wasn’t a mistake. They got off on your belief that they were 12 years younger than they actually were. Imagine what that felt like to them. They controlled your impression. They had beaten the aging process. They had found the fountain of youth…. tricking a trusting mate. They knew your impression of them was entirely contrived, but they didn’t care a lick! They wanted the adoration, sex, assets…. whatever, that you would bestow on that younger person, not them.
When they brought you flowers while pretending to have a Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering, all the while knowing they were really a high school dropout, it wasn’t a mistake either. A person who couldn’t get through basic education got that degree without doing the work. In their way of thinking, “Why waste time getting an education when I can simply deceive people about it! Only fools spend the time, energy and money to actually educate themselves.”
As you melted into their impassioned embrace, surrendering your body to their whispered seduction about your being their “so, so special, one and only true love,” they knew they needed to pick up the bottle of milk their wife asked them for on their way home. What a great job they did getting you to fork over the goods! For them, they became the master of your universe, and they loved every second of it, but they didn’t love you.
Living in reality
So while you remember the blissful moments of your relationship, and it keeps you stuck in “loving mode” toward them, try focusing on the reality of what was really going on in their mind, and you’ll see an entirely different story; one that will categorically change your mind-set toward who they actually are and enable you to break the ties that bind you to them.
Focus on their factual, not pretended character. Keep in mind how they perceived your relationship. Stay far away from their attempts to stir up the dying embers. Let the flames burn themselves out as you recover your life.
4 thoughts on “Need to escape a sociopath’s grip? See yourself through their eyes!”
My mother has ruined my life, literally She’s lied to police judges about the whole thing. I don’t really remember my child hood because she kept me medicated. I’m 48 and she’s literally given me a death sentence by convincing law enforcement I’m crazy and a danger to society.
It’s so crazy no one believes me. I feel like I’ve been raised by Satan, she’s so evil. She’s such a liar. The vessel that brought me into this world has been trying to take me out. I never met such evil.
It is the behaviour that gives them away, not their sweeping words.
They will tell you that you brought out the behaviour and that they never acted like this before (all sociopaths claim that their partner or certain circumstances in life drove them to act antisocial).
Don’t believe it…this is just the diversion game they are playing to escape responsibility and to drive you crazy.
Look at their actions: this is who they truly are.
The person they pretend to be does not exist.
It is sad but true.
Amen to that! There’s a difference between adaptive behavior and gas lighting. Sociopaths blur the lines in order to blame and escape responsibility.
Awesome post Joyce.
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