Today, January 17, 2019, marks a day I’ve long awaited! The very first meaningful rape by fraud/deception/impersonation bill was introduced to Indiana’s House of Representatives this morning. HB 1584 was identified in a condensed reading by House Speaker Brian C. Bosna. It was authored by Rep. Donna Schaibley and supported by former Indiana State Representative, Sally Siegrist. Continue reading Indiana Launches Effort to Criminalize Rape by Deception!
Bravo to Abby Finney for her bravery and to the staff at Nightline for presenting a balanced view of the issues! Here’s the Nightline Link
How a Betrayal Bond Works- And boy, do I wish it didn’t!
Emotionally intact people don’t just walk-out on love partners when they’re hurt by them. To onlookers, that behavior can seem very odd. A victim’s choice to remain in a toxic, harmful relationship can result from the chemistry of human bonding. Continue reading OK! Enuff with the Victim Blaming! How to spot a Betrayal Bond
While the Longhorn State is long on “consent” definitions, they apply to theft but not sexual assault.
Texas legislators make the same outrageous mistake other legislators make. They act as if the meaning of the word changes Continue reading Texas Needs a “Consent” Overhaul!
Without the recognition of “consent” and its impact in sex, often nay-sayers ridicule survivors who suffered non-violent forms of sexual assault.
I received this message today from a brave woman I’ll call Sofia, in order to protect her identity. What follows are her words:
“I’m so grateful to have found your talk on Ted Talks. You share my history & spoke my story.
I was sexually abused by a family member at 12, forcibly raped by a so called boyfriend at 14, but the worst of all for me was in the form Continue reading Sofia’s Story- Violent vs. Non-Violent Sexual Assault
Today, WISH-TV in Indiana featured a new rape bill, the first of its kind for the state, and soon to be law, if IN State Rep. Sally Siegrist gets her way!
Siegrist’s efforts are the direct result of the acquittal of Donald Ward, a Purdue University student who slipped into bed with a Continue reading New Rape Law for Indiana?
On June 19th, just short of a month after my TEDx Talk at TEDxYouth@UrsulineAcademy, a sexual assault victim filed civil charges that underscore why Delaware needs to define consent in their laws. The victim alleges that Psychotherapist Sachin J. Karnik deceived her into sexual conduct. Continue reading Delaware Fails to Prosecute Alleged Sex Offender
Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward, was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing! Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!
To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
I sure hope it is. Stay tuned!
You can help by reading Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! and calling your legislators to demand #FGKIA law.
Today, Amanda Marcotte at Salon ran a valuable piece on the conservative attempt to trash the #MeToo movement. I agree; it’s coming!
Instead of being appalled at the vast quantity of complaints, and recognizing how wide-spread sexual assault and sexual harassment actually are, they are misusing “quantity” to obfuscate and diminish reality. In their convoluted interpretation, the larger and more exposed the problem gets, the less it can be believed. Nothing is further from the truth. Their rationale simply reveals how corrupted their values truly are.
There are people who, as a result of their DNA and their developmental issues, lack the brain chemistry that produces appropriate caring for their fellow man and makes them me-centric. They are unable to grasp why they have no right to impose their sexual desires on another. They look at others as objects of their desires, not human beings deserving of respect. There are a lot of them. And they carry out their assaults, victim after victim, which is why so many people have been harmed.
This objectifying of victims, mostly women, will not stop by exposure alone. There needs to be teeth in the laws that guide behavior. Without it, evil people will simply continue to harm others. There must be penal code that prevents them from doing so. We do not have it.
Although the ItsOnUs Pledge states clearly “Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault,” this language has NOT been enacted into the penal code of any state. And if it were, it would still require correctly defining the meaning of consent- freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA, into law. Without doing so, sexual assault will continue. Adopting these two important statements into law will stop rape mentality!
Call your legislator! Turn them into law, today!
When the cause of pain is a sex crime, victims are frequently invalidated by people they count on for support! Reaching out for help can make the victim feel like they’re choking on the turmoil they lived through! Having to justify painful feelings while being discredited heaps pain on top of pain and can cause deep depression! When the weapon that undermined their sexual consent was fraud, invalidation by family and friends is all too typical and common.
A woman I’ll call Laurie contacted me recently for help. She’d been violated by a sexual sadist who got off on hurting her during sex. He’d built up her image of a lasting, loving Continue reading Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale
Sexual defilement shakes a person at their very core! It can drive a person to commit suicide or murder!
I was contacted this week by the mother of a man who killed a transgender woman. I’m not being specific because this case and efforts to mitigate her son’s sentence are in the works. I would not want anything coming out of my mouth or from my pen to do any harm to this case.
Because many transgenders think their sex shouldn’t matter in sex…….. (please explain that absurdity to me!!) society seems to be Continue reading Victim or villain? Transgender Deceit!
The right to sexually exploit another human being seems perfectly natural to much of society…. even the police! And even people at the very top of the police force can be the culprits!
Isreal’s Police Maj. General Roni Rittman, who currently heads the corruption probes underway against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, was charged with kissing a female officer without her Continue reading Little Wonder Police Rarely Charge for Sexual Assault!
In Manchester, UK, according to the Guardian, Gayle Newland will hear her fate, for a second time, on July 20th. She posed as a man, Kye Fortune, to seduce a woman through an on-line scam. Ironically, she was also friends with the woman, who knew her as a female, not as her male alter-ego. A second jury returned a guilty verdict on June 29th.
I received the following message from a very intelligent Blue Grass State resident (with a PhD.) We’ll call her Pamela. She discovered she was hitched to a narcissist after a 40 year marriage that produced four children.
People often ask me how long a narcissist can keep up their charade. Continue reading Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!
On Friday, 5/12/17, in Kansas City MO, Mario Antoine, sex scammer, pleaded guilty. Both his and the federal attorney agreed to a sentence of 10 years, as he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and avoided up to 60 years confinement on all charges.
Antoine induced women into sex by claiming to audition them as porn stars. Although he’d admitted to victimizing 10 or more Continue reading Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!
Recent news coverage casts a huge light on “Stealthing;” stripping off the condom during intercourse, without the partner’s consent.
From the Huffington Post to Fox News and beyond, articles are popping up across the media landscape, and all exemplify why broadcasting the actual meaning of “consent” is so vital! Continue reading #Stealthing Lacks Consent!
We think of Wealth Managers as highly educated, intelligent people. But that preconceived image helps unethical con artists carry out apalling harm!
The “Wealth Manager Scam” is one of the most potent of all extortions taking place through on-line dating! Offenders stir the romantic brain chemistry of their victims with flowers, affection, and talk of love, while plying them for details about their investments. Continue reading The Wealth Manager Romance Scam- Lessons Learned
The FBI tells us that Romance Scams are the most common form of fraud in today’s society. And I don’t use the word “fraud” loosely. As most of you who’ve read my material know, lies only constitute a crime when the victim suffers harm. ‘Til then, lies are just lies.
When the offender crosses that line in the sand that constitutes injury to the other party, they are actually committing a crime. Their Continue reading The 3 Primary Motives Behind Romance Scams, and why it’s so hard to get justice
January 30th. What a day!
Zipping through the Taconic Parkway’s twists and turns, on a crisp, sunny, winter morning, was just the exhilarating start! The best was yet to come!
I was headed to Albany for double duty- to meet Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright‘s new Legislative Director, Cheryl Couser, in order to Continue reading What Important Book is NY’s Governor Cuomo Reading?