It’s little wonder that Alaska State Representative Geran Tarr is focused on defining CONSENT for her state’s Penal Code. Alaska has the highest ratio of rape from coast to coast; close to 3 times the national average!
On October 10th, Rep. Tarr hosted an open conversation on CONSENT which included representatives from STAR, the Consent Continue reading Alaska Law Maker Tackles CONSENT #IWillCodifyConsent
#FreeDivorce! Wouldn’t it be great if we could simply get divorced by signing the judge’s name to our divorce decree? What a tumultuous burden would be lifted off our shoulders!
No more haggling about custody issues or child support….. Who gets the dog, the car, the beach house? Say nothing about the outrageous legal bill! But instead, couples tear each other apart through weeks, Continue reading FREE Divorce! How some insidious people do it!
In the US, states often attempt to define the word “consent” by what it’s not instead of what it is. And our system of justice ironically changes “consent” depending on what you’re consenting to.
Regardless what antiquated, inaccurate penal code tells you, whether consent is applied to cyber security, theft, medical treatment, research experiments, sexual assault, etc., consent is always the same….. #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement.
It’s high time our legislators pull their heads out of the sand and get it right!
Why is defining something by what it’s not a bizarre approach?
The list of what it’s not is infinity minus what it is. So making claims about what it’s not is a backwards way to look at a definition.
Don’t mean to be insulting, just trying to make a point…. Here are some of the things consent is not:
On what planet is defining “what it’s not” the same as defining “what it is?” And even when you add the caveat that what it’s not is “not limited to the following,” you can bet that law enforcement, prosecutors, judges and juries, will apply the oldest legal doctrine, Nulla peona sine lege – “What is not expressly prohibited by law is permissible,” on a case by case basis.
At least Montana gets it right by doing it backwards
Montana’s statute #45-5-501(1)(a), applies all the Model Penal Code “Consent Provision” elements of “force, duress (coercion,) and deception, which is consistent with the definition of consent; #FGKIA, Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement. In Montana, you can’t secure consent by deception, coercion, or surprise. Problem is that Montana still blames victims with their “words and overt actions” statement. they could sum up all 26 lines of what consent is not with one simple line… “Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement.”
If your legislators bury their heads in the sand to pretend they don’t see that consent is freely given knowledgeable and informed agreement, point them to my TEDx Talk, GDPR, Nuremberg Code, Model Penal Code and Montana’s Law.
But even Montana can benefit by adding the clarification that consent is “freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement” to its statutes to make the meaning of consent crystal clear.
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You can help!
Donate to ConsentAwareness.Net
Watch this TEDxTalk
Read Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault
Call your legislator and demand change!
He was the man of her dreams…. a tall, dark, outrageously handsome, charismatic, intelligent nightmare!
Back in the early 1970’s, there was no literature or common knowledge about covert psychopaths. No one warned that sexual predators would and could underhandedly con you without giving off the slightest glimmer of suspicion.
The fact that they have no conscience or remorse and can rip your heart and your life to shreds without batting an eye was virtually unheard of.
Earlier than the internet, and prior to Catfish becoming the popular name for romance scammers, romantic deception was virtually unknown. And the possibility of “rape by fraud” was never discussed.
Before #MeToo and #TimesUp placed sexual assault at the forefront of media, this book opened the conversation about the actual meaning of consent. Its connection to the power brokers behind Elvis Presley is shocking.
If this unscrupulous crime happened to you, Carnal Abuse by Deceit will help you find the words to reclaim your power! It will help you rebuff all the nay-sayers that try to invalidate, trivialize, and shame you for being victimized by a defiling crime they simply don’t understand or acknowledge……. until it happens to them.
Carnal Abuse by Deceit is available in Paperback or Kindle and all E-Formats
Watch #SeedOfDoubt on ABC’s 20/20 tomorrow night, 10/9c, to see yet another way the laws of Texas denies justice to its residents!
Be sure to watch this compelling story, and contact your legislators to demand that “fraud” be an element of sexual assault in your state!
20/20’s episode shows how a young woman who came to life as the product of artificial insemination, believed her father was donor #106, and they enjoyed a close father/daughter bond….. except….he wasn’t really her father.
Consent is the critical key that should separate lawful contact with a victim’s reproductive organs from unlawful contact. Yet in Texas, sexual assault law does not protect against a fertility doctor swapping sperm to implant his patient…. a decidedly vicious sexual assault by fraud.
Consent is not simply agreement.
Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA.
Unless and until Texas Penal Code applies consent appropriately and states that all conduct involving a person’s reproductive system – that lacks consent – is a crime, criminal behavior such as this will continue to fall through legal loopholes.
Swapping sperm violates victims on several fronts:
The laws of Texas are upon you, or, at least, they should be
In Texas, “consent” is ignored where rape and sexual assault is concerned. In several efforts to report rapes to various precincts, police officers, and even a Sergeant, recently told victims, “Consent is not an element of rape in Texas.”
Violating consent is clear when someone steals property…. but the same consent provision that protects property is not applied in protecting a person’s sexual autonomy. Instead, the legislators of Texas have chosen specific acts of sexual assault to prosecute… a system consistent with using an umbrella made of Swiss cheese to protect against a storm.
Texas should take a cue from Missouri or from my TEDx Talk!
Unlike Texas where fraud only protects against theft and not sexual assault, Missouri’s Rape in the 2nd Degree statute clearly states: “Assent is not consent when induced by force, duress or deception,” While Missouri expresses when consent does not take place, my TEDx Talk, “When YES Means NO – The Truth about Consent,” clearly defines what consent actually is – Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement. #FGKIA!
Did the patient freely give the doctor knowledgeable and informed agreement? There’s no Swiss cheese when #FGKIA is applied. It’s an all-encompassing umbrella!
Continue reading Texas Rape Law Ignores a Vicious Form of Fraud – And so do most states!
Today, January 17, 2019, marks a day I’ve long awaited! The very first meaningful rape by fraud/deception/impersonation bill was introduced to Indiana’s House of Representatives this morning. HB 1584 was identified in a condensed reading by House Speaker Brian C. Bosna. It was authored by Rep. Donna Schaibley and supported by former Indiana State Representative, Sally Siegrist. Continue reading Indiana Launches Effort to Criminalize Rape by Deception!
Bravo to Abby Finney for her bravery and to the staff at Nightline for presenting a balanced view of the issues! Here’s the Nightline Link
How a Betrayal Bond Works- And boy, do I wish it didn’t!
Emotionally intact people don’t just walk-out on love partners when they’re hurt by them. To onlookers, that behavior can seem very odd. A victim’s choice to remain in a toxic, harmful relationship can result from the chemistry of human bonding. Continue reading OK! Enuff with the Victim Blaming! How to spot a Betrayal Bond
Thanks to Maureen Harrison for pointing out the penal code conundrum in Texas.
While the Longhorn State is long on “consent” definitions, they apply to theft but not sexual assault.
Texas legislators make the same outrageous mistake other legislators make. They act as if the meaning of the word changes Continue reading Texas Needs a “Consent” Overhaul!
Without the recognition of “consent” and its impact in sex, often nay-sayers ridicule survivors who suffered non-violent forms of sexual assault.
I received this message today from a brave woman I’ll call Sofia, in order to protect her identity. What follows are her words:
“I’m so grateful to have found your talk on Ted Talks. You share my history & spoke my story.
I was sexually abused by a family member at 12, forcibly raped by a so called boyfriend at 14, but the worst of all for me was in the form Continue reading Sofia’s Story- Violent vs. Non-Violent Sexual Assault
Today, WISH-TV in Indiana featured a new rape bill, the first of its kind for the state, and soon to be law, if IN State Rep. Sally Siegrist gets her way!
Siegrist’s efforts are the direct result of the acquittal of Donald Ward, a Purdue University student who slipped into bed with a Continue reading New Rape Law for Indiana?
On June 19th, just short of a month after my TEDx Talk at TEDxYouth@UrsulineAcademy, a sexual assault victim filed civil charges that underscore why Delaware needs to define consent in their laws. The victim alleges that Psychotherapist Sachin J. Karnik deceived her into sexual conduct. Continue reading Delaware Fails to Prosecute Alleged Sex Offender
Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward, was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing! Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!
To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
I sure hope it is. Stay tuned!
You can help by reading Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! and calling your legislators to demand #FGKIA law.
Today, Amanda Marcotte at Salon ran a valuable piece on the conservative attempt to trash the #MeToo movement. I agree; it’s coming!
Instead of being appalled at the vast quantity of complaints, and recognizing how wide-spread sexual assault and sexual harassment actually are, they are misusing “quantity” to obfuscate and diminish reality. In their convoluted interpretation, the larger and more exposed the problem gets, the less it can be believed. Nothing is further from the truth. Their rationale simply reveals how corrupted their values truly are.
I wrote a response to the Salon article. Please give it a “like” in the comment section for Salon.
There are people who, as a result of their DNA and their developmental issues, lack the brain chemistry that produces appropriate caring for their fellow man and makes them me-centric. They are unable to grasp why they have no right to impose their sexual desires on another. They look at others as objects of their desires, not human beings deserving of respect. There are a lot of them. And they carry out their assaults, victim after victim, which is why so many people have been harmed.
This objectifying of victims, mostly women, will not stop by exposure alone. There needs to be teeth in the laws that guide behavior. Without it, evil people will simply continue to harm others. There must be penal code that prevents them from doing so. We do not have it.
Although the ItsOnUs Pledge states clearly “Non-consensual sex is a sexual assault,” this language has NOT been enacted into the penal code of any state. And if it were, it would still require correctly defining the meaning of consent- freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA, into law. Without doing so, sexual assault will continue. Adopting these two important statements into law will stop rape mentality!
Call your legislator! Turn them into law, today!
#FGKIA
When the cause of pain is a sex crime, victims are frequently invalidated by people they count on for support! Reaching out for help can make the victim feel like they’re choking on the turmoil they lived through! Having to justify painful feelings while being discredited heaps pain on top of pain and can cause deep depression! When the weapon that undermined their sexual consent was fraud, invalidation by family and friends is all too typical and common.
A woman I’ll call Laurie contacted me recently for help. She’d been violated by a sexual sadist who got off on hurting her during sex. He’d built up her image of a lasting, loving Continue reading Invalidation and Shame in Sex Crimes! Laurie’s Tale
The right to sexually exploit another human being seems perfectly natural to much of society…. even the police! And even people at the very top of the police force can be the culprits!
Isreal’s Police Maj. General Roni Rittman, who currently heads the corruption probes underway against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, was charged with kissing a female officer without her Continue reading Little Wonder Police Rarely Charge for Sexual Assault!
In Manchester, UK, according to the Guardian, Gayle Newland will hear her fate, for a second time, on July 20th. She posed as a man, Kye Fortune, to seduce a woman through an on-line scam. Ironically, she was also friends with the woman, who knew her as a female, not as her male alter-ego. A second jury returned a guilty verdict on June 29th.
Continue reading Gayle Newland- Why sentencing is so important!
I received the following message from a very intelligent Blue Grass State resident (with a PhD.) We’ll call her Pamela. She discovered she was hitched to a narcissist after a 40 year marriage that produced four children.
People often ask me how long a narcissist can keep up their charade. Continue reading Kentucky: The Grass Is Not All That’s Blue!
On Friday, 5/12/17, in Kansas City MO, Mario Antoine, sex scammer, pleaded guilty. Both his and the federal attorney agreed to a sentence of 10 years, as he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and avoided up to 60 years confinement on all charges.
Antoine induced women into sex by claiming to audition them as porn stars. Although he’d admitted to victimizing 10 or more Continue reading Convicted! Mario Antoine- Sex Scammer!
