Tag Archives: #Rape

Steve Humanick Hearing Tomorrow

Steve Humanick, Stone Harbor, NJ

Not a police officer, Steve Humanick of Stone Harbor, New Jersey, is on trial tomorrow in Doylestown, PA, for a restraining order against a woman he was dating. Previous police actions Continue reading Steve Humanick Hearing Tomorrow

Tulipan Argentina’s New Condom Packaging Adds to CONSENT Confusion

Embedded video

Tulipan, an Argentine condom manufacturer, created new packaging to promote the “No Means No” concept of consent. Their box requires four hands to open. But this packaging fails to recognize that someone can be forced, coerced or deceived into cooperating. And when that happens, CONSENT is not present no matter how many hands have stirred this pot!

Less than 15% of Argentine men are estimated to actually use condoms. Never-the-less, this version of consent confusion intensifies the mischaracterization of consent as agreement by any means.  While “No” always means “No,” “Yes” only means “yes” when it is “freely given, knowledgeable and informed.  #FGKIA!”

Just like a Marlboro cigarette box is required to display a warning, Tulipan’s boxes should bear this notice:

“Regardless of how many hands open this box, consent is not present if either party has been forced, coerced or deceived to secure their agreement to sexual conduct.”

Why Federal Sex Trafficking Law but no Federal Sexual Assault Law?

 

The Thinker by Auguste Rodin

Rodin’s figure of The Thinker was originally cast for his design of “The Gates of Hell,” the entrance way to a museum that was never built. It’s planned use seems analogous to the harm all rape victims endure, regardless of how they were raped. And it’s high time all of society rethinks what constitutes sex vs. what constitutes sexual assault!

Laws set the stage for moral reasoning and should apply to all things, equally Continue reading Why Federal Sex Trafficking Law but no Federal Sexual Assault Law?

“Your Consent” New Book- Released Today to Conquer Sexual Assault!

 

On Amazon – https://amzn.to/2S9ZUJu

Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault launched on Amazon today! It’s ranked #1 in New Releases – Law Dictionaries and Terminology!

Knowing what I do about sexual assault, that our laws really don’t define “consent” correctly, it pains me to see all the misguided efforts by intelligent, serious minded people who try to come to grips with the rampant volume of sexual assault. There really is one, and only one, necessary solution…. correctly defining consent in our laws, and creating a fully encompassing sexual assault provision to sync with that definition.

Without taking this critical step, sexual assault will never be defeated! Instead, we’re simply sticking a band aid over an amputation. #MeToo has highlighted the problem but too many sexual assaults are falling through the cracks in legal loopholes or being termed “confusion” or “bad sex,” by an unknowing society.

How terrible are our current laws?

My ConsentAwareness.Net friends who are fighting to change the laws in Texas know only too well how absurd the current laws are in their state. They’ve been to five precincts in the last couple of weeks. Even though Texas has a reasonably clear definition, it is only used to thwart thieves, not rapists. In fact, in the specific words of a precinct Sergeant in Ft. Worth…. “Sexual assault is not defined by consent in Texas.” If you think your state is better at recognizing sexual assault, think again!

Curbing crime takes both definitions and provisions

To fight sexual assault, we need new language that identifies what consent actually means…… “Freely Given, Knowledgeable, and Informed Agreement.” And each state or territory needs a statute that unequivocally states, “Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault.”

Penal Code definitions AND provisions need to work in unison in order to make sense. Having one without the other is an ineffective non-starter.

The solution’s not rocket science. It’s plain and simple. It’s been ignored for centuries because our laws reflected the concepts that women, the largest share of sexual assault victims, were chattel. Their virtue was a commodity owned by someone other than them. What happened to them, as second class citizens, was irrelevant. Because few actually examined our laws and researched the misconceptions that enables rape in our present society, nothing substantive has been done about it.

I’ve researched our laws….It’s time for a change!

Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault conveys the issues in plain language. Whether you’re a legislator, an educator, a judge, juror, or simply a concerned person, you can easily understand the message it conveys. This book can make a world of difference, and YOU can help make that happen!

  • Please get your copy today!

  • Please provide a comment and a rating!

  • Please help this work get noticed by the mainstream. It costs less than lunch money and can make the world safer for you, your children, and your children’s children.

Thank you!

Hmmm- Where’s my prize for World Poetry Day?

Joyce Short delivering My Consent at TEDx Talk

Got this blast this morning from The NY Times.

It’s Thursday — and it is World Poetry DayEnjoy these recommendations from David Orr, who writes the On Poetry column for the Book Review.

 

Guess Mr. Orr doesn’t include poems from TEDx Talks on his list of best poetry for 2018 because my poem was peculiarly missing.  (Please read that as an effort toward humor.)

But really, in honor of World Poetry Day, and to refresh minds about the gravity of sexual assault….. I repeat it here:

MY CONSENT

My body’s not a token, not a prize.

Don’t defile me with coercion, force, or lies.

My body’s not yours to take; it’s mine to give.

My body’s not your entitlement; it’s where I live!

 

Don’t think consent’s a privilege; it’s a must,

No matter how intensely you feel lust.

F-G-K-I-A, Keep your rape mentality away.

F-G-K-I-A, Sign it into law today,

Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement!

 

Watch my TEDx Talk and call your legislator. Use your voice to make the world a safer place!

 

Speaking at Church of the Advent Hope- 3/23

Church of the Advent Hope

Will you be in NYC on March 23rd? If so, you’ll receive a warm welcome at the Church of the Advent Hope when I address the congregation on:

What does CONSENT really mean? 

 

As all who read this Web Page know, “Consent” is the crucial weapon in the war on sexual assault! Come help spread the word and find out what you can do to create a society of consent-aware children, our best hope for a safer future.

Address: 111 East 87th street

Time: 2 PM

Consent – Assent – Acquiescence: What’s the dif?

#CAD or #CarnalAbuse #FGKIA #RapebyFraud

It took me 4 years to write my first book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit. I published it in 2013. That means I began the process of trying to straighten out society’s understanding and laws on rape ten years ago. In those ten years, I’ve probably seen every definition of assent, acquiescence and consent that exists in the English language, right, wrong, and in between.

And I’ve recognized that society has a knee jerk reaction to considering non-violent sexual assaults as “rape.” I’ve learned not to split hairs over semantics; particularly because sexual assaults that are non-violent should be considered a lesser offense than violent sexual assaults. But all sexual assaults, whether violent or non-violent, should be covered by penal code because every victim who is sexually assaulted is defiled, whether or not violence was used against them.

Assent:

Except for the misunderstandings that lump assent, consent, and acquiescence all together as synonyms – which they’re not – you’ll see that assent is a superficial type of agreement. Anyone who nods their head and says “yes” is assenting.

In 1946, an American military tribunal conducted military, criminal proceedings against 23 German medical professionals for their crimes against the human race. They had cooperated in or conducted ghoulish experiments using live humans during World War II. The Nuremberg trials, as they were known, gave voice to Nuremberg Code which guides medical experiments throughout the US. Nuremberg Code identifies that even a child, who has not yet reached the age of reason, can assent. Simply saying “yes” is assenting,

Nuremberg Code also tells us that saying yes when you have all the facts, are capable of reason, and are not being pressured, is “consenting.” Nuremberg Code requires the subject of a medical experiment to “consent.” If that subject is a child, their agreement could only be considered as “assent.” In order to conduct such an experiment, the child would have to sign an “assent” form. The parent or legal guardian would sign a “consent” form.

Acquiesce

Alleged sexual predator Harvey Weinstein heads for court

When a person acquiesces, they are assenting. But not everyone who assents is acquiescing. They could be agreeing but not because of fear. Acquiescence is agreement under duress, (fear/pressure.) You could also say that acquiescing is assenting under duress. But as Nuremberg Code points out, a person who consents must do so of their own free will. So a person who is pressured by fear to assent is not consenting. They are acquiescing.

Deception:

In legal discussion regarding contracts, your assent can be nullified if the basic facts by which you assented were misrepresented (fraud). Although you agreed on the face of the information you were given, your assent is vitiated. Since you were not knowledgeable and informed, although you assented, you did not consent.

Why are these differences important? 

We need for society to understand the difference between various types of agreement in crystal clear, simple terms. Our law makers are clear that we need “consent” to engage in sex. But they are clear as mud, and frequently incorrect, about what consent actually is.

In practice, from coast to coast, what is not expressly prohibited under the law is permissible: therefore, until we express that “nonconsensual sex is sexual assault, and consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement” in our laws, all instances in which a specific defiling act takes place without a specific penal code prohibition, that conduct cannot be prosecuted.

Several states say your “words and overt actions” are consent. Nope, if your words and overt actions result from force, duress, or deception, they are absolutely not consent. “No” means no, but “yes” only means  yes when it’s not induced by force, duress, or deception. Only in rare cases do our laws uphold this principle.

As I’ve struggled with the process of motivating legislators to deal with this issue, I’ve seen that their interest in ignoring deception is deliberate. It’s far too consistent to be otherwise. Model Penal Code’s description, “Consent is ineffective if induced by force, duress or deception,” is too widely known for the omission of deception to be seen as simply an oversight or not relevant.

Our law makers have been truly callous to the harm a person suffers when they are tricked into sex, and they envision that these cases will “clog up our courts.” The fact that the victim’s self determination over their reproductive organs has been violated is irrelevant to them.  The end result; however, is that their failure to identify what consent really means feeds the rape mentality that harms sexual assault victims all across the spectrum.

What can be done about it?

#MeToo and #TimesUp have identified that sexual assault is rampant, but even their efforts fail to reach to the core of the problem. Correctly defining consent in our laws would guide behavior and hold sexual predators, who prey on people for sexual contact in a myriad of ways, accountable.

Very few states correctly identify the relationship between assent and consent. Missouri is one of them.  Missouri. 556.061 (14) states: “Assent does not constitute consent if (c.) It is induced by force, duress or deception.”

Why not? Because consent is freely given (not forced or coerced (duress)), knowledgeable and informed (not deceived) agreement. #FGKIA!

Yet when it came to prosecuting Mario Antoine, who tricked over 30 victims into sex, the SVU Prosecutor in Kansas City MO, Jill Icenhower, failed to prosecute.

Here’s Nuremberg Code:

“The person involved should have legal capacity to give consent; should be so situated as to be able to exercise free power of choice without the intervention of any element of force, fraud, deceit, duress, over-reaching, or other ulterior form of constraint or coercion; and should have sufficient knowledge as to enable him (or her) to make an understanding and enlightened decision.

The solution:

The solution for holding all sexual assault offenders accountable is for our laws to recognize that all –

Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault – and

Consent is Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement – #FGKIA!

This isn’t rocket science. It’s just plain common sense! Call your legislator and demand that they enact this new, consent-based language to prohibit all forms of sexual assault into the laws of your state, today!

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Help to adopt appropriate laws to conquer sexual assault today! Read Your Consent and send it to your legislators.

Demand change! 

Anti “Rape Justice” Is Law- And the reason we have so much sexual assault

Thomas Jefferson, President and father of 5 children with slave, and sister to his wife, Sally Hemmings

RAINN tells us that sexual assault happens every 98 seconds, and it happens to a child every 11 minutes.

Anti “rape justice” language and attitudes are embedded in our laws. It’s been with us century after century because sexually amoral law makers deliberately and callously made it this way – Here’s a list of known federal leaders with horribly flawed ethics whose mentality shaped, and shapes, our laws. Here’s a list of state and local officials who have done the same.

Present day law makers have either inherited their rape mentality or see no political advantage in changing it. Some simply don’t want to buck heads with constituents who could provide them with votes and backing, and whose sadistic sense of entitlement hides behind claims like:

  • “Government should not interfere with private, personal conduct,”
  • “Changing the laws would turn justice for sexual assault into a slippery slope,”
  • “Minorities are unfairly treated so we shouldn’t recognize and prevent more crimes.”
  1. Protecting its citizens is absolutely the most critical responsibility of government, and particularly, when a crime is so abhorrent that it undermines a victim’s psyche for a lifetime. It is absolutely essential for government to step up!
  2. The minefield of seeking conviction does not prevent us from recognizing when crimes such as extortion, murder and stealing occurs. It should not prevent us from recognizing when a victim is sexually assaulted. We need laws to define that all nonconsensual sexual conduct is a sexual assault, and that consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA, in order to protect against sexual assault. Laws that are common in several states claim that a victim’s “words and actions” constitutes consent. Nothing could be further from the truth when those words and actions are induced by force, duress or deception. Yet in the following states, your words and actions could enable a sexual predator to escape conviction: California, Colorado, DC, Minnesota, Montana, New York, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin
  3. Our justice system needs an overhaul. No one should be treated more harshly because of their ethnic background or the color of their skin. Failing to recognize when someone is raped is not the means by which we can address the injustice in our justice system.

Immorality starts at the top!

Century after century, men have governed our country who were embroiled in sex scandals. Several gave birth to offspring with slaves. In fact, Thomas Jefferson’s mistress was the enslaved sister of his wife.

  • Thomas Jefferson
  • Andrew Jackson
  • William Henry Harrison
  • John Tyler
  • James Garfield
  • Grover Cleveland
  • Warren Harding
  • Franklin Delano Roosevelt
  • Dwight Eisenhower
  • John F. Kennedy
  • Lyndon Johnson
  • George H W Bush
  • Bill Clinton
  • George W Bush
  • Donald Trump

Donald Trump, whose wife voiced serious violent rape accusations against him, and whose corrupt lawyer, Michael Cohen, defended his actions by incorrectly stating, “You can’t rape your wife,” sits at the helm of our government today. Is it any wonder that we have an uphill battle to stop rape in our lifetime?

You can help bring about change!

Watch this TEDx Talk and get your copy of Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault. Share these links with everyone you know! Demand your legislators change our laws!

 

 

 

Indiana Fails to Enact #RapeByFraud Bill

HB 1584, the bill to address a gaping, rape loophole in Indiana’s laws  – the one that failed to convict Donald Grant Ward of sexual assault – will not see the light of day in the 2019 legislative session.

Grant Ward, as his friends call him, climbed into the upper bunk where a female student was fast asleep in her boyfriend’s dark, dorm room at Purdue University. She awakened because she felt her breast being touched, and then… he sexually penetrated her.

Ward knew he was tricking her into thinking he was her boyfriend. He admitted so to the police. He was arrested for rape, He was acquitted on the basis that his conduct was not a crime in Indiana’s laws. To add insult to the already egregious injury he and the jury’s decision caused the victim, the judge expunged his criminal record.

Ward’s attorney, Kirk Freeman, exploited the weakness in Indiana’s laws by defending his client’s conduct and by preening about his behavior; referring to him as “my boy” like a proud papa. His attitude exemplifies the patriarchy that perpetuates rape mentality and continues, unabated, in Indiana.

Indiana’s laws say nothing about the type of sexual assault Ward conducted. Nor do they say anything about the definition of consent. This failure could have, and should have, been corrected in this legislative session. It won’t be. How many additional victims must be raped before Indiana’s legislators see the light?

What does this legislative failure say about safety in Indiana’s colleges and universities?

Personally, if I had a daughter, the very last place I’d send her off to school right now would be Indiana. While Purdue, Notre Dame, and Indiana State enjoy high rankings in educational excellence, I’d be horrified that the Indiana legislature showed gross disregard toward protecting my child, and concerned she could suffer a similar fate…….. with absolutely no accountability or justice. (And BTW- rape can happen to our sons as well as our daughters.) Given a choice, I’d be looking at universities in states where my child would be protected by appropriate laws.

As if this incident at Purdue were not enough to convince me to educate my child elsewhere, Purdue is currently being sued for expelling two students for reporting sexual assaults.

Some other states to consider

The Hon. Mandy Powers Norrell, South Carolina State Representative

The Hon. Mandy Powers Norrell, South Carolina State Representative, is currently undertaking to protect the residents of her state from Ward’s behavior and further incidents of sexual assault. Her bill, H 3829, is pending in her state.

Alabama and Tennessee have existing laws that make Ward’s behavior a crime. Both laws are identified in my most recent book, Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault, which shows the consent provisions from coast to coast, explains why rape by fraud is a crime, and clearly defines how “consent” should be expressed in each and every state across the US and around the world.

What your raped daughter or son could face – for the rest of their lives

No matter what form of rape a person is subjected to, rape never leaves their psyche. Rape invades the most private part of a victim’s being and pollutes even the most remote corner of their mind. It takes a great deal of effort and therapy to  learn to compartmentalize defilement into a part of one’s brain where it no longer interferes with daily functioning.  Even once a survivor makes peace with what happened, they can be plagued with recurring suicidal ideation, depression and interpersonal dysfunction for life.

As a rape survivor, I, and millions of other survivors, have good reason to feel re-victimized by the oversight of Indiana’s legislators. While Donald Ward’s conduct harmed one victim, the legislative decision to ignore HB1584 failed millions of present, past, and future rape victims. Failure to pass this important bill lets the copy-cat out of the bag because it tells sexual predators that there are no consequences for conducting the heinous defilement of rape by fraud or impersonation in Indiana.

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Society and our lawmakers must be clear on what consent really means in order to conquer sexual assault! Please register for this booklet today! Together we can fight sexual assault and make the world a safer place!

Every nickel from the proceeds of this book’s sales will be used to fight for sexual assault laws!

 

 

What’s the proper penalty for rape by fraud?

Mario Antoine- locked up for 10 years for cyber crimes but nothing for rape by fraud even though the prosecutor called him a “serial rapist” and over 30 women came forward with claims against him.

Suffering through sexual degradation impacts victims at their core. Their overwhelming sense of having been polluted is ever present, long after their ongoing contact with the offender stops.  Escaping the grasp of a predator can be a horrific struggle. Even once achieved, an indelible suffering permeates one’s body and mind long into the future. Continue reading What’s the proper penalty for rape by fraud?

Prosecutor convicts sex scammer, but with flawed language

#ScamAritist #Conopath #RapeByFraud #FGKIA
Robert Devereux, Convicted Rapist

Manchester, UK- Looks pretty innocuous, right? But this convicted sexual predator is guilty of assaulting two women through an elaborate scam. In one case he violently forced her. In another, he used a blindfold to trick her. His means of contact? Plenty of Fish which ranks highest on my list of e-dating sites for sex crime offenders.

Devereux’s  hoax combined aspects of other convicted scammers, Mario Antoine in the US and Gayle Newland in the UK . Note to Devereux… not a good idea to copycat people who got caught!

Devereux hooked his targets by assuming the name “Dean,” posting an attractive profile, and grooming them to desire him over several months. Then he proceeded to convince them to have sex with his terminally ill friend “Rob” before meeting him. He also threatened to post intimate photos of one of the women on the internet.

Sexual Offense Prosecutor, Martin McRobb, explained Devereux’s method:

“Devereux worked on the emotions of these women over a long period of time, enticing them with a persuasive but utterly fake persona until they were desperate to meet him.”

“The decision making on this case was complex as on the face of it the women had consented to have sexual relations.”  But, “this was not true consent as in the case of one victim she would not have submitted to sexual activity had she not been the victim of blackmail.”

McRobb’s understanding is on target in most aspects, but his terminology is flawed. He should watch my TEDxTalk! If we could straighten out society’s understanding, and enact the actual meaning of consent in our laws, his error would be visible to both McRobb and society.

“As on the face of it, the women had consented” is an oxymoron. Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement. “Agreement on the face of it,” is “assent,” not “consent.” They are both forms of agreement. But consent, not assent, is required for sex.

McRobb should have stated: “On the face of it, the women had agreed, but agreeing on the face of it is assent, not consent. Consent is required in sexual conduct. The victim did not consent.”

In the instance where a victim was threatened, such as by threatening to disclose intimate photos, that victim would be “acquiescing,” agreeing under duress. Agreeing under duress is not “freely giving agreement,” therefore, it is not consent.

Kudos to Prosecutor McRobb for successfully locking up a sexual predator. He was absolutely correct when he said:

“The effects upon Devereux’s victims are life-long and catastrophic. Their self-confidence and desire to find a meaningful relationship may never return.”

 

 

 

Carnal vs. Intimate Defilement- Why It Matters, Everywhere, Including Texas

The Women’s Center, Ft. Worth TX

People who scoff at or fail to recognize the grotesque exploitation of rape by fraud have a great deal to learn about defilement. Yesterday, I was told that a recent rape by fraud survivor had approached the Ft. Worth, TX, Women’s Rape Crisis Center, and was turned away.

The victim, Dina, who was searching for healing and validation, had been horribly defiled. Not only had the offender lied his head off about anything and everything, he actually produced a forged divorce decree to prove he was single. He repeatedly engaged Dina in sex for several months…I’m sure you know how this ended! 

Dina has been to the police. She’s consulted with lawyers. She’s been Continue reading Carnal vs. Intimate Defilement- Why It Matters, Everywhere, Including Texas

Sofia’s Story- Violent vs. Non-Violent Sexual Assault

Without the recognition of “consent” and its impact in sex, often nay-sayers ridicule survivors who suffered non-violent forms of sexual assault.

I received this message today from a brave woman I’ll call Sofia, in order to protect her identity. What follows are her words: 

“I’m so grateful to have found your talk on Ted Talks. You share my history & spoke my story.

I was sexually abused by a family member at 12, forcibly raped by a so called boyfriend at 14, but the worst of all for me was in the form Continue reading Sofia’s Story- Violent vs. Non-Violent Sexual Assault

3 Roadblocks that Prevent Prosecution for Sexual Assault

Hurdling the road blocks

None of the states or territories of the US properly define “consent” in their laws. 76% of the states and territories of the US have NO provisions for consent in their penal code. 24% have provisions that poorly define consent and only make prosecution possible in a small amount of cases. Here are the three largest obstructions that keep lawmakers from adopting correct consent laws, right out of their own mouths: Continue reading 3 Roadblocks that Prevent Prosecution for Sexual Assault

How you vote can conquer sexual assault!

It’s become pretty obvious why we have so much sexual assault in the US. It’s because our law makers enable it! We need to overcome this hurdle.

Since the beginning of time, consent was, is, and always will be the same…… freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement…… even though, throughout the US, our laws fail to define consent properly. Failing to “define consent properly” contributes to rape.

Ridiculous excuses that prevent our laws from protecting us abound. Opposition stems from the ignorance of people with rape mentalities and law makers who want their votes, whether they have a rape mentality or not. All the road blocks come down to the same thing……

#Criminal Incarceration for #SexualAssaultbyFraud“If we recognize what consent actually is….. too many people will go to jail.”

But if a person defiles another person, a harm that can forever impact their entire journey through life, shouldn’t there be prohibitions and penalties against doing so? And doesn’t that victim deserve justice?

Laws change morality!

Generation after generation believed that enslaving another man, woman or child was acceptable behavior. People were barbarically ripped from their families and transported by ship to our shores to be marketed for sale in plain sight. It took changing our laws to stop that grotesque cannibalization of humanity.

Until we stop tolerating the omission of fact in our laws and in our minds, that no one has the right to touch another human being without their freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, sexual assault will continue unabated in the US. It’s that simple.

  • We can whine and complain.
  • We can create all the hashtags social media can absorb.
  • We can parade all the high profile offenders we can locate in the press.

The only thing that will stop sexual assault is a law that clearly states what consent is: freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement. #FGKIA!

Watch this TEDx Talk!

Only vote for candidates who support defining consent into the laws of every state and territory thought the US.

Help make the world a safer place!

 

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Your Consent, the Key to Conquering Sexual Assault will soon be available on Amazon. To secure a pre-release PDF, with 100% of your purchase price supporting #FGKIA, use this link.

Legislators and Educators can purchase the PDF for bulk distribution for a fraction of Amazon’s cost by using this link.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Cruciani a Bellwether for Harvey Weinstein?

Accused of Predatory Sexual Assault, like disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, Dr. Ricardo Cruciani, is back in court in Manhattan on Thursday, October 25th. He’s been charged with misusing his power differential to sexually exploit his patients. The Continue reading Is Cruciani a Bellwether for Harvey Weinstein?

Lysistrata Anyone? Withholding Sex to Stop #FGKIA Conflict

Lysistrata illustration by Aubrey Beardsley, 1896

Kavanaugh’s appointment illustrates a deep divide in our culture between the male and female sense of sexual assault, sexual entitlement and accountability.

Although not all women and not all men have the same opinion, by and large, when it comes to adopting laws to define CONSENT the Continue reading Lysistrata Anyone? Withholding Sex to Stop #FGKIA Conflict

Obfuscation at its darkest- The Senate Judiciary Hearing

Dr. Christine Blakey Ford

Ob-fus-cate: verb, to obscure, confuse, complicate, muddy, cloud

A 15 year old girl from a middle class family, who loved to swim and dive at Columbia Country Club, was sexually assaulted. I know this for a 100% absolute fact because…..  I’m that girl. And I know who the offender was with 100% absolute accuracy, because he was my father.

The irony of the similarities between Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and I made yesterday’s proceeding particularly difficult for me to watch. At one point I distracted myself by pondering whether she or I would score higher on a full twisting, forward, one and a half in pike position, the signature dive that earned me the city championship in Columbia, South Carolina.

As I held up my trophy, I wondered whether onlookers could peer through the thin veneer of my accomplishment and sense my awful, haunting shame that lay beneath. And I was sure that both Dr. Ford and I had shared that same struggle for many years.

Like Dr. Ford, I was groped. Unlike Dr. Ford, I didn’t wait 30+ years to reveal what happened to me. It took me nearly 50 years to publicly disclose this information.

Dr. Ford proved a number of things yesterday….. the first being that truth doesn’t need to shout. In steep contrast to Brett Kavanaugh’s overly righteous indignation, her facts sang out with the resonance only truth can provide.

It was blatantly apparent that she’d made every effort possible to bring her facts to light in a way that would not hinder the SCOTUS appointment schedule. It was never her intent to cause the delay that preoccupies the GOP side of the isle and closes their eyes to the overwhelming significance of her claim. She’d hoped to inform the public before Kavanaugh became Trump’s recommendation. But she was stymied along the way.

Enter Chuck Grassley…

Senator Chuck Grassly

Senator Chuck Grassley who Chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee turned his position into a bully pulpit to dominate the proceedings with attacks on Democrats for allegedly slowing the process. He consistently and continuously misused Ford’s allegations as a cudgel to wage tribal warfare against the other side of the isle. His intent to win completely obscured what should have been paramount in his decision making process…… What would truly be in the best interest of our nation AND the world?

Grassley attempted to detour the seriousness of Ford’s accusations down the rocky road of political blame. Rather than inquiring about the nature of Ford’s experience, his only inquiries were attempts to fault Democrats for inappropriate handling of her message; as if the world would be fooled into ignoring how totally disturbed his priorities were. He seemed to believe we are all too dumb to see that he is attempting to suppress the horror Kavanaugh exacted on the sanctity of Dr. Ford’s body to rush approval through before the mid-term elections.

Grassley and other Republicans, the majority of his committee, are intent on securing a conservative replacement for Justice Kennedy’s available seat. They are acting out of fear that they may lose their majority advantage with the November vote.  Despite that the world easily sees through his smoke screen, he continuously claimed his grandstanding was merely an explanation of the “process.”

In the absolute height of irony he said, “I’m not going to reward people for playing a political game,” as if we couldn’t recognize his con. And he’s attempting to con us in the most transparent way…. by refusing to subpoena witnesses or have the FBI conduct an appropriate investigation. At the very least, Kavanaugh should be required to submit to a polygraph. It could have been administered yesterday evening, immediately after the hearing and prior to this morning’s judiciary meeting.

If Kavanaugh is approved, the American Bar Association should step in and conduct a full investigation to determine if he, indeed, should be stripped of his judicial credentials. In fact, even if he’s not approved, he should be investigated.

The perfect witness…. credible, knowledgeable and humble

Dr. Ford had no ulterior motive. She was not touting any candidate in the ring. She simply knew of the diabolical mindset of one particular candidate and thought his despicable attempt at sexually assaulting her was sufficiently heinous to counter politics. She credibly reported that he’d put his hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming, and she feared for her life. Her concerns rang true to both survivors and people who’d never been assaulted. 

Ignoring fact to favor partisan politics

Judge Brett Kavanaugh

As if the credible sexual assault allegations against him were not enough to slow or stop the process of appointment, Brett Kavanaugh’s performance from yesterday, both his attitude and behavior, should have knocked him off anyone’s list for appropriate judicial conduct. His personal attempts at obfuscation through heated, sometimes angry, sometimes attacking, righteous indignation fell flat in the minds of anyone and everyone who ever dealt with a liar.

The fact that he could honestly say “I was not there” when he has no idea when or where the actions took place, is absurd. To Dr. Ford, his behavior would be indelibly etched into her memory as a result of the neurological response to the trauma she experienced. But to Kavanaugh, it was just one of many rowdy, drunken, irresponsible acts, with no specific impact to carve it into his memory.

Business as usual for sexual assault

Yesterday’s events clearly showed why we have so much sexual assault in the US. While it sickens me, it doesn’t surprise me.

I have long known that our law makers refuse to enact the cure for sexual assault because men like Kavanaugh would go to jail if they did. And many of our law makers think exactly like Kavanaugh, including Grassley, Lindsey Graham and Sen. Hatch, minimizing the relevance of sex crimes. 

If our laws clearly stated, “Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault, and consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA,” Brett Kavanaugh could have, and possibly would have, been arrested for what they excuse as just “boys being boys.”

Until our legislators enact what sexual assault really means and define consent in our laws, survivors will continue to choke on the grotesque invalidation we experience with the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. No matter what the Judiciary Committee does today, there is still hope that the larger body of the Senate can steer our nation back to a moral and appropriate path with their ultimate vote.

Please contact your legislators and let them know you will not elect them again if they vote to put Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court. And personally, I hope you’ll join me in prayers to whatever God you chose, in order to stop this train wreck from continuing. 

Addendum-

Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona just stepped forward in an attempt to bring the nation together. He has suggested a one week delay in the Senate’s vote on Kavanaugh while the FBI conducts an investigation into the allegations that have been made against him.

While this means that Kavanaugh’s name will be reported to the Senate for a vote, it indicates that without such an investigation, the ultimate vote may go against his approval.

Unfortunately, there are issues regarding Kavanaugh’s candidacy that surfaced yesterday that won’t necessarily come up in the investigation. Kavanaugh was found to be untruthful in much of his statement. He repeatedly mis-characterized his drinking and stated that witnesses named by Dr. Ford had “denied” her claims when they did not. He made provable comments to objectify a female classmate that he denies as well as other glaring inconsistencies with truth.  Kavanaugh seems to have the same disconnect to truth that Donald Trump has…. a characteristic that is untenable in a judge.

What Senator Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump will do regarding Senator Flake’s request for an investigation remains to be seen. It’s my belief; however, that Trump holds the cards, and even he can see that the uproar for moving forward without an appropriate investigation would wreak havoc on his political agenda.

He would if he could. He and his minions tried mightily and failed due to the bravery, courage and truth of one woman; Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.

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Please, help pass new legislation on sexual assault. Watch this TEDx Talk! today!It’s free…. doesn’t cost you a dime, just a few moments of your time that could help change the world! It’s not political! It’s not sexist! But it’s crucial in the war to conquer sexual assault!

3 Major Takeaways in Jail Time for Cosby

William Henry Cosby Jr., Convicted Serial Sexual Predator

There are soooo many lessons to be learned by Bill Cosby’s trial and conviction! Today, as he was led to prison in handcuffs, the wry smugness that had punctuated his features had finally vanished. The downward cast of his eyes in his mugshot mimicked the steep decline of his fall from grace.

Here’s my take on the three biggest lessons we can learn from his conviction…..

Lesson 1.

Andrea Constand’s Impact Statement underscores that violence is far from the only way victims of sexual predators can be harmed. Instead of using violent force to overwhelm her, Cosby used drugs. Constand’s brains were muddled and it was impossible for her to freely give knowledgeable and informed agreement. #FGKIA

#AndreaConstand
Andrea Constand

Just like Constand was denied consent by Bill Cosby, any victim who is denied consent is sexually assaulted, not seduced.

It’s high time for our law makers to get it right and protect society!

Lesson 2.

Our present system of testimony in sexual assault trials is appalling. Constand admirably described her ordeal at her deposition for her civil case:

I had to relive every moment of the sexual assault in horrifying detail in front of Mr. Cosby and his lawyers. I felt traumatized all over again and was often in tears. I had to watch Cosby make jokes and attempt to degrade and diminish me, while his lawyers belittled and sneered at me. It deepened my sense of shame and helplessness, and at the end of each day, I left emotionally drained and exhausted.

There is no reason why the offender and the victim must actually sit in the same room. With our present state of technology, this method of questioning is outdated and unnecessary. By its very nature, it’s intimidating and one of the reasons sexual assault victims refrain from speaking up. It forces the victim to relive their trauma in front of the very person who traumatized them.

Murder victims are not alive to testify in person about their murder, yet justice proceeds. Victims whose soul has been murdered should not have to be in the same room as the person who murdered their soul. It’s cruel, and thanks to technology, it’s unnecessary.

Lesson 3.

One person’s testimony meant nothing to law enforcement. Constand’s case only succeeded in generating action once scores of victims came forward. Her story is the same for countless victims that report the horrific crimes they suffered. Instead of securing the support, help, and justice they sorely need, they’re met with disdain, disbelief and dismissal from the authorities. Had Cosby not been a public figure, it’s unlikely he would have been arrested on sexual assault charges.

In another less high-profile case, Mario Anioine, in Kansas City Missouri, harmed 30+ women. A Federal Prosecutor called him a “serial rapist.” Yet the SVU Prosecutor failed to file charges for rape against him. Fortunately, he was ultimately found guilty of federal cyber crimes.

Each victim of sexual assault deserves to secure the unequivocal support of law enforcement. Their attitude toward non-violent rape or rape by acquaintances is appalling. NYPD Commander Peter Rose of the 94th Precinct disclosed the horrid underbelly of police mentality toward acquaintance rapes when he stated that violent rapes by strangers was a real crime and ignored 10 out of 13 acquaintance rape cases in his precinct.

Enough Is Enough!

How long must we tolerate our lawmakers’ uncanny blindness toward the sexual sanctity of a person’s body and the life-altering, deeply painful, and shameful pall it casts over the victim for the rest of their entire life? 

We CAN make a difference! We CAN get the laws changed across the US! Please watch this TEDx Talk! Share it with everyone you know! Call your legislator and say #FGKIA, Sign it into law Today! Don’t vote for them if they won’t give you a new law that protects yourself, your children and your children’s children!

How Anita Hill and #FGKIA go hand in hand!

Anita Hill struck the nail on the head today in her opinion piece in the NY Times, A special investigation is called for in order to truly determine the merits of the case against Kavanaugh.

A special investigator can look at the polygraph results and interview Continue reading How Anita Hill and #FGKIA go hand in hand!