He was the man of her dreams all right….. a six foot tall, outrageously handsome, charismatic, charming, and intelligent nightmare!
For a twenty-something back in the early 70’s, there was no literature or common knowledge about character disorder. No one warned that sexual predators could con you without giving off the slightest glimmer of suspicion….. that they have no sense of remorse and can rip your heart and your life to shreds without batting an eye!
Today, January 17, 2019, marks a day I’ve long awaited! The very first meaningful rape by fraud/deception/impersonation bill was introduced to Indiana’s House of Representatives this morning. HB 1584 was identified in a condensed reading by House Speaker Brian C. Bosna. It was authored by Rep. Donna Schaibley and supported by former Indiana State Representative, Sally Siegrist. Continue reading Indiana Launches Effort to Criminalize Rape by Deception!→
Interested in helping to fight sexual assault by fraud or deception, case by defiling case?
Survivors of sexual assault by fraud have an almost impossible obstacle to hurdle in order to recover. Our justice system fails to prosecute, even in states with specific rape by fraud laws like Missouri where “Assent is not consent when induced by force, duress or deception,” – second degree rape. We need to identify legal help for the countless victims who have suffered this heartless deceit, whether through a civil or criminal action!
If you have the skills and interest to put these cases on the judicial map and lay a foundation for justice for so many, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please identify “I’m a lawyer in ……..” naming your state in your subject line.
Tonight’s broadcast of Nightline, (12:35 AM, Tuesday morning on ABC) is scheduled to cover the new bill that is soon to be submitted in Indiana on Rape by Impersonation. It features Joyce Short, Sally Siegrist, the State Representative who championed the legislative change, and Abigail Finney, the victim in the Donald Grant Ward case that Ms. Short discusses in her TEDx Talk,When YES Means NO – The Truth About Consent.
Barring that no major news event prevents this episode from airing, you can live tweet Ms. Short @jm_short using hashtag #FGKIA for Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement, the meaning of CONSENT!
Manchester, UK- Looks pretty innocuous, right? But this convicted sexual predator is guilty of assaulting two women through an elaborate scam. In one case he violently forced her. In another, he used a blindfold to trick her. His means of contact? Plenty of Fish which ranks highest on my list of e-dating sites for sex crime offenders.
Devereux’s hoax combined aspects of other convicted scammers, Mario Antoine in the US and Gayle Newland in the UK . Note to Devereux… not a good idea to copycat people who got caught!
Devereux hooked his targets by assuming the name “Dean,” posting an attractive profile, and grooming them to desire him over several months. Then he proceeded to convince them to have sex with his terminally ill friend “Rob” before meeting him. He also threatened to post intimate photos of one of the women on the internet.
Sexual Offense Prosecutor, Martin McRobb, explained Devereux’s method:
“Devereux worked on the emotions of these women over a long period of time, enticing them with a persuasive but utterly fake persona until they were desperate to meet him.”
“The decision making on this case was complex as on the face of it the women had consented to have sexual relations.” But, “this was not true consent as in the case of one victim she would not have submitted to sexual activity had she not been the victim of blackmail.”
McRobb’s understanding is on target in most aspects, but his terminology is flawed. He should watch my TEDxTalk! If we could straighten out society’s understanding, and enact the actual meaning of consent in our laws, his error would be visible to both McRobb and society.
“As on the face of it, the women had consented” is an oxymoron. Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement. “Agreement on the face of it,” is “assent,” not “consent.” They are both forms of agreement. But consent, not assent, is required for sex.
McRobb should have stated: “On the face of it, the women had agreed, but agreeing on the face of it is assent, not consent. Consent is required in sexual conduct. The victim did not consent.”
In the instance where a victim was threatened, such as by threatening to disclose intimate photos, that victim would be “acquiescing,” agreeing under duress. Agreeing under duress is not “freely giving agreement,” therefore, it is not consent.
Kudos to Prosecutor McRobb for successfully locking up a sexual predator. He was absolutely correct when he said:
“The effects upon Devereux’s victims are life-long and catastrophic. Their self-confidence and desire to find a meaningful relationship may never return.”
People who scoff at or fail to recognize the grotesque exploitation of rape by fraud have a great deal to learn about defilement. Yesterday, I was told that a recent rape by fraud survivor had approached the Ft. Worth, TX, Women’s Rape Crisis Center, and was turned away.
The victim, Dina, who was searching for healing and validation, had been horribly defiled. Not only had the offender lied his head off about anything and everything, he actually produced a forged divorce decree to prove he was single. He repeatedly engaged Dina in sex for several months…I’m sure you know how this ended!
David Mack deserves an award for his outstanding article on Rape by Fraud in today’s BuzzFeed!
In The Wrong Man, he captures the horrific sexual deception committed by Purdue University student, Donald “Grant” Ward, explains the suffering of his victim, Abigail Finney, and enlightens us about the legal confusion that mires the understanding of society, legislators and law enforcement alike over sexual assault. Continue reading BuzzFeed Zooms-In on Rape by Fraud!→
In a move that underscores the indecent state of immorality in Indiana’s sex crime laws, rape charges against Donald Ward were recently expunged from his criminal record. This revision underscores how desperately every resident of Indiana, and certainly every student attending college there, needs Indiana’s laws to change! Continue reading “IN” state laws support “IN”decency!!→
None of the states or territories of the US properly define “consent” in their laws. 76% of the states and territories of the US have NO provisions for consent in their penal code. 24% have provisions that poorly define consent and only make prosecution possible in a small amount of cases. Here are the three largest obstructions that keep lawmakers from adopting correct consent laws, right out of their own mouths: Continue reading 3 Roadblocks that Prevent Prosecution for Sexual Assault→
Ob-fus-cate: verb, to obscure, confuse, complicate, muddy, cloud
A 15 year old girl from a middle class family, who loved to swim and dive at Columbia Country Club, was sexually assaulted. I know this for a 100% absolute fact because….. I’m that girl. And I know who the offender was with 100% absolute accuracy, because he was my father.
The irony of the similarities between Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and I made yesterday’s proceeding particularly difficult for me to watch. At one point I distracted myself by pondering whether she or I would score higher on a full twisting, forward, one and a half in pike position, the signature dive that earned me the city championship in Columbia, South Carolina.
As I held up my trophy, I wondered whether onlookers could peer through the thin veneer of my accomplishment and sense my awful, haunting shame that lay beneath. And I was sure that both Dr. Ford and I had shared that same struggle for many years.
Like Dr. Ford, I was groped. Unlike Dr. Ford, I didn’t wait 30+ years to reveal what happened to me. It took me nearly 50 years to publicly disclose this information.
Dr. Ford proved a number of things yesterday….. the first being that truth doesn’t need to shout. In steep contrast to Brett Kavanaugh’s overly righteous indignation, her facts sang out with the resonance only truth can provide.
It was blatantly apparent that she’d made every effort possible to bring her facts to light in a way that would not hinder the SCOTUS appointment schedule. It was never her intent to cause the delay that preoccupies the GOP side of the isle and closes their eyes to the overwhelming significance of her claim. She’d hoped to inform the public before Kavanaugh became Trump’s recommendation. But she was stymied along the way.
Enter Chuck Grassley…
Senator Chuck Grassley who Chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee turned his position into a bully pulpit to dominate the proceedings with attacks on Democrats for allegedly slowing the process. He consistently and continuously misused Ford’s allegations as a cudgel to wage tribal warfare against the other side of the isle. His intent to win completely obscured what should have been paramount in his decision making process…… What would truly be in the best interest of our nation AND the world?
Grassley attempted to detour the seriousness of Ford’s accusations down the rocky road of political blame. Rather than inquiring about the nature of Ford’s experience, his only inquiries were attempts to fault Democrats for inappropriate handling of her message; as if the world would be fooled into ignoring how totally disturbed his priorities were. He seemed to believe we are all too dumb to see that he is attempting to suppress the horror Kavanaugh exacted on the sanctity of Dr. Ford’s body to rush approval through before the mid-term elections.
Grassley and other Republicans, the majority of his committee, are intent on securing a conservative replacement for Justice Kennedy’s available seat. They are acting out of fear that they may lose their majority advantage with the November vote. Despite that the world easily sees through his smoke screen, he continuously claimed his grandstanding was merely an explanation of the “process.”
In the absolute height of irony he said, “I’m not going to reward people for playing a political game,” as if we couldn’t recognize his con. And he’s attempting to con us in the most transparent way…. by refusing to subpoena witnesses or have the FBI conduct an appropriate investigation. At the very least, Kavanaugh should be required to submit to a polygraph. It could have been administered yesterday evening, immediately after the hearing and prior to this morning’s judiciary meeting.
If Kavanaugh is approved, the American Bar Association should step in and conduct a full investigation to determine if he, indeed, should be stripped of his judicial credentials. In fact, even if he’s not approved, he should be investigated.
The perfect witness…. credible, knowledgeable and humble
Dr. Ford had no ulterior motive. She was not touting any candidate in the ring. She simply knew of the diabolical mindset of one particular candidate and thought his despicable attempt at sexually assaulting her was sufficiently heinous to counter politics. She credibly reported that he’d put his hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming, and she feared for her life. Her concerns rang true to both survivors and people who’d never been assaulted.
Ignoring fact to favor partisan politics
As if the credible sexual assault allegations against him were not enough to slow or stop the process of appointment, Brett Kavanaugh’s performance from yesterday, both his attitude and behavior, should have knocked him off anyone’s list for appropriate judicial conduct. His personal attempts at obfuscation through heated, sometimes angry, sometimes attacking, righteous indignation fell flat in the minds of anyone and everyone who ever dealt with a liar.
The fact that he could honestly say “I was not there” when he has no idea when or where the actions took place, is absurd. To Dr. Ford, his behavior would be indelibly etched into her memory as a result of the neurological response to the trauma she experienced. But to Kavanaugh, it was just one of many rowdy, drunken, irresponsible acts, with no specific impact to carve it into his memory.
Business as usual for sexual assault
Yesterday’s events clearly showed why we have so much sexual assault in the US. While it sickens me, it doesn’t surprise me.
I have long known that our law makers refuse to enact the cure for sexual assault because men like Kavanaugh would go to jail if they did. And many of our law makers think exactly like Kavanaugh, including Grassley, Lindsey Graham and Sen. Hatch, minimizing the relevance of sex crimes.
If our laws clearly stated, “Nonconsensual sex is sexual assault, and consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA,” Brett Kavanaugh could have, and possibly would have, been arrested for what they excuse as just “boys being boys.”
Until our legislators enact what sexual assault really means and define consent in our laws, survivors will continue to choke on the grotesque invalidation we experience with the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. No matter what the Judiciary Committee does today, there is still hope that the larger body of the Senate can steer our nation back to a moral and appropriate path with their ultimate vote.
Please contact your legislators and let them know you will not elect them again if they vote to put Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court. And personally, I hope you’ll join me in prayers to whatever God you chose, in order to stop this train wreck from continuing.
Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona just stepped forward in an attempt to bring the nation together. He has suggested a one week delay in the Senate’s vote on Kavanaugh while the FBI conducts an investigation into the allegations that have been made against him.
While this means that Kavanaugh’s name will be reported to the Senate for a vote, it indicates that without such an investigation, the ultimate vote may go against his approval.
Unfortunately, there are issues regarding Kavanaugh’s candidacy that surfaced yesterday that won’t necessarily come up in the investigation. Kavanaugh was found to be untruthful in much of his statement. He repeatedly mis-characterized his drinking and stated that witnesses named by Dr. Ford had “denied” her claims when they did not. He made provable comments to objectify a female classmate that he denies as well as other glaring inconsistencies with truth. Kavanaugh seems to have the same disconnect to truth that Donald Trump has…. a characteristic that is untenable in a judge.
What Senator Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump will do regarding Senator Flake’s request for an investigation remains to be seen. It’s my belief; however, that Trump holds the cards, and even he can see that the uproar for moving forward without an appropriate investigation would wreak havoc on his political agenda.
He would if he could. He and his minions tried mightily and failed due to the bravery, courage and truth of one woman; Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
Please, help pass new legislation on sexual assault. Watch this TEDx Talk! today!It’s free…. doesn’t cost you a dime, just a few moments of your time that could help change the world! It’s not political! It’s not sexist! But it’s crucial in the war to conquer sexual assault!
Virginia’s Penal Code addresses rape by fraud in a clear manner. Using “ruse” to undermine a victim’s consent is considered Sexual Battery, a Class 1 misdemeanor.
Crimes like the one committed by Donald Ward in Indiana, should qualify as Sexual Battery by Ruse in Virginia. Ward crept into the bed of a sleeping co-ed at Purdue University and engaged her in sex. The victim was asleep in her boyfriend’s bed and believed Ward was him.
Virginia’s treatment of sexual assaults is sensible. Their penal code divides misconduct by forcible and aggravated cases and lessor crimes. Initial violent convictions result in felony charges, but repeat misdemeanor offenses will raise the level of the charge to a felony.
Most sexual battery offenses, whether violent or not, will result in mandatory registration on the sex offender list.
Additionally, Virginia will prosecute offenders who transmit Aids, HIV, Hepatitis B or Syphillis.
If you’ve been sexually assaulted through a ruse in Virginia, please notify me at StopRomanceScams@ymail.com.
A. An accused is guilty of sexual battery if he sexually abuses, as definedin 18.2-67.10, (i) the complaining witness against the will of the complaining witness, by force, threat, intimidation, or ruse.
Many of us who suffered through emotional abuse feel our sorrow more intensely during the holiday season. As we see families come together in love and support, we’re reminded of the happiness we lost.
But did we really lose it? Or did we simply lose the image of what we’d hoped for, that was never to be? Often, holidays with emotional predators were as painful, and perhaps more so, than any other day. Continue reading Create A New Tradition of Joy!→