“Thank you so much for being a champion of my cause! I am so grateful to have you in my corner and to help support me through this heinous process!”
Above is the post Mischele Lewis placed on my blog after I’d accompanied her to a hearing and posted on recent events in her case. She’d been turned down for a restraining order against William Allen Jordan, a convicted pedophile and bigamist, who had seduced her in an emotional hoax. The Judge, John Tomasello, failed to enlighten her that a restraining order was already in effect, per Nicole’s Law, a statute providing restraining orders in all sexual assault cases. Nicole’s mother saw my post and contacted me. That’s how we found out.
The tail end of Jordan being escorted from the courtroom the day of the Tomasello hearing. I ran fast to catch the shot but his escort moved faster.
Lewis claimed that, along with defrauding her of sex, Jordan robbed her of more than $4,000, and impersonated an operative in the British Defense Ministry. Ultimately, Jordan pleaded guilty and allocuted to the robbery and impersonating an officer. He is scheduled to begin his three year sentence in February.
The most troubling aspects of Lewis’s case against Jordan are:
The authorities in the UK did not report deporting him to the US and place his name on Meagen’s List, which identifies sex offenders. Lewis has a teen aged daughter. Jordan has a history of child molestation.
The State of NJ failed to use their existing statutes covering aggravated sexual assault to convict Jordan. Instead they charged him with “Sexual Assault by Coercion,” which could not possible stick. Jordan had not coerced Lewis. In fact, he’d seduced her. Correctly, the Grand Jury failed to indict.
Aiding a victim
When I first met Lewis back in March of 2014, about four months after Carnal Abuse by Deceit was originally published, she was unaware of Rape by Fraud. Donna Anderson, who blogs at LoveFraud, a healing community for victims of relationships with sociopaths, had introduced us. She’d read my book, wanted to know if Lewis’s case met the criteria. and if NJ would punish the offense.
I spoke with Lewis at great length, enlightened her about the crime, researched the NJ statutes, and put an analysis together to give to the police, along with 2 copies of my book. I figured they knew far more about the laws of NJ than I, but wanted to convey that someone who knew something about it was watching and standing behind the victim.
I explained to Lewis that if NJ failed to convict on Aggravated Sexual Assault, we could gain the traction needed to introduce a sexual assault by fraud law in the state. (Jersey uses the term “sexual assault” for such cases, not “rape.”) Anderson, Lewis and I went to the police station together to file her statement.
A light appears at the end of the tunnel!
Fortunately, when the jury failed to indict based on the Prosecutor’s charge, Assemblyman Troy Singleton read the story in the news and contacted Lewis. He introduced Legislation #3908 in the NJ Assembly, Sexual Assault by Fraud, on November 13, 2014.
Assemblyman Singleton is absolutely my hero! After suffering my own personal, decades long journey through rape by fraud, spending 4 years writing my book, blogging, and advocating, I was overwhelmed with joy!
#3908, You can help!
The bill has a long way to go! It was patterned after the statute on sexual assault by fraud in Tennessee which is the broadest of such laws in the country. Media has created hysteria by characterizing the law with absurd scenarios that the statute is not designed to prosecute.
A petition seeking the passage of NJ Assembly Legislation #3908 is posted on change.org. Your voice can make a major impact on passing this bill!
Today, New Jersey…… Tomorrow, your state or jurisdiction! And give all your friends and family the link so they can sign the petition as well! http://www.chn.ge/1t7FZJu Don’t hesitate! Click now to sign!
Watch the Dateline episode on Sunday
Dateline taped Mischele’s story. I was asked to give the “legal framework,” but my section ended up on the cutting room floor. Unfortunately, introduction of the law came too late for the taping, and very little of the finished work mentions the crime of rape by fraud. Still, it will be an interesting depiction of how con artists work to embroil people, looking for love, in sexual and emotional hoaxes. I hope everyone will watch and send a note of appreciation to Assemblyman Troy Singleton, AsmSingleton@njleg.org, to thank him for his efforts and support passage of Legislation #3908, Sexual Assault by Fraud. Due to his actions, the next sexual con artist in NJ may actually get jail-time for their crime!
Rape by fraud can happen to anyone. Mischele Lewis, like everyone else, desired to have love in her life. We’re all wired by nature to do so. No one has the right to exploit our instinct to couple with either physical or emotional rape. By defrauding her of her highest emotion, and sexually penetrating her based on “false personation,” Jordan did both. He is not the only sexual predator out there. There are millions. Society needs to know and put an end to their depravity.
Watch an in-depth explanation of rape by fraud
I was recently interviewed about rape by fraud by The Woman’s Connection. Here’s the link. I hope it will enable viewers to develop a fuller understanding of the crime and its devastation.
Please join me, live on Twitter during the Dateline airing: @jm_short, hashtag #RapeByFraud and hashtag #SexualAssaultByFraud
The “E” in e-dating could readily stand for “Easy Pickin’s!”
Courtship, Sex and the Single Colonist, Photo by Dave Doody
Gone are the days when families oversaw the courtship of the younger generation. Dowries and chaperoned strolls through the park, characteristic of the 17th century, are long gone. But Andrew G. Gardner, in his Colonial Williamsburg article, Courtship, Sex and the Single Colonist, describes that even in the era of the Puritans, one third of marriages took place with a “bun in the oven.”
Jane Austen’s day was not without scoundrels who made commitments and flew the coupe, leaving the maiden in the socially unacceptable circumstance of being unmarried and pregnant. And young men frequently sought their fortune through their matches. Love often took a back seat to pragmatism and concern for the betterment of the family.
Back then, families were less transient and people knew the character of others who lived in their village or town. A slip in behavior, bad dealings with others, was hard to suppress and marred a person’s reputation for a lifetime.
Enter technology…..
So why should we expect technology that readily transports strangers into our lives is a safe way to meet a mate? And what about our moral structure enables us to think it okay to engage in sex without thoroughly vetting our love interest?
Whatever a person tells you online could be true, or a total fabrication. And people can transport their charm through techno space as readily as if they sat beside you. What they say can be truth or fiction, depending on their moral compass. They know, if you are looking for love, you are the perfect mark.
Duping people is an art form. And the well practiced CAD is hard to spot. They can lure you with a sympathy play, by mirroring your values, by flattery, and countless other practices that erode your guard.
Some safety guidelines
I’m not saying that you should never engage in internet dating, but rather, you should do so with great caution. Here are some basic protections you should employ:
Check the photo ID of anyone you meet online. Is it unromantic? Yup… but if the person cares about your safety, they won’t be offended.
Be sure to note their age and address. Is it the same information you initially received from them? There is no excuse for a lie of identity. If they told you one, walk out the door. You will never be anything but an object to that person, no matter how charming they appear to be.
Google them. Check them out on Linked-In and their Facebook page. Do they work for a company with a web presence? The likelihood is great that if they used technology to find you, but don’t have other social technology, they are hiding something.
Don’t have a sexual relationship with anyone until you have met other people who know them. Sex is chemically bonding. Regardless how you feel about them before the fireworks, you will feel more compelled toward them afterward. It’s how the neurotransmitters in your brain work.You will be more susceptible to their lies once you’ve had sex with them which is why impostors will try to quickly sweep you off your feet. Too much, too fast is likely to be a con.
Remember that there are two sides to every story. People who parent children together, regardless of the fact that they are divorced, should get along with their ex. Not doing so should run up a red flag.
Not having a bond with parents is a pretty good indication that they are unable to bond, period. Even if a person suffered abuse, they will still feel a bond of love. While they may establish healthy boundaries, they will care about their parent’s well being. People who have no relationship with their parent are likely to be unable to bond. And they may cook up stories of abuse as a sympathy play to explain away their lack of caring.
Be mindful of the signs that people give off that indicate they have weak or non-existent emotional empathy. How do they treat the waiter? The valet? The cab driver? Have they engaged in any kind of activity for the betterment of others?
You can improve your safety in internet dating by being vigilant and recognizing that one out of 25 people are sociopaths and many more have sociopathic of character disordered traits. Don’t think falling into a predator’s path can’t happen to you.