Tag Archives: #SexualAssault

Up-Vote Your Favorite CONSENT Song Contest Entry

Watch and vote for your favorite! And subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

Have singing talent or know someone who does? Read the guidelines and get those entries in by midnight September 1. Voting ends midnight, September 15th.

Grand Prize $500!

Raise awareness! Help define consent to make the world a safer place!

Battling the Enemy Within – Military Sexual Assault

Soldiers should not need to battle their own colleagues to prevent sexual trauma!

It’s heartbreaking when women who risk their lives to defend our nation become victims of sexual assault by those with whom they serve….  and even their senior officers!  One such survivor, Teresa Crossman, intends to change that! Continue reading Battling the Enemy Within – Military Sexual Assault

“Consent” Interview- Tracy Malone Interviews Consent Crusader, Joyce Short

Available now on YouTube! 

Just in time for Sexual Violence Prevention Month!

I had the recent pleasure of interviewing with Tracy Malone, the creator of Narcissist Abuse Support  which provides meaningful information on recovery, as well as support, for hundreds of abuse sufferers.

Tracy Malone, Coach, Organizer, YouTube Guru on Recovery for Narcissist Abuse

Our discussion ran the gamut between the actual definition for “consent” to the concrete steps people can take to make the world a safer place.

I think you’ll find it enlightening!

#CodifyConsent – Did you hear what Harvey Weinstein said?

Weinstein finally opened his mouth at his sentencing and showed the world why we desperately need to #CodifyConsent in our laws!

When the jury asked his judge, Hon. James Burke, “What’s the legal definition for consent?’ all he could say was:

“Use your commonsense!”

Continue reading #CodifyConsent – Did you hear what Harvey Weinstein said?

Consent’s Vital Role in the Dance World

Dancer- Olivia Tarchick, Phtoto by Dafid Hofmann on Unsplash

Today’s post is written by Nicole Perry, CAN’s latest Consent Outreach Ambassador. Nicole is based in South Florida and her unique, professional background in the dance world ties right in with our mission to clearly define consent for society and in penal codes across the US and around the world! 

Nicole is an intimacy director/choreographer, dance choreographer, and movement director. She is also a director, actor, dancer, and the founder of Momentum Stage, a non-profit organization providing resources for performing artists. Her credits are listed below her post.

Here’s what she has to say…….

I believe this time of physical distancing is going to make us more aware of contact and proximity when we are able to reenter the “real world.” Because of that, being able to ask for, as well as affirm or deny consent, is going to be a really applicable skill, in a different way than before.

Photo by Jonathan Ballistella on Unsplash

In the world of performing arts, where I work, consent has only recently become a topic of consideration. I am an Intimacy Director/Choreographer. I create the movement for intimate moments on stage, many of which require physical contact.

Recent beginnings

The term used for my job was created in 2004 by Tonia Sina, the founder of Intimacy Directors International. My role centers around consent. The theatre, film, and opera worlds have been adding this role to their creative teams since about 2017. Even though the #MeToo Movement thrust the need for consent into the spotlight, the concert dance world is still behind. But, as last year’s scandal at the New York City Ballet shows us, it really needs to catch up.

Agreeing under pressure

Photo by Nihal Demici on Unspash

Being a performer conditions us to say “yes”, even if we don’t really mean it. The myth of the Hard to Work with Actor, conveys that when the performer does not say “yes” to everything asked of them, they’ll be labelled “hard to work with,” “difficult,” or “a diva,” and will find it very challenging to get work in the future. “Yes, and…” is encouraged as the only response when conducting improv work.

In dance, a teacher models the combination, and students work to look as much like the teacher as possible. Dance pedagogy, while being very teacher-centric and allowing only one voice of power in the room, is also very touch-centric. It allows the person in power to have “at will” access to the bodies of those not in power. This creates quite the paradox:

While dancers are working to have complete control over their bodies, they are also expected to immediately surrender that control to the teacher or choreographer.

The power-differential effect

Beyond a dancer’s conditioning to say “yes”, we are also conditioned to see and respect power. The performing arts are incredibly hierarchical. The director is in charge of the actors, but answers to an artistic director and/or producers. Among the actors there are leads as well as supporting, and ensemble company members. In dance, the choreographer is in charge of the piece, but the artistic director is in charge of the company.

Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash

There are the corps or company members, but there are also soloists who rank higher up the ladder because of their opportunities, physical capabilities, and often – their paychecks. These power dynamics are part of a performer’s culture from the very first show they are in; which for many is at a very young age. All of this reinforces “yes” as the only option.

Enter CONSENT.……

In my work, as an Intimacy Director/Choreographer, I tell everyone that the work is based on CONSENT, and “consent” is truly only “consent” if “no” is a valid answer. I assure the directors that I can make a story work and fit their artistic vision, while still respecting a performer’s boundaries. I try to ask open-ended questions to my performers, with no implied “yes,” such as, “Does it work for you if so-and-so puts her hand in such-and-such place?” or, “How do you feel about so-and-so placing her hand in such-and-such place?” in order to encourage them to answer honestly.

We are very pleased to be partnering with CAN to promote Consent Culture in the Performing Arts.

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Tap this link if, like NIcole, you’d like to help raise awareness and make the world a safer place by becoming a CAN Consent Outreach Ambassador.

About Momentum Stage

Momentum Stage, offers resources for artists and teachers of the performing arts. We have a whole category of such resources that revolve around Touch and Consent. We offer 3 online courses:

In addition, we offer consulting services for studios, departments, and companies to help create policies that honor the agency of, and protect, their performers and creators.

Recent Credits for Nicole Perry include: 

  • Imagine: a Journey in Dance at the Kravis Center,
  • Choreography and intimacy direction for the US premiere of The Glass Piano at Theatre Lab
  • Intimacy choreography for In the Heights with Measure for Measure Theatre, where she is the resident intimacy choreographer
  • Certified Laban/Bartenieff Movement Analyst through Integrated Movement Studies
  • Member of Stage Directors and Choreographers Society
  • Apprentice at Intimacy Directors International.
  • Founder of Momentum Stage, a non-profit providing resources for performing artists

 

#SAAM Day of Action Challenge

Today is a very special day. Today, we wear the color teal because it’s the day we devote to taking action to prevent sexual assault. And even though we’ve all been put on pause, there is still much we can do to bring the scourge of sexual assault to its knees!

Today is the 19th Day of Action for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Even though we’re sheltering in place, or perhaps because Continue reading #SAAM Day of Action Challenge

What an Unmasked Trump Teaches Us About Consent

By his refusal to wear a mask, Trump is flaunting morality. If wearing a mask were required by law, he’d have to comply. Instead he can flaunt moral reasoning and science to maintain his outward appearance because, let’s face it….  the only reason he’s not wearing a mask is because he doesn’t like how he’d look. To Trump, personal vanity trumps concern for his fellow man.

A true leader would understand the moral imperative behind his wearing that mask, not only to protect those around him, but to set an example for the world.

When you insist that your children wear a mask, and they say, “But the President doesn’t wear one, why should I?” there is only one answer you can give them; “Because he just doesn’t give a damn about who he harms. We do.”

Trump and Consent

Trump’s example reveals why we so desperately need to #CodifyConsent in our laws. There are people who walk among us that will only abide by decency and morality when laws establish accountability. They will skirt around penal codes that fail to cast a wide and incontrovertible net. They will rape, assault, and even murder if they are not reigned-in by established law.

Our sexual assault laws are fraught with legal loopholes that immoral people slip through. For background on a few, read the posts on Donald Ward, Kim McMorries, Roger Hardy, Justin Schneider and more.

The vast expanse of the legal loopholes in sexual assault laws can only be plugged up by codifying consent into law.

The Pandemic’s Interference

COVID-19 has paused the train that is moving the bill we’ve been working on in PA down the tracks. But we have wonderful legislators who have pledged to go forward as quickly as humanly possible.

Meanwhile- here’s a little song to hum while we wait – to the tune of:

“You’re so Vain”

by Carly Simon and revised by moi……

 

You walked up to the platform,

Like all those times you’d  done so before.

And you stumbled over all your printed text,

While you pointed out your ratings that soar.

 

You had one eye on the camera,

As you shift and avoid press with ease.

And half the world, when they listen, they get sucked-in

‘Til your bald spot’s revealed by the breeze.

 

You’re so vain,

You won’t wear a mask ‘cuz it’s not cool.

You’re so vain,

The safety of others, not for this fool.

This fool,

This fool!

 

Oh… Pandemics are not a “real big threat,”

North Korea is not our foe.

And we all should be dying in a painful death,

So the wealthy can keep all their dough.

 

But, how will they actually spend it, once you’ve destroyed our democracy,

We had our choices but they’ve all been dismantled,

All been dismantled, cuz,

 

You’re so vain,

You won’t wear a mask ‘cuz it’s not cool.

You’re so vain,

The safety of others, not for this fool.

This fool,

This fool!

 

Yes…

 

You’re so vain,

You won’t wear a mask ‘cuz it’s not cool.

You’re so vain,

The safety of others, not for this fool.

This fool,

This fool!

Feel free to record your version of this song on YouTube. And don’t forget to post it here!

Happy Sunday! (Due to sheltering in place, I  actually had to look at my phone to make sure I had the day right!)  I hope everyone reading this, and also those who don’t, are safe, healthy, and secure!

And, before I forget, only 2 more days before “Your Consent-The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault” is free for everyone until 4/12. Share this information with your friends. Get your copy. Call your legislators, and demand change! #CodifyConsent

Your Consent - The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault
Free from 4/7 to 4/12 http://bit.ly/YourconsentE

 

 

 

Do You Have 30 Minutes to Cure Sexual Assault?

#CodifyConsent! Help cure #SexualAssault by spreading the word!

In honor of #SAAM…. It’s FREE! Thirty minutes is all it takes to read Your Consent – The Key to Conquering Sexual Assault. It is changing the laws on Sexual Assault and Rape! Can you take 30 minutes to be part of this transformational cure?

In order to lock up offenders, we need new laws that #CodifyConsent! Without the definition for consent in our laws, we’re unable to guide behavior and hold sexual predators accountable. Can you help us make this change? Continue reading Do You Have 30 Minutes to Cure Sexual Assault?

#SAAM Starts Today!

#CAN Celebrates #SAAM
Teal is the official color for Sexual Assault Awareness Month

For many people- Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) begins today. But for those who have been sexually assaulted, #SAAM is an everyday occurrence. While we all find ways to put the past behind us, and make the most of our lives, the defilement of rape is character changing. It lives within us forever.

For the team of CAN’s Consent Outreach Ambassadors, who devote Continue reading #SAAM Starts Today!

What can COVID-19 teach us about CONSENT?

‘Terrified’ Healthcare Workers Fear Lack of Protection Against COVID-19

Many of us will soon be thanking God for our ability to check into a hospital. We’ll be counting on the help of courageous, medical front-liners, who put themselves at risk to heal us from COVID-19.

As we approach the reception desk for intake, we won’t give a second thought to signing the CONSENT form that hospitals require. We’ll happily jot down our signature and scribble our initials where required. Some of us won’t even bother reading the form. Even less will contemplate the horrific travesty and social injustice Continue reading What can COVID-19 teach us about CONSENT?

Today- Harvey’s Words Revealed It ALL!

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I was happy to be a part of history this morning, if only to “stand and wait” at the sentencing for Harvey Weinstein. Even the few “public seats” were given to the press. Only a handful of onlookers without press passes were allowed into the crowded courtroom.

The first person who the police cut off had been waiting since 6:10 AM for proceedings that were scheduled to start at 9:30. I’d arrived around 7:20 and was the 9th person on the waiting line. But as the group stood hopefully, even Continue reading Today- Harvey’s Words Revealed It ALL!

The Tale of the RAM and the WORM

#TheRamAndTheWorm #Worm

A ram sat on a rock looking forlorn. His eyes searched the parched earth that had yielded very little vegetation as he murmured, “Woe is me!”

“What’s wrong?” asked the little worm  who lived in a nearby tunnel.

“It’s going to be mating season soon and there are no ewes here. What’s a ram to do?” he asked.

The little worm looked up at the sky and saw a rain cloud rolling over the nearby hills. “I know,” she said. “You’re in luck!” Then she disappeared into the parched earth. Continue reading The Tale of the RAM and the WORM

Consent Accountability Ryhme

I was honored to be a speaker at this year’s Women’s March NYC, and was overwhelmed by the audience support for the Consent Accountability Rhyme.

Anyone, at any age, can learn and understand what “consent” means. This poem makes the definition for consent crystal clear. It is part of the Your Consent for Kids YouTube cartoon that every parent should watch with their children to grow a Consent Aware generation! As well, sex education classes can include it in their programs. It’s free!

We’ve had Generation X, Y and Z. Let’s create Generation “Consent Aware” for our developing kids!

Consent Accountability Rhyme

 

The words, “You Can,” mean “I consent.”

You say so with your voice.

But it’s not consent when you’re forced, or tricked,

Or scared into your choice!

CONSENT means “Freely Given,”

When you know the facts and agree.

So don’t force or trick, or try to scare,

When you want consent from me!

Watch the Your Consent for Kids cartoon and share it with everyone you know!

 

The Worst Interview Ever!

Image result for radio photo

I’m not going to mention his name. Doing so would simply ignite further acrimony. I care not to memorialize his person, but rather, to point out an all too common defect in his “shock jock” character.

“What’s this business about ‘Carnal Abuse by Deceit,'” he asked me… “Doesn’t a woman have a responsibility to protect her vagina?” Continue reading The Worst Interview Ever!

Alaska Law Maker Tackles CONSENT #IWillCodifyConsent

Alaska State Representative Geran Tarr

It’s little wonder that Alaska State Representative Geran Tarr is focused on defining CONSENT for her state’s Penal Code. Alaska has the highest ratio of rape from coast to coast; close to 3 times the national average!

On October 10th, Rep. Tarr hosted an open conversation on CONSENT which included representatives from STAR, the Consent Continue reading Alaska Law Maker Tackles CONSENT #IWillCodifyConsent

#CodifyConsent to Conquer #SexualAssault!

Image result for election photos

Elect candidates who pledge: #IWillCodifyConsent!

Codifying CONSENT into law is the critical key to conquering  sexual assault! Yet no US state or territory actually defines the noun, CONSENT in its laws. How can we know what the verb “to consent” means without knowing what the noun, “consent,” actually means?

……..We can’t!

 

No law can list all the many ways a crime can take place. Telling us some non-permitted sexual behaviors fails to convey the wide range Continue reading #CodifyConsent to Conquer #SexualAssault!

Cuomo & #TimesUp Extend Limitations on Rape Cases

Governor Andrew Cuomo signing statute of limitations extension into law

September 18, NY- Flanked by a jubilant Mira Sorvino and Julianne Moore of #TimesUp, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo signed extensions to the statute of limitations for reporting rape crimes throughout NY State. First degree rape victims have no statute of limitations. Second and third degree rape victims will have 20 and 10 years respectively.

Mira Sorvino made a heartfelt statement thanking the Governor but overlooking the most obvious and transformative change that’s still needed to actually conquer sexual assault….. enacting the correct definition for #Consent into the laws of New York: “Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement, #FGKIA!” Continue reading Cuomo & #TimesUp Extend Limitations on Rape Cases

FREE Divorce! How some insidious people do it!

#FreeDivorce! Wouldn’t it be great if we could simply get divorced by signing the judge’s name to our divorce decree? What a tumultuous burden would be lifted off our shoulders!

No more haggling about custody issues or child support….. Who gets the dog, the car, the beach house? Say nothing about the outrageous legal bill! But instead, couples tear each other apart through weeks, Continue reading FREE Divorce! How some insidious people do it!