Get out your rock ‘n roll shoes! CMT’s February release of Sun Records, the story of the creation of rock n’ roll, promises to be a big hit for country music fans! For me, however, it’s the story of heinous, callous and personally harmful deceit; a treachery that stole food right out of the mouths of both my child and me, and caused indescribable pain. Continue reading #SunRecords and the Shameful Back-Story of Deceit
Elvis’s doctor, George C. Nichopoulos, died yesterday. He was 88. Although he was acquitted of criminal charges concerning overdosing Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, and others, he was ultimately stripped of his medical license in 1981 for over-subscribing drugs. Continue reading What does Elvis’ Doc, George Nichopoulos, have to do with Sexual Assault by Fraud?
My son contacted me on Thanksgiving
After an absence of eight years, he either decided to taunt me or absurdly thought that leaving me a voicemail message of “I love you” from a blocked phone, would be appreciated. As if that wasn’t painful enough…. Continue reading Holiday Struggles- Lament and Loss
I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me “Rape by Fraud isn’t Real Rape!”
Back in 1982, Susan Estrich,
- Fox News Legal Commentator,
- University of Southern California Law Professor,
- First female to become President of Harvard Law Review,
- Campaign Manager for Dukakis/Bentzen’s Presidential bid,
launched her account of rape by fraud. Guess what the name of her book is…… Real Rape.
Susan Estrich is my hero! Without her brave attempt at setting Continue reading Overt vs. Covert Rape- What’s the difference?
And for me, it’s the saddest day of the year. The son who I adore estranged himself from me 8 years ago. It doesn’t get easier.
Editor’s Note: A recent comment by my FL buddy, Lauren, who’d fallen prey to a relationship hoax, reminded me of this post that I’d written about a year ago. She confided that she affectionately told her boyfriend that he seemed to be dosing her with “Love Potion #9.” Little did she know that sociopaths are masters at stirring up our brain chemistry to attract and hook us to them.
Romantic “chemistry” really does attract us and link us to a mate.
Love Potion #9 was one of the most popular songs of 1959. It was written by Lieber and Stoller and originally recorded by The Clovers. It was published by the Aberbach brothers who owned Hill & Range Songs Inc. It’s been covered by over twenty five other artists since its original release. Although it’s a spoof on a chemical concoction that makes people fall in love, it’s not so far from the truth.
Addicted to love
Romantic love has recently been shown to be a chemical addiction, similar to drugs and alcohol, but, when all goes well, it supports our love life instead of diminishing it. The chief chemical component in romantic love is oxytocin, a neurotransmitter. Produced in the brain, it creates a sense of trust and cleaves us to our love interest.
When love goes very wrong
When we’re betrayed, although we may feel abused and defiled, we might continue clinging to the offender because we need to replace the “loved” feeling oxytocin, and the other neurotransmitters, created. The immediate cessation of the chemicals we recognize as love, may cause us to bond more powerfully in an addicted-like fashion that we’re unaware of. Just like an alcoholic craves a drink when they attempt to abstain, a person experiencing betrayal can feel a heightened sense of attachment. The result could be described as being stuck in toxic glue.
The best exit strategy
Having “no contact” with the offender is the best way to free ourselves of destructive loving bonds. Doing so enables us to get rid of the desire and longing that accompanies separation. But it’s extremely difficult for the victim to undertake this type of hyper-separation and it’s all too easy for a predator to misuse brain chemistry to wangle back into their life.
Victims must be able to see the forest, not just the trees, that are blocking the big picture.
The irony in a song
Interestingly, the Aberbach fortune existed in the backdrop of the personal harm I endured from my ex. Hill & Range Songs owned a 50% share of Elvis Presley, 10% of the Beatles, and 75% of the music coming out of Nashville. They owned the lion’s share of all the popular hits of the ’50s and ’60s.
My estranged husband was harbored by Jean Aberbach’s widow while he abandoned our child and deprived me of child support. As related in my book, Carnal Abuse by Deceit, (rt click to link,) the irony of oxytocin’s relationship with Love Potion #9 is particularly poignant for me.
Many of us who suffered through emotional abuse feel our sorrow more intensely during the holiday season. As we see families come together in love and support, we’re reminded of the happiness we lost.
But did we really lose it? Or did we simply lose the image of what we’d hoped for, that was never to be? Often, holidays with emotional predators were as painful, and perhaps more so, than any other day. Continue reading Create A New Tradition of Joy!
This post initially appeared on November 14, 2014:
William Allen Jordan, who defrauded NJ resident Mischele Lewis of sex and money, took a plea deal, for 3 years behind bars, today! In addition, he’ll be required to pay $4,383 in restitution, and a $15,000 fine. He can have no contact with Lewis for the rest of his life. His sentence begins on February 6, 2015.
There’s a great deal more to the back story!
I was contacted to help Mischele because I’d authored a book about the romance scam that happened to me, Carnal Abuse by Deceit. My book was published 4 months prior to hearing about Mischele, and my intent was to raise awareness and help victims like her recover from Rape by Fraud or Deception. I was encouraged that the book, indeed, was hitting its mark and spent countless hours speaking with Mischele by phone, through emails and in person.
Putting a name on the behavior enables society to discuss and understand the problem. Up until my book launched on November 20, 2013, hardly a soul talked about or understood this defiling and heart wrenching crime.
Donna Anderson, another blogger, introduced Mischele and me. She’d read and reviewed Carnal Abuse by Deceit on her blog and reached out to me for guidance. My book had been out for about 4 months at the time.
NJ no longer uses the term “rape” in their penal code. Instead, they label such crimes as “sexual assault.” While they lack specific language to define sexual assault by fraud or deception, their “consent” definition is clear that deception negates consent.
Jordan was arrested
At Mischele’s request, I wrote an analysis of the applicable NJ laws for the police. Donna, Mischele and I all went to the precinct together to file the complaint against Jordan, and I gave the police the summary and two copies of Carnal Abuse by Deceit. Two days later, they arrested Jordan for 3rd degree sexual assault by coercion, 2nd degree robbery by fraud, and impersonating an officer.
While I dealt with determining what statutes applied, Donna worked on a story for the Daily Mail and arranged a photographer to snap pictures of Jordan’s arrest.
Jordan, a convicted child molester and bigamist, had created an elaborate con to hoodwink Mischele into a sexual and emotional relationship. He should have been listed as a sex offender on Meagan’s List. Because he was convicted in the UK, his crimes went unreported when the British authorities drop-kicked his lying butt across the Atlantic to prey on the women of New Jersey.
What I found deeply disturbing about Jordan was that he goes after women with daughters. I felt that the prosecutor should have pressed harder to put a previously convicted child sex offender, who continued to go after women with young daughters, behind bars.
The grand jury failed to indict Jordan for sexual assault by coercion because he had not coerced Lewis. Quite the contrary; he had charmed her. In fact, when I watched his behavior in the courtroom, I was surprised by his overly gracious, even solicitous, demeanor. When he pleaded a point to the judge, I was amused that he tried to persuade him with charm. But the judge was unmoved by it.
In New Jersey, “coercion” means the threat of harm, including non-violent harm toward yourself or others. Jordan never used threats to seduce Mischele. In some states, coercion also includes concealment, but not in New Jersey.
Although on Dateline, Mischele stated that the sexual assault charge didn’t prevail because Jordan was not violent toward her, that was not the case. Violence is not required to arrest for sexual assault in New Jersey. The Grand Jury failed to indict because the Prosecutor used “coercion.” The charge could not stick under New Jersey’s definition of the term. I was puzzled why the prosecutor insisted on pursuing that course and advised that it would fail. I believed that either “Sexual Assault” or “Aggravated Sexual Assault” (because Jordan committed theft crimes against her that would raise the level of the charge) would have worked.
Unfortunately, the prosecutor was aware that Mischele was in the process of securing a publisher for her story. She had read about Jordan in a book written by one of his previous wives, Mary Turner Thomas, and intended to do the same. While the prosecutor suspected her of chasing the limelight, the involvement of myself and Donna, two authors with significant blog followings and media connections, made it difficult to ignore her case entirely, Also, Mischele’s behavior, searching for a man on a site called “Established Men,” made her look like a gold-digger…. not a victim who’d evoke sympathy as a test case for sexual assault by deception.
Jordan pleaded guilty to the two remaining charges. impersonation and theft. But, as I’d warned, the grand jury failed to indict on sexual assault by coercion.”
After Jordan’s sentencing hearing, I talked with Steve Eife, the Assistant District Attorney who tried the case, about the choice he’d made. I asked him why he hadn’t charged Jordan with sexual assault, as I’d suggested. I argued that the case would have revolved around “consent” not “coercion.” I reminded him that Jordan had admitted to lying in order to defraud her of money. Those same lies defrauded her of sex.
I also reminded him of Model Penal Code’s definition of “consent” that appears in New Jersey’s criminal code….
“Consent is ineffective when induced by deception.”
Eife denied that Model Penal Code applied in New Jersey. After our conversation, I went back to my research and found those exact, specific terms in the New Jersey statutes. Even more recently, I had a similar discussion with Eife’s boss, Burlington County Chief Prosecutor, Robert Bernardi, who stated the same ignorance of the law: “We’re not a Model Penal Code state,” he said.
Here’s a link to a post I wrote concerning that conversation. I call it “Dumb and Dumber in Suits.”
I challenged Bernardi to look up the consent definition in NJ Penal Code and even told him the page where the definition, using Model Penal Code’s language, was located. I never heard back from him. He’s subsequently retired.
The Ongoing Battle
Meanwhile, Assemblyman Troy Singleton took up the fight to patch the hole Jordan slipped through in the prosecutor’s mind. Although I’d been very specific to Mischele and Asm. Singleton about what was needed in the law, Mischele disregarded my advice. She was intent to prove, for her book, that she’d created the law all on her own. Instead, she created terrible backlash that sent passing this needed law back several years.
My recent release, Combating Romance Scams defines the basis and language for a law that can end this painful and defiling crime. It contains easily replicated wording that can be passed by every state to enlighten society and provide victims with justice! Prosecutors like Eife and Bernardi, who don’t understand what consent really means, would have a much clearer path to convict offenders.
I was recently honored to meet NY State Governor Andrew Cuomo, and to put Combating Romance Scams into his hands. I was introduced to the Governor by Assembly Member, Rebecca Seawright, who is studying this issue in order to outlaw rape by fraud or deception throughout New York.
Combating Romance Scams is available in both paperback and electronic form. When you purchase the paperback, the e-version is free, and you can lend it out to anyone you chose. By doing so, you can be an important part of spreading the word to enlighten society!
Sexual assault by fraud is a crime epidemic. If you’ve been snagged by a sexual predator or need help recovering from a romance scam, I’m just an email message away. Write to me at StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com.
Elvis, and the business interests that surrounded him, factored heavily in the book that is making a difference in society’s views, and laws, on sexual assault!- Carnal Abuse by Deceit.
In concert, (no pun intended), with the timing for the CMA awards, I’ve learned that November 13th is the target date for submitting a sexual assault by fraud bill in the NJ Assembly.
Please note: This is an unconfirmed but likely date. I will post again when the word becomes official.