Tag Archives: #romance

Bravo India! Miscarriage without consent!

Jagdishpur, Uttar Pradesh, India
Jagdishpur, Uttar Pradesh, India

Jagdishpur,  India- According to The Times of India, the wife of a man identified as  Moimuddin, turned-in her husband to the authorities for defrauding another woman for sex. She reported the elicit affair when she learned that her husband had deceived a widow, for two years, into thinking he was eligible and Continue reading Bravo India! Miscarriage without consent!

Catfish Law Featured on Mogul

Are #Catfish #Romance #scams against the law?
Catfish Romance Scams

Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Sometimes, the victim never meets the offender, even though the relationship can Continue reading Catfish Law Featured on Mogul

LOVE – There’s no magic. It’s science!

#love is an #addiction!

 

Love is an addiction!

This valuable post on InsideScience (rt clk) comprehensively explains the activity in your brain when you fall in love. While we consider love an emotion, there is very specific Continue reading LOVE – There’s no magic. It’s science!

Do two wrongs make a right? Hacking Ashley Madison

Hacking of Ashley Madison
Noel Biderman, creator of Ashley Madison

I can vividly recall the lessons my mother taught me about character. When I was just a little girl, she drove home the concept that no one had the right to harm another, no matter what.

Nope, she didn’t want me to be a pushover for wrongdoers. In her eyes, everyone had the right to defend themselves from harm and Continue reading Do two wrongs make a right? Hacking Ashley Madison

Sexual Predators Beware- Sexual Battery By Fraud is Charged in CA!

 

 

Hindu Monk arrested for sexual assault by fraud

Bill Cosby is far from the only person in the news who seemed to deceive women into sex. Gokula Nanda, age 62, was charged with Sexual Battery, Sexual Battery by Fraud and Sexual Penetration by Fraud in Torrance CA. Nanda is alleged to have used sex acts as a means of exploitation while claiming to be a Hindu Monk.  Continue reading Sexual Predators Beware- Sexual Battery By Fraud is Charged in CA!

Little white lies

liar

Common Sense Can’t Stop Rape By Fraud

Who would suspect a man who tells you he’s educated is a high school drop out? Why would you possibly think he’s lying if he says he has no kids or is single, while his wife of 17 years is at home caring for his 3 children. What would trigger your fears when the supporting Facebook page for his business is nothing more than a scam that hides his three stretches in Attica. And when he shows you medical documents that indicate he’s healthy, why would you suspect they’re forged and he’s deliberately passing along HIV?

Yes, there are cases that sound outlandish to the viewing public…….a man tells you he’s an operative for the British Defense Ministry, a sort of, James Bond.

Who would believe such outrageous nonsense?

When you hear the “James Bond” victim’s story, her ability to plot-out his arrest, you wonder who conned whom. On national TV, she boasted about using a pocketbook spy cam to create a “sting” operation and how she lured him into the hands of the waiting police, creating fodder for her book deal. But the schemes that hoax most victims are far more compelling, insidious and heartbreaking.

A victim is a victim

Don’t get me wrong, people who get “punked” in outlandish scams deserve the same protections against sexual assault by fraud as everyone else, even though the more “out there” the tale, the more difficult it is for society to relate. But it’s the frauds that are so entirely plausible, the “honest-sounding lies,” that are even more sinister and insidious. They leave the victim feeling totally unable to protect themselves and create deeply rooted Post Traumatic Stress.

People who believe outrageous lies end up blaming themselves but recognizing that their trust was bestowed on a person who did not deserve it. A person who was raped by simple, plausible, believable character distortion; however, may never feel safe to trust again.

roseA different kind of Valentine’s rose….

Lying to induce sex IS, WAS and ALWAYS WILL BE a crime. The issue over the creation of Sexual Assault by Fraud law is not whether or not a crime takes place, but whether or not our Legislators are brave enough and moral enough to protect us from a defiling act that a significant portion of their constituents believe is just their way of having fun, their right.

To them, It’s no big deal….. it’s just a little white lie.

As a Valentine’s Day gift to yourself and society, please sign the petition to Stop Sexual Assault by Fraud today! Please add your name to the growing bouquet of signatures.

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Romance- What Needs to Change?

Romance

Often people who were victimized by an emotional predator wonder how or why they’ll ever love again. “It’s just too dangerous,” and “I won’t survive another emotion bashing episode,” are common statements. Victims often isolate themselves from romantic interaction. For them, “being alone is better than being harmed.”

If this is your mindset, you’ve come to the right place. But prepare to hear some things about yourself, as well as some changes you need to make.

  1. YOU did nothing wrong. You were targeted by a predator because you have the capacity to forgive and love. The problem is that the person you choose was an exploiter, not a lover. And they selected you because they grasped that they could manipulate you through your devotion to them.
  1. Some people are incapable of bonding and loving. You need to avoid them. In order to do so, you will have to ditch your attraction to the superficial appeal we know as “charm,” and look more deeply into a person’s character. And you need to note whether their character repeats in all the corners of their life.

Just as people without emotional empathy will never develop it, people with emotional empathy will never lose it. It’s part of their wiring. Sometimes we confuse being “sensitive” with having “emotional empathy,” which is the key to conscience and morality. But they are not the same.

Anyone can be sensitive about their own condition. They can express heartfelt need for what they want. They can dupe you into feeling sorry for them over their past. But that’s still not “emotional empathy.” A person with “emotional empathy” will automatically have a knee-jerk reaction to the pain someone else experiences. They will put themselves in the other person’s shoes and be guided by their conscience.

Instant attraction only means that the object of your affection stirs your brain chemistry. It does not mean that they are a caring, wonderful human being. Being swept off your feet can readily lead to emotional trauma rather than the lasting, durable relationship you want. So here are a few “don’ts” about finding someone to love:

online-dating

Don’t take anything you read on internet dating sites as gospel.

Everyone there is expressing the image they’d like to portray. But without verification, there could be countless lies behind their profile. Check IDs and Google anyone you meet online, no matter how badly they protest.

Don’t have sex with anyone until you’ve been introduced to their family and friends.

What’s the rush…. really? A meaningful relationship takes time and commitment. Afraid you’ll lose them if you don’t have sex with them? Guess what. That’s a person worth losing!

If you don’t live in the same town with their family, you can establish a connection through Skype or other resources. How does your love interest communicate with family? However it is, it should include you if they’re committed to making you a permanent part of their life. If they don’t communicate regularly with their family, it’s a very large, vigorously waving, red-flag.

Don’t believe that a man over 45 or a woman over 35 has NO children.

Unless they have a physical condition that prevents procreation, the statistical likelihood that they have no children is a rarity.  If they have yet to introduce you to their children, they could be hiding a seriously checkered past.

Don’t look for “love” on dating sites that depict people as “wealthy” or “millionaires.”

Most people with assets want protection from “Gold-Diggers” and will not flaunt this aspect of their identity. Why would anyone try to attract a person who prioritizes their interest in finding “wealth?” Emotional predators lurk on these sites because the participants are tipping them off about what floats their boats. It gives them ammunition to produce an elaborate scam to snag you.

Don’t believe what people tell you about their “ex.”

You’re receiving that information through a very biased prism, one that is sure to make them look like the victim, not the offender. Even if they admit to infidelity, what does that tell you? It should alert you that they can justify betrayal, and YOU will be the recipient this time around.

roamnce 2

So what’s a safer way to find true love?

First off, you need to feel that you’re okay without a relationship. You can stand on your own two feet and live a fulfilling, meaningful life. You can find joy in the activities and relationships you treasure.  Allowing a person inside your inner circle is an intimacy you bestow on them.

Mankind was built to “couple.” We feel our best when we can express love and support for another human being. So inevitably, our interest in finding a significant other will resurface.  Some “do’s” about engaging in romance once again are ..…

“Do” things that make your life worthwhile.

Enjoying your interests will bring you into the path of others who appreciate the same things. Whether it’s religion, art, cooking, the environment, sports, dancing, boating, etc., participate in groups that put you in the company of people who share your preferences.

Do look carefully at how they interact with others, not just you.

Do they “objectify” the people around them, the waiter, the valet, the clerk at the store? Or do they treat everyone with respect and appreciation?

Do they have a history of good-intentions?

It’s easy for wealthy people to give money to causes. It provides them with tax benefits. But do they give their time and pass along help and support when it’s needed? Have they been preoccupied with making money all their lives, or have they stopped along the way to make the world a better place?

Do evaluate what is truly important to you.

Sometimes, in looking at what attracted you to a predator, you’ll see you may have placed importance on superficial value. If you continue to put your interests in the wrong place, you’ll find the wrong person once again. You’ll need to readjust your priorities.

Einstein

 

Albert Einstein coined two very relevant phrases that apply to finding new love after a predatory relationship:

 

  • Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

  • A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new

So, forgive yourself for the choice you made. Recognize that you need to be far more circumspect in your future decisions… not because you were ‘wrong” but because character disordered people share our planet. Your mother never told you because she didn’t know. Mine put up with my abusive father for many decades. So, like me, you learned the hard way. Go forward, not backward with that knowledge.

While I’m quoting Einstein, there’s one more of his phrases that guides me in my efforts to enlighten people about rape by fraud and recover from it:

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.

I hope you’ll help me spread the word!