Tomorrow is an important day for CATFISH PROFILE SURVIVORS in NY!
The NY State Assembly Standing Committee on Consumer Affairs and Protection, along with the Assembly Standing Committee on Aging and the Subcommittee on Consumer Fraud Protection, are holding a public hearing on scams against seniors.
I’m sure the issue Robert Hume raised in his comment elsewhere on this blog is one that troubles many people who hear about sexual assault by fraud, so I thought I’d deal with it in a post. Robert’s words offer considerable insight…..
And what is more I find your assertions offensive! Through your argument you are calling me, my brother, my mother, two of my best friends, and several of my colleges, rapists. How dare you!? I am outraged at such an accusation. This offends me deeply.
It’s my belief that Robert is stating that he thinks all these folks lie to defraud people of sex. If I’m misunderstanding, I apologize, and I’ll quickly correct what I’m saying.
Nobody likes being shamed!
I certainly don’t and I can’t imagine why anyone else would either, unless they have some kinky quirks! Shaming people is not my intent when I point out that defrauding a person of sex is a sexual assault. My interest is to protect victims, not shame offenders, even though the offender’s actions are, indeed, shameful.
A major factor in the commission of a crime is “Criminal Intent.” If society has yet to deem it a crime, you certainly couldn’t be perceived as a criminal for conducting yourself in a specific manner.
I think Robert’s comment shows that he does, in fact, now recognize his past behavior was shameful, and he’s tranferring the blame for the shame he feels on me, for bringing it to his attention. I certainly did not make him do the things he did in the past that he may regret in retrospect.
Tryon Edwards, a theologian who died before the 1900s once said:
Right actions for the future are the best apology for bad actions in the past.
Some laws get tossed aside, and new ones get enacted. We don’t go backwards in time to throw people in jail because they committed an offense that wasn’t considered a crime at the time of their actions. Once a crime is established, however, the concept of “ignorance is no excuse,” applies because society has recognized the behavior as indecent. And whether you knew it was indecent or not, society had determined it was indecent, and holds all its members to specific standards.
Penal code simply codifies what behaviors will be penalized and what won’t. Just because something does not appear in criminal code does not make it right. Behaviors that appear in criminal code tomorrow are the same behaviors that may not appear in criminal code today. Again, just because they’re not currently punished, does not make them right or decent.
Tomorrow’s a new day
I believe that society will wake up and understand the gross harm that the behavior of defrauding someone for sex causes them. And I’m willing to go on record about my views in order to create a change and prevent further harm. Society does not evolve without the efforts of those who bring about that change.
I hope that by this post, and other discussions that go on throughout society, Robert becomes more aware of the significant harm created by lying to someone to induce sex, and that he’ll refrain from doing so in the future. I also hope he’ll discuss this issue with the folks around him because it appears they could use some enlightenment!
BTW- This is my 100th post on this blog. I thank everyone who’s contributed thus far to getting the message across about the harm in defrauding people for sex.
Billy Tamawiwy was declared guilty today on charges that he used deceit to obtain consent to sex from a teen aged boy. His elaborate hoax included alcohol and pretending he was a woman. Seems he told the victim that having sex with him was a requirement to having Continue reading Guilty of sexual assault by fraud in Australia!→
I received this comment from a reader this morning. I’m posting it for reasons that may not be exactly what you think as you follow it. Here’s what “Tracey” had to say…….
I’ve been a victim now for many years and I have decided to break my silence. My body has been violated, and my sense of trust has been forever lost. It all started on a Friday night after work. I was at Continue reading Are You For Real?→
My wish for every rape by fraud victim, as we celebrate the independence that set our country free, is freedom from the pervasive bondage of defilement that binds hearts and impedes souls. Continue reading Free.. from rape…. at last?→
A recent Valeriya Safronova article in the NY Times focused on the act of sudden, unexpected withdrawal and non-communication in romantic relationships. It shines a light on the cruel act that many victims in toxic relationships refer to as being discarded.
Here’s a clever video that simplifies sexual “consent”. It gets the point across that if you ask someone if they want tea, you shouldn’t force them to take it, and includes a variety of very plausible scenarios.
Unfortunately, it also contains some gratuitous strong language, but hey, after all, it’s about sex. Presumably, we’re all adults.