Thanks to Maureen Harrison for pointing out the penal code conundrum in Texas.
While the Longhorn State is long on “consent” definitions, they apply to theft but not sexual assault.
Texas legislators make the same outrageous mistake other legislators make. They act as if the meaning of the word changes Continue reading Texas Needs a “Consent” Overhaul!
David Mack deserves an award for his outstanding article on Rape by Fraud in today’s BuzzFeed!
In The Wrong Man, he captures the horrific sexual deception committed by Purdue University student, Donald “Grant” Ward, explains the suffering of his victim, Abigail Finney, and enlightens us about the legal confusion that mires the understanding of society, legislators and law enforcement alike over sexual assault. Continue reading BuzzFeed Zooms-In on Rape by Fraud!
I’ve researched sexual assault laws across the country and back again. As a survivor, the author of 3 books on the subject and a TEDx Talk presenter, I can tell you, emphatically that we have so much sexual assault in our nation because our lawmakers are principally male!
Century after century, men have created the laws that kept us “LESS THAN!” We need to change this dynamic, and we need to do it NOW!
Seventy-six percent of the states and territories of the United States fail to define CONSENT in their laws.
I have fought to change this for the past 10 years. Today, a legislator in NY and another in Indiana, if re-elected, have pledged to adopt new laws on sexual assault in their states. They are Asm. Rebecca Seawright, a Democrat in NY City, NY, and Representative Sally Siegrist, a Republican in West Lafayette, Indiana. If you live in either location, and want to see a change in the prosecution of sex crimes, vote these ladies back into office!
As an advocate, I’ve spoken to men and women on both sides of the aisle. The single most common male-legislator resistance I receive to rightly defining consent in our laws is that our courts would be overwhelmed with sexual assault cases. Every time I hear this absurdity it blows my mind! Without realizing it, what they are saying is that they know how frequently sex crimes defile victims, but they are okay doing nothing about it!
Let’s all pull together to stop this nonsense!
Get women into positions of power that can shut down the volume of sex crimes for this generation and every generation to come! #Vote4Women!
Watch and share this TEDxTalk! Show it to your next powerful, female legislator!
Hurdling the road blocks
None of the states or territories of the US properly define “consent” in their laws. 76% of the states and territories of the US have NO provisions for consent in their penal code. 24% have provisions that poorly define consent and only make prosecution possible in a small amount of cases. Here are the three largest obstructions that keep lawmakers from adopting correct consent laws, right out of their own mouths: Continue reading 3 Roadblocks that Prevent Prosecution for Sexual Assault
It’s become pretty obvious why we have so much sexual assault in the US. It’s because our law makers enable it! We need to overcome this hurdle.
Since the beginning of time, consent was, is, and always will be the same…… freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement…… even though, throughout the US, our laws fail to define consent properly. Failing to “define consent properly” contributes to rape.
Ridiculous excuses that prevent our laws from protecting us abound. Opposition stems from the ignorance of people with rape mentalities and law makers who want their votes, whether they have a rape mentality or not. All the road blocks come down to the same thing……
“If we recognize what consent actually is….. too many people will go to jail.”
But if a person defiles another person, a harm that can forever impact their entire journey through life, shouldn’t there be prohibitions and penalties against doing so? And doesn’t that victim deserve justice?
Laws change morality!
Generation after generation believed that enslaving another man, woman or child was acceptable behavior. People were barbarically ripped from their families and transported by ship to our shores to be marketed for sale in plain sight. It took changing our laws to stop that grotesque cannibalization of humanity.
Until we stop tolerating the omission of fact in our laws and in our minds, that no one has the right to touch another human being without their freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, sexual assault will continue unabated in the US. It’s that simple.
The only thing that will stop sexual assault is a law that clearly states what consent is: freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement. #FGKIA!
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Your Consent, the Key to Conquering Sexual Assault will soon be available on Amazon. To secure a pre-release PDF, with 100% of your purchase price supporting #FGKIA, use this link.
Legislators and Educators can purchase the PDF for bulk distribution for a fraction of Amazon’s cost by using this link.
Kavanaugh’s appointment illustrates a deep divide in our culture between the male and female sense of sexual assault, sexual entitlement and accountability.
Although not all women and not all men have the same opinion, by and large, when it comes to adopting laws to define CONSENT the Continue reading Lysistrata Anyone? Withholding Sex to Stop #FGKIA Conflict
Was Saturday’s US Open match a clear case of misogyny? Can we infer that the official, Carlos Ramos, acted out of contempt for women?
For those who are unaware of the circumstance, the short story is that Serena Williams was given three successive and progressive penalties, which arguably could have made a difference in the outcome of the match. The unfortunate result is that the actions of Continue reading #Serena and #Consent
July 25, 2018- NYC- A major milestone to define CONSENT took place today! Subsequent to my TEDx Talk, “When YES Means NO, the Truth About Consent,” two legislators, Indiana State Representative, Sally Siegrist (R) and NY State Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright (D) pledged their bipartisan support to establish a clear definition for consent in the laws of their respectively red and blue states. This meeting of the minds shows that no matter what your politics, we can all unite against sexual assault!
Rep. Siegrist, who successfully fought for legislation to curb human trafficking in Indiana in last year’s legislative session, is determined to conquer sexual assault for her state. Here’s the link to her newsletter. Together with Assembly Member Seawright, a long time champion for women’s rights and the former Chair of the Board of the Feminist Press, they make a powerful pair!
Clearly defining consent will enable the police, prosecutors, judges and jurors to hold sexual predators accountable under the law and prevent the confusion between what constitutes “bad sex” or an actual sexual assault.
“Confusion over what consent actually is makes it difficult for society to comprehend. Our laws don’t tell us the definition. They only tell us what “consent” is not. We need laws to express the real meaning of consent…. Freely Given, Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement, #FGKIA,” says Short.
Both Indiana and NY will have legislative efforts to drive the issue of consent forward, and YOU can help! If you’ve been the victim of a sexual assault in either Indiana or NY and would like to speak out at a legislative hearing on this issue, please complete the totally private form below.
Also, if you are interested in helping to get other states to focus on this issue, please complete the form that follows.
In her very first question for our radio interview, Kaity Kline, Public Affairs Director for Rowan Radio On Demand, 89.7 WGLS FM, wanted to know; Why is it sexual assault even when the victim doesn’t expressly say “no” – like in the case of accused sexual predator, Harvey Weinstein?
On May 30th, at the Hay Festival in Hay-on-Wye Wales, an annual literature and arts festival, Germaine Greer made some devastatingly damaging claims about rape including that rape is just ”bad sex” and calling for lower penalties for sexual assault. Greer is an author and academic born in Australia and residing in the UK.
Her comments not only fly in the face of #MeToo and #TimesUp, but also my TEDxYouth@UrsulineAcademy talk (#TEDxUA and #TEDxUrsulineAcademy) that’s soon to be released.
Here’s how the NY Times quoted her:
“Most rapes don’t involve any injury whatsoever,” she said. “Centuries of writing and thinking about rape — as inflicted by men on women — have got us nowhere.” Rape, she said, should be viewed as a “lazy, careless and insensitive” act.
“Every time a man rolls over on his exhausted wife and insists on enjoying his conjugal rights, he is raping her,” she said. “It will never end up in a court of law.” She added, “Instead of thinking of rape as a spectacularly violent crime — and some rapes are — think about it as nonconsensual, that is, bad sex.”
She said the penalty should be 200 hours of community service: “If we are going to say trust us, believe us, if we do say that our accusation should stand as evidence, then we have to reduce the tariff for rape.” (In England, the maximum sentence for rape can be life in prison.)
At one point, Ms. Greer said the punishment could be an “r” tattooed to the rapist’s hand, arm or cheek.
Every human being deserves the right to freely give knowledgeable and informed agreement #FGKIA every time they engage in sexual conduct. Without that willingness to engage, – whether undermined by force, duress or ripped from them by deception – they are being assaulted, not seduced. Force, otherwise known as violence, is only one of several ways a victim is deprived of consent (#FGKIA.) But all nonconsensual sex harms the victim. And everyone engaging in sex is entitled to consent to both the action itself and the actor.
Our laws must reflect the proper definition of consent…. #FGKIA! in order to properly deal with sexual assaults of all kinds. Properly defining consent as freely given knowledgeable and informed agreement, #FGKIA, is the solution….. not decriminalizing this egregious and life altering crime!
A handcuffed Harvey Weinstein made his way into court today in lower Manhattan charged with rape and a criminal sex act. Whether he gets locked away or not will depend largely on whether Cy Vance, the Manhattan District Attorney, makes the case for applying the Continue reading Harvey Weinstein clearly lacked “consent!”
For anyone thinking of undertaking a TED or TEDx Talk, let me say that it will be one of the most challenging and gratifying performances you’ll ever make.
I’m used to public speaking. I’ve been an outspoken advocate for my community for many years. But the task of coalescing approximately Continue reading #TEDxUA Was Awesome! Will it help turn the corner on Sexual Assault?
My TEDx Talk is just around the corner!
“When ‘Yes’ Means ‘No’; The truth about ‘Consent'” will air live from Ursuline Academy in Wilmington DE, on Sunday, May 20th. As I write, I have no idea what time I’m scheduled. And I’m not likely to be able to post again ’til after my talk, because I’ll be away.
You can get updated information by logging onto TEDx and signing up for news and updates which will fill you in on scheduling and all pertinent information.
As most of you who follow me or read this blog are aware, I’ve long advocated for laws to change the legal landscape on the derisive and covert acts of sexual assault that many of us experienced at the hands of narcissists or other sexual predators. My talk will lay the groundwork for a law that we can pass to end the madness!
I hope you’ll watch and call your legislators to insist they pass the law I’m proposing. If you miss the live streaming on Sunday, you can log onto TEDx Youth at Ursuline Academy at any time on or after May 20th to see and support this effort. Your comments and support would be greatly appreciated!
Together, we can make our voices heard. Call your legislators! Tell them to pass the language you hear into law to make the world a safer place for everyone!
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My deepest gratitude goes out to the staff of NY State Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright, Hillary Barr and Esther Muller of Charles Rutenberg NYC (Realty), and the folks at the Roosevelt Island Senior Center for their feedback and support!
In the state of Delaware, their penal code defines what “consent” is NOT- but fails to correctly define what consent actually IS, #FGKIA– Freely Given Knowledgeable and Informed Agreement.
By providing a laundry list of recognized bad behaviors that can be prosecuted, rather than simply holding everyone accountable for securing consent in ALL sexual conduct, Delaware’s laws give a free pass to sexual predators who prey on victims in ways that don’t appear on their list.
Continue reading Delaware- “Non-Consent,” but not “Consent,” Muddies Their Laws
Virginia’s Penal Code addresses rape by fraud in a clear manner. Using “ruse” to undermine a victim’s consent is considered Sexual Battery, a Class 1 misdemeanor.
Crimes like the one committed by Donald Ward in Indiana, should qualify as Sexual Battery by Ruse in Virginia. Ward crept into the bed of a sleeping co-ed at Purdue University and engaged her in sex. The victim was asleep in her boyfriend’s bed and believed Ward was him.
Virginia’s treatment of sexual assaults is sensible. Their penal code divides misconduct by forcible and aggravated cases and lessor crimes. Initial violent convictions result in felony charges, but repeat misdemeanor offenses will raise the level of the charge to a felony.
Most sexual battery offenses, whether violent or not, will result in mandatory registration on the sex offender list.
Additionally, Virginia will prosecute offenders who transmit Aids, HIV, Hepatitis B or Syphillis.
If you’ve been sexually assaulted through a ruse in Virginia, please notify me at StopRomanceScams@ymail.com.
Code of Virginia § 18.2-67.4 – Sexual battery
18.2-67.4. Sexual battery.
A. An accused is guilty of sexual battery if he sexually abuses, as definedin 18.2-67.10, (i) the complaining witness against the will of the complaining witness, by force, threat, intimidation, or ruse.
B. Sexual battery is a Class 1 misdemeanor.
Until #MeToo, rape mentality was far more widespread than society recognized. The fact that so many celebrities, politicians, successful businessmen and more were recently exposed for abhorrent sexual acts, shows how well-hidden rape mentality has been. Even the President of the United States thinks that forcing his wife into sex is acceptable behavior – a recognition that Continue reading What is Rape Mentality and How Can We Stop It?
Lafayette IN- Donald Grant Ward, was found “not guilty” of rape by fraud by an Indiana court on Tuesday, Feb 6, 2018. Ward, a Purdue student, was accused of stealing into the victim’s bed, under the cover of darkness, and pretending to be her lover. He was not acquitted on the merits of the accusation, but rather on whether, in Indiana, his conduct constituted a crime. The verdict clearly demonstrates that Indiana’s rape laws need fixing! Continue reading Scathing Rape by Fraud Loss in Indiana!
Colorado revised their statutes on sex crimes in 2016. In doing so, they recognized certain, but not all, rape by fraud crimes.
Their laws make a critical distinction between sex crimes with or without penetration. The former is “sexual assault.” The later is “sexual contact.” The degree of the crime determines the ultimate Continue reading Colorado’s Rape Laws- Updated, but antiquated!
To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
I sure hope it is. Stay tuned!
You can help by reading Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! and calling your legislators to demand #FGKIA law.
Will #TimesUp, the new sexual harassment awareness effort by prominent women of stature, ignite the fire that eradicates sexual assault? If they do the following, they will!!
Standardize CONSENT PROVISIONS in penal codes
across the US and beyond!
#MeToo exposed the problem of sexual assault and harassment. Now we need to go the next step and secure the solution!
Why is correctly defining and standardizing “consent” so important? Continue reading #TimesUp and The Importance of #FGKIA!
