No matter how sexual assault takes place, the victim will suffer a permanent loss.
Being sexually violated, in any form, will have a profound impact on your sense of self. Whether you were violently assaulted, or whether you were violated through the insidious, manipulative breach of your self determination by lies, you will need to grieve your loss in order to recover.
We can never go back in time to reclaim our un-raped self, but we can advance through the stages of grief and loss to achieve emotional stability once again.
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network provides an informative post that explains the stages of recovery from sexual assault. It’s important for victims of sexual assault by fraud to understand that the same characteristics of recovery apply to them as well.
- Victims can go through denial and attempt to repress their sense of loss.
- They could endlessly ruminate, becoming obsessed with the harm they suffered.
- They could try to ameliorate the problem by moving away or changing jobs.
- They could have interrupted sleep patterns, weight gain or loss, and deep depression.
Seek help!
Not all family and friends of rape by fraud sufferers understand the devastation in this crime. Hopefully, society has begun to speak about and recognize it. But even your normal support system may not be enough to pick you up from deep depression and help you stop ruminating.
When you find your life impaired by helplessness, anger, anxiety, rumination, trust issues, or other related affects, seek the aid of a professional who has experience with sociopathic behavior and recovery for sexual assault victims
Loss and defeat are two different things. Rape is a loss but, by no means, is it a defeat. People who struggle to feel that they were never raped fight a losing battle. By acknowledging our loss, we can put it in perspective and move on.
Rape is not who you are. It’s what happened to you.
Permanent Loss sounds like the victimized person will never really recover fully, like they will be defeated forever and never be whole again. I the best they can hope for emotional stability?
I would hate to think of being either a raped self or an un-raped self. If you can never be your un-raped self, then you will always be your raped self? I can’t imagine going through life thinking of myself as “raped” like it’s who and what I am. How about just being myself, who was once raped? It’s much more than semantics.