Objections to penal code on sexual assault by fraud range from uninformed to downright bizarre:
- People should just be more careful,
- Boys will be boys,
- It’s harmless,
- It happens so frequently- half of society would end up in jail,
……… and on and on!
Here are some frequently raised objections, and why they simply don’t fly:
“Victims should be more careful.”
People with this objection fail to realize that sexual predators will specifically set out to lie and thwart detection. They go to great lengths to proffer and perpetuate sexual hoaxes. They deliberately harm one unsuspecting victim after another.
Rape by fraud happens to naive people, but it also happens to very astute victims who are not easily fooled. To some offenders, undermining the emotional armor that protects the most intelligent and savvy target is especially rewarding.
A victim’s “carefulness” can be undermined by an unscrupulous offender, and naivete is not a crime. Rape is.
“They didn’t know, so no crime was committed.”
All fraud takes place as the result of the victim being overcome by the offender’s vitiation of consent. But when the victim learns they were “had,” their feelings of defilement can be overwhelming. The same would be true of date rape in which the victim was drugged and not conscious when the rape actually took place.
No rape is less of a rape because the victim did not know that it was happening to them at the time.
“Rape by fraud is really not rape.”
The generic word, “rape” is globally accepted as “non-consented sexual penetration.” While different states call it by different names, sexual assault, sexual battery, sexual misconduct, etc, “rape” refers to sexually penetrating a victim who would not knowingly consent but for the vitiation of their consent by the offender. Because society balks at the use of the term “rape” when no violence occurs, however, it’s best to use a less glaring term for non-violent acts of rape.
A recent University of North Dakota survey indicates that approximately 1 out of 3 college men would rape if they thought there would be no consequences. This figure was arrived at when the act was described but not referred to as “rape.” When the word “rape” was introduced, however, the ratio dropped to 13%.
Rape is the crime of stealing sex from someone who would not otherwise give it to you.
“Saying “yes” means consent.”
Using fraud to secure a “yes” is sexual exploitation. In all human interaction, when someone defrauds you of your assets or dupes you into conduct of any sort, they are using the tool of “fraud” to take something from you. Your consent is considered totally ineffective under the law.
Model Penal Code- “Consent is ineffective when induced by force, duress or deception.”
“Rape by fraud laws would punish people for wearing padded bras, lifts in their shoes, or dying their hair.”
Balderdash! A person’s appearance is either pleasing to their sexual partner or not. An appearance enhancement neither masks the nature of the act itself nor the identity or intent of the offender.
Appearance enhancements can and should be disqualified as “fraud” in rape by fraud law.
“This law is just another way to make society more of a woman’s world and undermine maleness.”
I view that comment as one of the most sexist things I’ve ever heard. In the tug of war between misogyny and misandry, some feel that rape by fraud laws favor women. Women can be just as guilty of conducting rape by fraud as men, although more rapes occur to women than men.
Rape by fraud law would protect men against gold-diggers and curtail the transmission of life-altering illness that occurrs when a sexual predator lies to hide their health condition from someone of either sex.
The law is gender neutral and provides equal protection to both men and women.
“It goes on all the time. How could laws possibly be enforced?”
First off, it shouldn’t go on all the time, and that’s exactly why this law is so important. Once it becomes law, people will recognize sexual assault by fraud as abhorrent behavior.
The proofs needed to try a case are far more substantial than simply “he said, she said.” The police can’t arrest someone without proof of a claim, the Grand Jury can’t indict, and the victim would have to have made a reasonable effort to know the truth.
Willingly jumping into bed with someone upon first meeting them would not qualify as rape by fraud. Unless the victim can substantiate that the crime, indeed, was committed against them, in keeping with all criminal arrests, no prosecution would take place.
Any arrest would require substantial proof and the victim would have to have made a reasonable effort to know the truth
“People will fabricate they were raped after the fact because they simply want to damage the innocent person who’s dumped them.”
Fabrication can take place in any claim of wrong-doing. We don’t fail to enforce criminal law because people can misuse it. That’s what judges and juries are for; determining whether sufficient proof exists to pronounce the offender guilty. There are so many reasons why people don’t immediately come forward after a rape that it would take up an entire post. But when they do come forward, they need proof in order to press charges. A non-supported case of “he said, she said” would not be prosecuted, even though any act of swindling someone out of sex is a violation.
Significant proof is required when prosecuting any claim in every case. Sexual Assault by Fraud is no different.
“Violent rape is the only real rape.”
Our laws have long recognized that a violent assault against a victim’s sex organs is more heinous than other types of violent assault. If the offender used violence to break our arm, we would not call that rape. We recognize that there is something uniquely different about sexually violating a person. And there is nothing that can compare to the heinousness of violent rape.
But violence is one means to rape a victim. Our laws have also acknowledged that penetration of a person’s sex organs without their consent is “rape,” Date rape and statutory rape are good examples.They are forms of rape in which violence need not be present. The It’sOnUs Pledge states specifically, “Non-consensual sex is sexual assault.”
When the offender uses fraud to vitiate “knowing consent,” by any means, they are aware they are doing so, even though the victim is not. In all acts of rape, it is the actions of the actor that is the crime.
The tools by which an offender will sexually violate a victim include: violence, dope, intoxication, coercion, sex with someone under the age of consent or too mentally incapacitated to consent, and fraud, (dupllicity/deceit.)
Every means of vitiating a victim’s right to self determination to penetrate their sex organs is rape.
Why will people will continue to object?
With all of the reasons behind adoption of sexual assault by fraud law, some people will continue to oppose it. Any change in society’s “norms” takes getting used to. Often, those changes are initially met with disbelief and even ridicule. We’re seeing that in the outlandish comments people make. But there are other reasons many will continue to object. Here are a few……
1. They didn’t read or understand the law.
2. The media continues to stir up hysteria by incorrectly stating fictitious cases such as “the speed of my Lamborghini, blah, blah,” or “I’m Brad Pitt’s best friend.”
2. There are people who fail to appreciate and acknowledge that every human being’s body is sacrosanct. It’s a good idea to stay away from people who fail to do so. They’d have very little respect for your sexual autonomy,
3. Media’s portrayal of sex, and its constant bombardment of sexual imagery, creates the concept that sex is a prize, reward or entitlement. Sex has been depersonalized. It’s become a commodity. But sex is not a “thing”, and sexual sanctity is every person’s inherent right.
4. Adopting new legislation is up to legislators who count on making popular decisions to remain in office. And some legislators, judges, police officers and others, who pass or uphold the laws, can be just as guilty of rape by fraud as anyone else. An inability to grasp the criminality of rape by fraud tells us a great deal about that person.
6. The mindset that enables an offender to commit rape by fraud is a selfish, narcissistic perspective; one that puts individual desire above respect for another human being’s self determination. Doing so indicates their ability to devalue a victim for their own personal greed. People who object are supporting society’s continued acceptance of sexually deviant behavior. What does that say about that individual?
Let’s have a frank and open discussion
Anyone wishing to state an objection to sexual assault by fraud law can leave a comment here, and I’ll be happy to respond. Folks who’d like to lend their support are welcome to join in. Please address the issue in a respectful fashion. Hurling insults, foul language, personal attacks or other negative responses will result in removal of the comment.
8 thoughts on “Debugging the Law on Sexual Assault by Fraud”
I would like to tell the story of what happened to me and why I support this law.
I wasn’t meeting anyone in my circle so I decided to try on-line dating. I considered myself pretty sharp and screened through the obvious – you know the pornographic photo senders, too young, or just not for me.
One day I started talking with an older man and it seemed to be going quite well. He was highly educated (master’s degree) and our conversations flowed easily. I still was cautious and made him talk to me for over 2 months online before agreeing to meet in person. I would only meet at a public place where I would be safe.
Things continued to go well and we had a lot in common and continued seeing each other. As the bond built between us I knew sex would eventually be an issue. Still cautious I laid down the law to him. Told him I was only looking for a long term relationship and did not believe in casual only sex. Told him I did not want a man going down the list of women on-line and did not want to expose myself to std’s, emotional heartbreak…..etc. He confirmed to me that we were great and that he wanted the same as me.
The relationship progressed to the physical and as soon as he got what he wanted he called me saying he knew he took advantage of me the whole time regardless of what I said I was consenting too. There is a lot more to it, but needless to say I was traumatized. I felt disgusting like some kind of prostitute. This was a predator and this kind of thing needs to be stopped because you do suffer like someone that is date raped.
He also told me he had moved on to the next “one”. He didn’t even see us as human.
Thank you for sharing your story. Often people fail to understand that victims are not “jumping into bed” with any person who comes their way. Like you, many targets take time to get to know the offender and articulate their boundaries very clearly. The problem is that their efforts to protect themselves are completely disregarded with no empathy or remorse.
Do you know the time frame that elapsed between when you met and when you began a sexual relationship? It’s obvious that the person mislead you about their intent. Were there also lies of identity such as age, marital status, etc. that he told you? And could you please tell us which of the e-dating services you used when you located this person? It would help us get a fix on whether for-a-fee services are more or less secure than free services, and which sites seem populated with fraudsters.
I sincerely hope that you’re on a path toward healing.
All the best!
Thanks for your reply! After talking with him over 2 months online it was another month before anything physical started. And before it did I talked to him to reinforce my previous statements. It’s just that everything he said was a lie. It was a free web site and yes everything including his age, marital situation, things related to his employment, his last name, his intentions with me, seeing other women, and that scared me because of disease, etc… These types do not respect consent lines and do not care about the mess they leave behind.
A specific benefit of rape by fraud enforcement is that it can punish offenders who lie about communicable illnesses. When a person lies to knowingly pass along HIV, Herpes or other life-altering disease, there should be stiff consequences.
Thanks for sharing your information!
During this time did you wear make up? Shoes that maybe changed your height? Bra so your boobs didn’t droop or hang? Did you ever color your hair?
Because then you would be just as guilty
No Moss, she wouldn’t be.
If knowing what the person looks like without makeup, high heels, or a bra is important to you, ask them to take them off before you have sex with them. Want to know if she colors her hair? Ask.
BTW- there are also plenty of men who color their hair, wear toupees and wear lifts in their shoes. Appearance enhancements don’t embroil the person unknowingly in a sex scam.
I thought my above statement was clarification enough, but, let me respond to you in comparison form.
1. Makeup – Yes, I wear a little, neutral colors, but, nothing that would make it difficult to see my face, my face structure is what it is. HIM – Admitted to having some plastic surgery.
2. Shoes – My height was as stated and not a lie. Did I wear heels at times – Yes. I also was barefoot at times. HIM – He wore a business shoe with about a 1″ heel another time he had on a boot with about a 1.5″ heal. He also was barefoot at times.
3. BRA – Did I wear a bra? All women wear bras. Of course I wore a bra. I’m big busted and it would look totally inappropriate not to have one on. But, if I didn’t have one on I’m sure you would be the first to call me a slut. Are they sagging – not yet. But, as we all age that surely might happen.
4. Hair Color – I am a natural brunette and I do not alter my hair color. When I turn gray I might. HIM – He is older so his once natural black hair is gone. He now dyes it brown. He also whitens his teeth, He also wears aftershave, He also puts hairspray in his hair. So, when you see it all laid out, we are about the same in that area. The difference is everything he said was a lie and mine was nothing but the truth. I was embroiled in a scam to exploit me and I can’t tell you how much I wish that wasn’t true. Also, he had multiple sex partners when he said we were exclusive, which exposed me to risks I would not knowingly take. The statistics for people engaging in risky sexual behavior according to the CDC is as follows: If you have sex with someone you are having sex with everyone they have slept with for the past 10 years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with the past 10 years. If you have 12 sex partners, you have actually exposed yourself to 4,095 people. Anytime someone lies and says you are the only one when you are not, they are exposing you to the above. The fault lies with the liar, not the victim.
Those numbers are amazing! Thanks for your input.
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