Until #MeToo, rape mentality was far more widespread than society recognized. The fact that so many celebrities, politicians, successful businessmen and more were recently exposed for abhorrent sexual acts, shows how well-hidden rape mentality has been. Even the President of the United States thinks that forcing his wife into sex is acceptable behavior – a recognition that repulses the majority of humanity.
FDR, JFK, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington are only a few of the Presidents known to have had mistresses. But acts of violent rape are a whole different level of disordered reasoning. Donald Trump stands accused by several credible accounts from a variety of victims. Ivanna’s multi-million dollar divorce settlement seems to be at the heart of her claim that there are rapes that are criminal, and rapes that are not criminal…. an ignorant and totally absurd concept.
What is rape mentality?
Rape mentality is a cognitive distortion regarding sexual conduct in which entitlement and privilege are upside down. In moral thinking, sex is a privilege and consent is an entitlement. In rape mentality, sex is an entitlement and consent is a privilege. Entitlement is the belief that you have an inherent right to something. A privilege is a right that’s bestowed upon you by the choice of another.
A woman’s role in society has shifted
Woman have held an inferior position to men throughout the evolution of society. The laws adopted into our penal codes originated during an era when women were considered chattel, owned by either their father or their husband. The role of the woman was to raise the young, take care of the home, and satisfy the sexual desires of their husbands.
In ancient Rome, sexual violence toward a woman would only be considered “rape” if she was the daughter of a tax paying citizen, and a virgin. Rape was a capital offense against the head of the household who owned her virginity, and sold it at a price. No laws protected a female slave if the head of the household decided to force her to have sex.
Band aids have been applied here and there to rectify some of the misconceptions in law, but their basic premises have gone unchanged. The end result is that a woman’s autonomy over her body continues to be acknowledged in specific, but not all circumstances. And those circumstances differ with no continuity from state to state.
Laws force society to change
The fact that we now recognize slavery as abhorrent behavior resulted from changes in our laws. When it became illegal to own slaves, the collective conscience of society shifted. Today, we recognize how oppressive and wrongful slavery was.
When we standardize the definition of consent in penal code and enforce that consent, freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement – by both parties – must be present in all sexual conduct, society’s concepts about acceptable sexual behavior will change. Consistent consent provisions in law will undermine rape mentality.
Just as the civil war enabled us to change the laws on slavery, we must heed the drums that are beating to raise sexual assault awareness and change the laws that have created and perpetuated rape mentality through the ages.
Understandable, simple language defining consent will transform society’s thinking about all types of sexual assault:
“Non-consensual sex is sexual assault; Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement.” #FGKIA
Future generations are counting on us to make the difference that ends rape mentality. Call your legislator. Make it happen today!
At times when I feel helpless as a woman, as even women are putting down #Me Too as either they accepted what happened to them or they do not understand HOW did a woman allow sexual misconduct to happen to them.
As I say, until something happens to you, you’re in someone else shoes. Having empathy is the only reaction you should share or keep your negative opinions to yourself as you maybe victimizing the person again.
In WW II we, as women, ran the country while the men were away fighting. We had each others backs. We worked together to get the jobs done. We are allowing and accepting how our new leader is belittling the greatest honor of siting his ass in the white house or on the white house toilet and tweeting. We are allowing aids and employees that have not had full security clearance to run our government. Trump may have not had a full security clearance himself. Yet I would not be hired for two of my jobs ’til my security clearance was complete and I passed. Women and men, we are allowing our leader to belittle our country, he FBI, and many other things, over and over, for other countries to see. It is disgraceful. Sorry a venting day for me 🙁 https://humx.org/rosie-the-riveter-985cd6e3a8a4
Our system is fashioned in a way that feeds the ability for narcissists and people with character disorder to rise to leadership roles. If we can’t get rid of the electoral college, we need to implement a referendum system in government whereby, a simple majority in the House or the Senate can call for a public referendum that can determine, by polling our population, whether or not the person sitting in high office is allowed to continue doing so.
Other governments have the system of conducting referendums. We need it too!
Our world is comprised of people with and without emotional empathy. Our current crisis demonstrates how plentiful character disordered people are. When you see someone who fails to identify with the pain in the harm that has happened to another, it tells you all you need to know about them.
Your venting is welcome any time. That’s what blogs are for, aren’t they? 😉