The fervor over this law is just plain ridiculous!
I have responded to many posts I’ve seen and wanted to share a recent one with you that appears in reaction to Joan Quigley’s article this morning in NJ.com.
Joan Quigley got it right!
I am the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” Before you tune me out for shameless promotion, please understand that my book is about rape by fraud. It is the story of what happened to me, and makes it understandable why this is a crime. I came to the aid of the victim in NJ on her issues against Will Jordan.
But do I support a law that makes every person who tells a fib or wears perfume a rapist? Absolutely not! And my take on equating “rape by fraud” with “rape by violence” is that it grossly over reaches!
Here is what I suggested and why….
- The It’sOnUS pledge clearly states “Non-Consensual Sex is Sexual Assault.” It is endorsed by President Obama.
- Model Penal Code clearly states, in its Global Consent provision….. “Consent is INEFFECTIVE if induced by force, duress or DECEPTION.”
- In every type of punishable crime of fraud, the victim gave consent, but it was ineffective consent. The perpetrator knew the consent was ineffective, even though the victim did not at the time of the action.
A law on Sexual Assault by Fraud should be created to connect the dots between these three very important and legally understood premises. No one should be violated by deception in order to get into their pants! And this includes women as well as men!
When a person lies to you in order to VITIATE your KNOWING CONSENT, they are violating you, not seducing you.
So what do we call this crime?
Yes, genetically, rape by fraud is a sexual violation which is “rape.” But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water over semantics. It does not rise to the horrific nature of the crime of violence, to overwhelm and penetrate someone’s genitalia, that most people think of as “rape.” That’s why laws have distinctions such as “aggravated” and “degrees” of severity. I offered language to the Assemblyman to include in the legislation that would make that concept absolutely clear. Leaving it out was a huge mistake.
There are many ways a person’s consent can be violated: They can be physically overwhelmed through violence, by intoxication, by dope, by deceit, by coercion, by being underage or too mentally challenged to provide such consent. Every way to deprive a person of self determination over their intimate core is a physical invasion of their body, a sexual assault.
Non-violent sexual assault should not be punished to the extent that violent sexual assault should be, but it surely should be punished!
It was and is my recommendation that non-consensual sexual assault, of this nature, be considered “sexual misconduct” rather than “sexual assault.” It should apply in cases where the offender has either conducted fraud in the factum or fraud in the inducement… legal terms you will find in my book. Again, please pardon the shameless self-promotion but I wrote it for a reason…. to help people understand this crime and why it’s a crime.
On enhancements and fibs
Rape by fraud as “sexual misconduct”, in the mainstream of its use, would not punish people for appearance enhancements. People have eyes. They see the other person’s appearance. It is either pleasing to them or not. The Spanx come off before penetration! As will the padded bra or pants that are stuffed with a tennis ball. So let’s not be ridiculous about it.
It is obvious to the observer when someone wears perfume. My favorite is Boucharon. No one in their right mind would ever think that’s what I smelled like without applying it.
This crime revolves around “false personation.”
There are lies of intent as well as lies of identity used in “sexual misconduct” scenarios. When a person pretends to be someone other than who they actually are, the term “false personation” applies. (See FL criminal code on fraud.)
A lie of intent, “I’ll marry you in the morning,” could not be punished. The perpetrator could simply say, “I changed my mind.”
The burden of proof on any prosecution is the District Attorney’s. They cannot indict without the Grand Jury and the jury being on board. So while little white lies are CADdish behavior, (Carnal Abuse by Deceit,) they are not the stuff of prosecution.
Cases of “false personation,” identity characteristics that transform a person from their actual identity into someone else, is the level of crime that is prosecutorial. The victim has sex with a stranger, not the person they intended. It is defiling. It happened to me for 3.5 years. It literally changed my life.
Determination of penalty
Also, keep in mind, mental health professionals will tell you that the longer the hoax persists, the more damage the victim sustains. Instead of being defiled once, they were defiled multiple times. It is devastating to know that someone you trusted treated you this way, and that they manipulated your cooperation in what they did to you. The length of the offense can be another issue in ascribing the penalty for this crime.
The press rushed to judgement that the penalty would be equivalent to violent rape, They were incorrect. Assemblyman Singleton was leaving the discussion of penalty to the law makers and process whose job is to figure it out.
Prosecution for defrauding to spread communicable disease
Here is a tremendous benefit this law will provide…. Predators who knowingly hide communicable illness can be prosecuted under this law. There will be no more free ride when they knowingly pass along HIV or any other life-altering disease.
This law is to protect against an insidious crime. It is not to incarcerate jerks. But jerks should be fully aware that when they behave like jerks, they are violating, not seducing you. Is it offensive? Absolutely! Is it punishable? Very unlikely! There is simply not sufficient proof to build a case under this or any law.
4 thoughts on “Absurd Hoopla Over #3908- NJ’s Sexual Assault by Fraud Law”
PTSD a result of CAD, absolutely! For people who really and deeply care about their mate, they will suffer from this disorder as much as those who encounter war, rape or any other traumatic life event. The recovery process is the same. Being betrayed by someone you trusted unconditionally is devastating. Recovery requires therapy and help, it doesn’t go away by ignoring or burying the memories, no different than a rape victim or a war veteran. CAD’s prey on people who care, they are social predators, intra-species predators who get away with this crime because law makers cannot fathom the devastation this brings. Support CAD and the work they do, it will only lead to a better, healthier society with Justice for the betrayed and appropriate punishment for the perpetrator. Let the predators know they cannot get away with this any longer, the game has been discovered and we are fighting back.
Thanks so much for raising the specter of PTSD. Often people associate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with having experienced violence. But you’re correct. Victims of emotional shock can be traumatized as well.
A subset of PTSD is Post Traumatic Rape Syndrome and I’ll be focusing my attention on this condition, which can affect someone who experienced any form of rape, in an upcoming post.
Also, thanks for your support of my efforts! You’ve expressed my thoughts on exposing this crime….. Game Over!
I wish you the best healing possible!
Particularly as a man who was defrauded by a woman, your voice is extremely appreciated! People think this law is being written just to protect women. They need to know it happens both ways! And it happens to smart people as well as unintelligent people. The IQ of the victim will not protect them against deceit. Ripping off unintelligent people makes heinous behavior toward them even more shameless!
No one, man, woman, smart or “dumb as dirt” is beyond the reach of a CAD! And blaming the victim has to be recognized and stopped!
Thanks for your contribution!
Well said Joyce!
Devastation is the only way to look at this type of behavior. It took me 6 years to figure out that the perpetrator was good at concealing her identity. In the preceding years I was completely trusting, but had a nagging suspicion something was wrong.
Until I could prove it through investigation of communications with (who she said was her ‘brother’), who in fact was her common law husband she gained access to Canada.
I am still recovering and working to seek justice, justice that Canadian law enforcement has completely dismissed as “you were duped, get over it”
This is Carnal Abuse by Deceit is it’s truest form.
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