In the US, where rape happens determines whether a crime has taken place.
Legislators of each state create the laws in that individual jurisdiction, therefore, what is legal in one place can be illegal in another. Most states recognize violent rape as a crime as well as coercion by threatening severe bodily harm to you or someone else. Some states only recognize coercion as an overt physical threat while others recognize covert threats such as misuse of a power differential. A growing number of jurisdictions are beginning to recognize coercive control.
Deceiving you into sexual conduct; however, is only a crime in very few states. states, Even then, the type of fraud used can be treated as a criminal offense in one state, while just down the road in another, it is referred to as the “puffery” of seduction!
A little history
As far back as 1865, rape by fraud was recognized as a heinous act in the state of Michigan. In “People v. Crosswell, 13 Mich. 427 (1865)” the high court upheld the defendant’s conviction for rape by fraud and stated:
“The outrage upon the woman is just as great in these cases as if actual force had been employed.”
In the Roman era, recognition that a rape occurred was dependent on the victim being a “citizen” not a slave, and a virgin. It was punishable by death as a capital offense against the head of her household who owned her virginity, which was a valued commodity. But even still, Socrates identified the harm of “sex using persuasion,” which he considered especially compelling because it “undermined the character of the victim.”
While in the modern era, the act of obtaining intercourse through material and false representations, rape by fraud, is only penalized in a few states, the act of misleading a person in order to elicit love and affection, emotional rape, is never penalized at all.
What is fraud?
All fraud laws are based on the premise that a person’s consent must be unambiguous, freely given and not the by-product of deceit in order to be legally valid. Consent is not merely agreement. It’s freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement by a person with the capacity to reason. When a person robs someone of their assets by misleading them into agreement, they can be punished for “theft by fraud.” Likewise, when a person misleads someone into sexual contact or sexual intercourse, they are sexually assaulting their target. Irrespective that the victim did not know the offender’s conduct was sexual assault at the time, the offender knew full-well that their victim’s agreement or cooperation was given as a result of deliberate, intentional, pre-meditated duplicity on their part.
Legal commentators speak out
Kathryn and Russell Christopher, University of Tulsa College of Law, and authors of Criminal Law, Model Problems and Outstanding Answers, wrote a comprehensive review of Rape by Fraud as a means to defend statutory rapists. Their work was published in the 2007, Northwestern University Law Review. On page #102, their comments include:
“Under two consent standards—“global consent” and “knowing and voluntary consent” —fraud vitiates the victim’s consent to intercourse,”
and:
“As many as twelve states follow the Model Penal Code in promulgating global consent provisions declaring that deception renders the victim’s consent legally ineffective.”
More to the point, consent does not exist when agreement is induced by duplicity because knowledge and information are required elements in consent. Speaking about “consent” being “undermined” leads to an awkward understanding. Being undermined would impart that consent was taking place but was put aside, when, in fact, duplicity prevents consent from taking place at all. While agreement can exist without knowledge and information, consent cannot. And consent is required in all sexual conduct.
Law Professor Susan Estrich staunchly advocated for rape laws to prohibit the same deceptions as a state’s laws of false pretenses or fraud. In all states, adult impersonation qualifies as a material fraud in other crimes such as theft.
Professor Estrich authored Real Rape, the first meaningful book to shed light on rape by fraud. She is a noted political commentator for Fox News, the 1988 National Campaign Manager for Dukakis-Bentsen, and the first female President of the Harvard Law Review,
Law Professor Patricia Falk identified the issues surrounding the inclusion of rape by fraud law in penal code. Her submission to the Brooklyn Law Review, in 2009, outlined many of the problems and challenges such laws face.
Distinctions in acts of rape by fraud
Some states penalize fraud in the factum while others prosecute fraud in the inducement. Fraud in the factum occurs when the victim is deceived that sexual intercourse is taking place. If a doctor indicates he’s inserting a medical instrument but inserts his penis instead, he’s conducting fraud in the factum. also, acts of sexual gratification disguised as medical treatment are examples of sexual assault by fraud.
Fraud in the inducement occurs when the victim is deliberately tricked about the identity or foundational facts about the offender.
Find what you need about your state
The following is a brief outline of the conditions of rape by fraud laws in various states. Read the posts about individual states for more in-depth analysis. Right click on the state’s name to link with further information:
Alabama– ***** Sexual Misconduct when consent is obtained by any fraud or artifice. A Class A misdemeanor.
Arizona– Fraud in the factum (nature of the act)
California– *** Fraud in the factum (nature of the act). Governor Jerry Brown signed “Yes Means Yes” into law. This legislation states that affirmative permission must be unambiguous. Question- How can an offender, who knows they are lying, perceive the victim’s agreement to be unambiguous? California passed changes to their “rape” law in 2013 making certain types of rape by fraud illegal, but not all.
District of Columbia (DC)- Even their misdemeanor on sexual abuse fails to cover all causes. DC uses the term permission as a substitute for consent. “Whoever engages in a sexual act or sexual contact with another person and who should have knowledge or reason to know that the act was committed without that other person’s permission, shall be imprisoned for not more than 180 days and, in addition, may be fined in an amount not more than the amount set forth in § 22-3571.01.”
DC fails to recognize that “permission” is not explained. Does “permission” mean that you simply say “yes?” Or does it mean that you must be saying “yes” because the offender did not use a malicious means to get you to say yes? And must you vocalize that yes? If you do, does the fact that you vocalized agreement, or the fact that you agreed without being forced, coerced or tricked into agreement have priority? There is far too much grey area that a sexual predator can slide through in DC’s statute.
DC needs to use the correct term, consent, and define consent correctly as freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement by a person with the capacity to reason.
Florida– Consent must be “intelligent and knowing.” Florida refers to sex crimes as sexual battery. Although Florida has no specific law on rape by fraud, their language seems promising if a victim pursues such a charge. See post for further information.
Hawaii– No provisions for rape by fraud. Statutes protect against sexual acts recklessly achieved by “compusion,” which includes coercion, the threat of harm, or sexual contact achieved through the abuse of authority.
Idaho– ***** Rape by fraud in the inducement and in the factum! Idaho continues to use the term “rape.” All rape requires a male offender and a female victim. Rape occurs when the victim believes that the accused is someone other than who they are and their belief is induced by any artifice, pretense, or concealment by the accused to induce such belief. Fraud in the factum extends to cover sexual exploitation by medical providers as well as psychiatric and mental health professionals.
Louisiana– Protects against fraud in the inducement but only when the offender pretends to be the victim’s husband. See individual post on this state for further information.
Massachusetts– A rape by fraud statute was introduced by Representative Peter J. Koutoujian, and voted down. See individual post on this state for further information.
Michigan– Penalizes intercourse obtained by concealment which is arguable as to whether a lie is considered concealment- when the actor, through concealment or by the element of surprise, is able to overcome the victim.
750.532 Seduction; Archaic Law but still on the books- Any man who shall seduce and debauch (degrade, corrupt) any unmarried woman shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not more than 5 years or by fine of not more than 2,500 dollars; but no prosecution shall be commenced under this section after 1 year from the time of committing the offense.
Nebraska– Fraud in the factum (nature of the act). Penalizes intercourse obtained by deception as to the identity of the actor such as a person who poses as a fiancé, husband or lover.
Nevada– Supreme Court ruling, McNair vs. State- Sexual assault language is sufficiently broad and explicit to encompass conduct occurring as a result of fraud & deceit.
New Jersey– Penalizes Fraud in the factum (nature of the act.) An overhaul of their criminal code eliminated the term “rape” and replaced it with the terms “Sexual Assault” and “Sexual Contact.” Additional language contained in The Criminal Law Digest of the State of NJ states that affirmative permission to the specific act of sexual penetration or contact must be perceived as such by a reasonable person. Victims of “sexual assault” in this state are entitled to a restraining order against the offender based on “Nicole’s Law.” NJ mirrors the concept of “consent” in their definition, but fails to enforce the law as it’s written that requires “consent” in all sexual contact.
In 2014, Asm. Troy Singleton made an attempt to enact a law to prevent sexual assault by fraud. The law was too loosely written and did not garner support.
New York– Neither fraud in the factum nor fraud in the inducement are punishable offenses, Sexual misconduct, however, provides basic language that could be utilized to pursue a rape by fraud case, however, the concept of “knowing consent” must be argued in order to do so. Two bills are currently pending in NY State that will define consent clearly . This transformational change could turn our human right of consent into a civil right backed by law. Currently education law in NY State says that “Yes means Yes” while Penal law in NY State says “No means No.” Both concepts are inconsistent with the actual definition of consent.
Oregon- A little gem of a law exists there. It’s called “Sexual Abuse in the Third Degree” and it’s based on “consent.” Most of Oregon’s sex laws require forcible compulsion, defect, or physical helplessness, but § 163.415¹ is the exception. Only an actual case will prove whether Oregon understands what “consent” actually means.
Rhode Island– Prohibits intercourse obtained by concealment
Tennessee– ***** Prohibits intercourse induced by deception, accomplished by fraud and obtained by ruse. TN abolished the distinction between fraud in the factum and fraud in the inducement. However, a child who is a victim of statutory rape can be considered an accomplice in their own rape, nullifying the statutory rape charge against the accused through a rape by fraud defense.
FindLaw provides the following information on Tennessee’s Law:
| Tennessee Code Title 39: Criminal Offenses, Chapter 13: Offenses Against the Person, Part 5: Sexual Offenses |
| What is Prohibited? | Many sexual offenses are illegal in Tennessee, including:
|
Sexual Battery in Tennessee is a Class E Felony
Sexual Offenses
39-13-505. Sexual battery.
(a) Sexual battery is unlawful sexual contact with a victim by the defendant or the defendant by a victim accompanied by any of the following circumstances:
(1) Force or coercion is used to accomplish the act;
(2) The sexual contact is accomplished without the consent of the victim and the defendant knows or has reason to know at the time of the contact that the victim did not consent;
(3) The defendant knows or has reason to know that the victim is mentally defective, mentally incapacitated or physically helpless; or
(4) The sexual contact is accomplished by fraud.
(b) As used in this section, “coercion” means the threat of kidnapping, extortion, force or violence to be performed immediately or in the future.
According to CrimLaw, prosecuting these cases, even where a straightforward law exists , is difficult, and in Tennessee, only two such cases have been tried:
State v. Mitchell, 1999, C.C.A. No. 01C01-9612-CR-00502, a man convinced women he was their boyfriend and that he had a fantasy that they would have sex while she was blindfolded. In State v. Brigman, 2003, C.C.A. No. M2002-00461-CCA-R3-CD, a man convinced young men that if they were blindfolded a woman would come and perform oral sex on the young male, but did it himself. Both of these seem to indicate that conviction for rape by fraud is a difficult case to prosecute which would only occur in incredibly unusual situations.
Texas– Sexual assault in the factum. TX prosecutes sexual assault when the offender knows that the person is unaware that the sexual act is occurring.
22.011(a) (1) a person commits an offense (sexual assault) if the person intentionally or knowingly causes the penetration of the anus or sexual organ of another person by any means without that person’s consent. Further, the statute identifies multiple non-violent but non-consensual acts. Fraud, however, is not on the list.
Rape by fraud in this state would require it to be argued that since duplicity invalidates consent, and invalid consent is no consent at all, sexual assault by fraud should be covered under their existing statute.
Texas law covers when the actor compels the person in their role of spiritual advisor, but not rape by fraud.
Texas law mimics Model Penal Code’s consent provision, but only for theft, not for sexual assault.
Utah– Penalizes intercourse obtained by concealment
Virginia– § 18.2-67.4 Sexual battery. A. An accused is guilty of sexual battery if he sexually abuses, as defined in § 18.2-67.10, (i) the complaining witness against the will of the complaining witness, by force, threat, intimidation, or ruse,
If I had sex with someone who failed to disclose to me that one of their great grandparents was Jewish, and I’m antisemitic and find it objectionable to to have sex with people of Jewish ancestry, was I a victim of rape by fraud?
Hello Ms. Short,
What are your thoughts on women that lie to men about whether or not they can get pregnant in order to gain a child to have child support?
@Randy- Children cost a king’s ransom to raise. Even when you have child support coming in, you’re not likely to be raising your standard of living. So anyone who would deceive a person in order to get child support is an idiot. Women who deceive their sexual partner are more likely to do so to trick them into marriage. Either way, they’re using fraud as the means to undermine the other party’s self determination over their reproductive organs. That’s a sexual assault.
https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2015/12/dark-truth-behind-convictions-gender-fraud
Alex Sharpe, Professor of Law at Keele University, argues that in the case of trans people, gender-fraud (specifically rape by gender-fraud) goes too far to punish people who are already ostracized by society: trans folk. Her argument is based largely on the fact (and I agree with her that this is a fact, though millions wouldn’t) that the gender a trans person identifies with, is the gender they are. Ie, a trans-man saying “I am a man” is not lying about his gender.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not tricking someone into sex…
She mostly discusses the Kyran Lee case. (Colles notes: Kyran Lee
is a young trans-man who had sex with cis-gendered female partner. The cis-partner later found out the Lee was not cis-gendered male. Filed complaint. Lee is sentenced for gender-fraud. There’s a lot more to it than this.)
It’s tricky. It’s unfortunate that the victim (because — though in the linked article Sharpe seems to forget or ignore that she is a victim), might be transphobic. But this is (sadly) besides the point. It just means that the case isn’t simply: “You said you were a man, you’re not a man”. Rather it’s “You made me believe you were a cis man, you are not a cis man”. Rape by fraud is *withholding information that you know would be a deal-breaker to get someone into bed*. Even if their deal-breaker is hurtful or bigoted/close-minded, it’s still a deal breaker. Shape shows an utter lack of regard for how the complainant feels — being raped by deception is not okay (even for a possible bigot) and that’s how she feels.
I’ll use myself anecdotally to add a whole other pile of nuance: I’m a queer cis-female. I have happily and consensually dated and had sex with trans individuals. But (as far as I know) I knew each of them was trans before having sex with them. Now, if one of them had been trans and had withheld that information specifically because they thought I wouldn’t have sex with them if I knew, I’d be deeply upset and feel violated. Not because they are trans (as seems to be the case with the Kyran Lee complainant) but because of their intentional omission to gain sex; I don’t care that you’re trans, I care that you lied to get me into bed.
So. If you think a person might not have sex with you if they know something about you, and so you withhold that information and have sex with them, that’s rape by fraud.
Personally, I’d even go a step further — even if I would have been okay with something had they disclosed prior to sex, but they intentionally didn’t disclose in order to have sex, I feel that is still rape by fraud. Simply: even if I would have said yes, if you lied with intent, it’s rape.
When it comes to sex, everyone on God’s green earth is entitled to their personal preferences. There is no situation in which anyone has the right to decide with whom anyone else should have sex. Just because a person wants to have sex with someone, does not give them the right to do so through deceitful manipulation. Undermining their right to make their own decision is sexual assault.
As you likely saw in my post on Gayle Newland, I believe her sentence is excessive. What she did is a crime in the UK, but not a violent (aggravated) one. I don’t believe that the sentence for sexual assault by fraud should be consistent with violent rape.
Thanks for pointing out the article.
Would you consider it rape by fraud of an underage person induces an overage person to have sex by lying about their age? In this case should both parties be prosecuted, one for stat and one for fraud rape?
Michael,
Several states recognize rape by fraud to protect men from being lied to by underage girls. You might want to read a post I wrote a while back about it. https://rapebyfraud.com/2015/07/31/is-zack-a-sex-offender-or-a-victim/
Thank you, Joyce. I read the article, and it seems to address the ability to use fraud as a defense against the charges of statutory rape. But, for example, in Zach’s case, what about the rapist herself. As near I could tell by your article, the admitted rapist wouldn’t be charged, but, in some states, the victim could use the fact that he was raped as a defense against rape charges. Am I reading that right? Thanks for responding.
No…you’re assuming. RAPE by fraud, not just fraud. Fraud is the weapon. Rape is the crime. The child could be prosecuted if it’s determined that they’re at the age of criminal responsibility. If they’re not, they’d be treated as a child under the state’s provisions for dealing with childhood offenses.
OK, thanks.
Joyce thank you for your commitment to protect women. Many years ago before I met my wife she was raped by deception. Sadly she has deep seeded mental and emotional issues. Most days I have little hope she will ever recover. Thank you for your work for victims of rape. God Bless
Scott-
I responded to your email, and hope you’ll find it helpful.
If you tell me the state where this happened and when it took place, laws may exist in the state that could help. If not, getting the law passed to prevent rape by fraud could give you and your wife a new sense of purpose.
The same law that will prevent rape by fraud will prevent ALL TYPES of sexual assault. It’s: “Non-consensual sex is sexual assault: Consent is freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement.”
I am curious about your opinion of the “trans” movement and the numerous individuals who claim that a person who has a penis and dresses in western women’s clothing is ethically and legally permitted to have sex with other men, who appear hetrosexual, without revealing the fact that the person they are having contact with was not born with a vagina.
example
Hi Eric-
I’ve written a few posts on the subject of transgender deceit. You’ll be able to find them by simply entering the word “transgender” in the keyword search in the left hand column of this site.
The short version is, no one has the right to deceive a person about their gender. Surgery can change appearance but it can’t change a person’s DNA. I applaud the fact that modern science can make people more comfortable in their bodies, but that doesn’t give that person the right to deceive someone else about who they actually are when it comes to sexual consent.
Every human being is entitled to self determination over their reproductive organs. It’s not okay to defraud anyone to induce sex.
BTW- the link you gave me doesn’t work for me. I’d be happy to watch if you’d like to check what you’ve written.
My fiancé and I are dealing with a woman that has threatened to have him charged with rape by deception if we file charges against her for harassment. She has refused to stop texting (including sending nude photos) and calling. It has been over 2 years dealing with this now, even though he had told her he had met someone else and to ‘please stop contacting him and move on’. I even called her with his cell phone on Thanksgiving 2016 after she texted that morning. I told her who I was and asked her why she was still sending texts and calling and she said “she was also his fiancé and probably had fiancé s all over the place”. She then stated that she loved him and would never stop even though she knew about me. Before he met me in 2015, he had begun to lie to her because she wouldn’t leave him alone. He told her things like he had lost his job and was going to prison for a while. I watched him respond to her texts asking her and then telling her to stop contacting him. She said she was looking for closure but was sending nude photos. I finally sent the photos to her mother and boyfriend and asked if they would help getting her to stop. Her mother knew of her daughters “issues” and said she didn’t believe there was anything she could do to get her daughter to stop. The boyfriend had been lied to and after they split up, I gave him all the information I had and we compared the stories.
I have screen shots of her lies trying to get my fiancé to call her. She was hospitalized for swallowing a handful of pills and had her fragile grandmother call him and tell him to call her in the hospital. He respectfully called her grandmother and was sensitive to her situation and told her he was sorry she was going through that with her granddaughter but they did he did not have the kind of relationship with her that she had told her grandmother. She had other people message him a different time and tell him she was dead from suicide.
I contacted her myself via phone and online messaging and was sympathetic towards her “pain” and gave her the opportunity to vent to me and tried to help her through things. Basically, she had forgotten some of her lies and I have documented all the lies and things she has said. I told her if what she said was true, send me the proof she said she had but that never happened. She said she lost all the proof when her computer and old cell phones were stolen. She did sent me a photo of her 2 year old niece and told me that it was the daughter she had with my fiancé and proof of sexual intercourse. I replied that it was a nice photo of her niece since I had already done some investigating and researching to find out what I could about her and had seen her niece prior to her sending it. I have everything documented and screen shots of all the lies. I let her know that if she didn’t stop, we would be filing harassment charges. Recently she began to threaten to have him fired from his job and had an attorney (does not have one) and would be filling ‘rape by deception’ charges if we filed harassment charges.
She has stated that he deceived her because she thought they would be together forever when she did things to herself and sent him the photos and videos at his request – things like inserting items into different places that were painful (and other BDSM things). He did NOT promise her anything and yet she continues to lie about it. She blames him for her messed up life when it was in complete shambles before he ever met her.
While I do believe there should be specific laws that make it possible to prosecute people that use rape by deception and victimize another person, I am concerned for those that are actually innocent and accused because an ex feels scorned or are pissed off at not being “the one” for that other person.
Hopefully any laws that exist or that will be written in the future will protect not only someone that has experienced rape by deception but also protect innocent people who are accused by and ex that is unwilling to let go.
Sher-
I understand your concern over false reporting. Please let me know where you live, and I can tell you whether a charge of sexual assault by deception is even possible in your jurisdiction.
I can’t begin to count the times that folks who are in the process of “drinking the Kool Aid” of an offender dismisses the realization that the alleged victim’s claims have merit. And I caution you that where there’s smoke, there’s a good chance of fire. Neither you nor I were a fly on their wall. People do strange things when they feel defiled. No matter how peculiar her behavior seems to you, I would not rule out the possibility that she may be correct and acting out as a result of significant, painful injury.
Rape by deception is a tough case to prove. The victim would need significant proof and be adjudged to have a reasonable basis of belief to have accepted lies as fact. That’s a very high bar in a court of law. Cases resting on the intent of the offender are especially difficult; whereas, cases of false identity are easier to prove.
You should not be reaching out to the woman. You’re involvement is likely to cause her more, not less, angst and ignite more, not less response. The fact that your fiance has gone along with your doing so does not bode well. He, not you, should deal with his past relationships. The fact that he’s allowing you to do so smacks of “show boating” on his part.
If you feel she’s unstable, having no contact is the best solution. But I’d advise you to be very careful. You might want to go back to other prior girlfriends your fiance has had and see if others have similar complaints about his behavior. For your own personal protection, my advice is, do some heavy digging before you take what he says at face value.
Sher-
I understand your concern over false reporting. Please let me know where you live, and I can tell you whether a charge of sexual assault by deception is even possible in your jurisdiction.
I can’t begin to count the times that folks who are in the process of “drinking the Kool Aid” of an offender dismisses the realization that the alleged victim’s claims have merit. And I caution you that where there’s smoke, there’s a good chance of fire. Neither you nor I were a fly on their wall. People do strange things when they feel defiled. No matter how peculiar her behavior seems to you, I would not rule out the possibility that she may be correct and acting out as a result of significant, painful injury.
Rape by deception is a tough case to prove. The victim would need significant proof and be adjudged to have a reasonable basis of belief to have accepted lies as fact. That’s a very high bar in a court of law. Cases resting on the intent of the offender are especially difficult; whereas, cases of false identity are easier to prove.
You should not be reaching out to the woman. You’re involvement is likely to cause her more, not less, angst and ignite more, not less response. The fact that your fiance has gone along with your doing so does not bode well. He, not you, should deal with his past relationships. The fact that he’s allowing you to do so smacks of “show boating” on his part.
If you feel she’s unstable, having no contact is the best solution. But I’d advise you to be very careful. You might want to go back to other prior girlfriends your fiance has had and see if others have similar complaints about his behavior. For your own personal protection, my advice is, do some heavy digging before you take what he says at face value.
I did spend a great deal of time digging. There is no one else with any similar claims and she honestly has taken things to a level that is not warranted. There are at least two other men she stated the same things about, but her story to me and the story to her now ex-boyfriend did not match up. The dates she claimed she thought they were the closest were the same dates that I had found where she had been seeing another man and claimed he raped her and left her in a field with anal bleeding. Now, wouldn’t that have been something a person would pursue prosecution if it were true? She did nothing.
My fiancé has been consistent with his position and has ignored her attempts at contact as well as asking her to stop. He has not tried to spin any stories of how she is just crazy and he is innocent. He was very upfront from the beginning and his position has always been to just ignore it. I felt sorry for her even though I did not believe her. She was very nice in the beginning and I encouraged her to focus on what was important in her life, like her children, etc. It was when I asked her about finding her very own words posted online concerning the man she claimed had left her in a field saying he broke her heart during the time she said she thought things were going the best with my fiancé, which by the way was well after he had told her he had a girlfriend and to please stop contacting him. He asked her to stop before he had met me as well. He avoided her when he worked in the area she lived because she wouldn’t leave him alone and would show up drunk in the middle of the night at his hotel room and barged in. His coworkers saw and knew about this. He actually would stay at a hotel in the next town to avoid her as well. At one point, while he was ignoring her after asking her to leave him alone, before he had met me, she posted on and article about the next job he was on saying she was just looking for closure and didn’t know if he was hurt or in jail.
I have not just taken my fiancé’s word at any of it. I really did do a LOT of digging and research to see what was really going on. I just did not want to deal with her trying to file false charges just because she feels she can. Wisconsin is the state he met her in October 2014. We have been together since July of 2015.
I apologize for rambling. I have tons of information from all the research I did on her and is much more than I could include on here.
I understand your concerns so I’ve looked up the sexual assault statutes in Wisconsin for you. It appears that the only way she can bring a claim against him, and it would be extraordinary for a Prosecutor to adhere to the letter of the law on this in order to do so, is if she can claim she needed to secure psychiatric therapy as a result of the trauma he caused her. Here is the closest language that could be brought to bear on the case as you’ve described:
Wisconsin Law
Class B Felony: (b) Has sexual contact or sexual intercourse with another person without consent of that person and causes injury, illness, disease or impairment of a sexual or reproductive organ, or mental anguish requiring psychiatric care for the victim.
(4) Consent. “Consent”, as used in this section, means words or overt actions by a person who is competent to give informed consent indicating a freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or sexual contact. Consent is not an issue in alleged violations of sub. (2) (c), (cm), (d), (g),(h), and (i). The following persons are presumed incapable of consent but the presumption may be rebutted by competent evidence, subject to the provisions of s. 972.11 (2):
The consent doctrine in Wisconsin states “informed.” Although she would likely argue that his deception deprived her of being “informed,” it would be a huge stretch for a Prosecutor to undertake such a case. It’s highly unlikely that she could charge sexual assault or rape by fraud in the state of Wisconsin.
I understand your concerns so I’ve looked up the sexual assault statutes in Wisconsin for you. It appears that the only way she can bring a claim against him, and it would be extraordinary for a Prosecutor to adhere to the letter of the law on this in order to do so, is if she can claim she needed to secure psychiatric therapy as a result of the trauma he caused her. Here is the closest language that could be brought to bear on the case as you’ve described:
Wisconsin Law
Class B Felony: (b) Has sexual contact or sexual intercourse with another person without consent of that person and causes injury, illness, disease or impairment of a sexual or reproductive organ, or mental anguish requiring psychiatric care for the victim.
(4) Consent. “Consent”, as used in this section, means words or overt actions by a person who is competent to give informed consent indicating a freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or sexual contact. Consent is not an issue in alleged violations of sub. (2) (c), (cm), (d), (g),(h), and (i). The following persons are presumed incapable of consent but the presumption may be rebutted by competent evidence, subject to the provisions of s. 972.11 (2):
The consent doctrine in Wisconsin states “informed.” Although she would likely argue that his deception deprived her of being “informed,” it would be a huge stretch for a Prosecutor to undertake such a case. It’s highly unlikely that she could charge sexual assault or rape by fraud in the state of Wisconsin.
The only reason why this topic even exists is because there is an epidemic of gold digging whores in western society. If you get duped into sleeping with a man because you think he is a doctor or a lawyer, when you get dumped, you get what you deserve. You would have to create your own feminist county to make “rape by fraud” a law. But no man would live there. Stop gold digging & this won’t happen to you.
Kris- You’re grossly incorrect. People lie about all manner of characteristics, not simply about their profession.
Everyone is entitled to make personal determinations about who they do and do not have sex with. If their personal choice was not their right, than everyone would be required to have sex with everyone else. We all know that’s simply not true. Yet you disparage the right to make choices as if doing so makes the person wrong. The only one who is wrong is you for not respecting the right to choose.
Sounds like this whole topic struck a nerve with your guilty conscience. The only reason this topic exists is because of male arrogance. Men who think they are SO entitled to women’s bodies that they even lie to get them. “Oh, I love you, & I want to marry you….until I get the sex that I want, & then I’ve changed my mind..” I even know a woman who was lied to about their marriage being legal, & the guy called her a couple weeks after they had signed the license to tell her that he neglected to file it, they weren’t married, & he didn’t want to be married to her anymore. Because, of course, she was religious, & didn’t want to have sex without being married. So he lied to her & tricked her. Stop lying & you won’t go to jail, scumbag.
Diana-
Well said!!
The lengths people go to in order to trick others into having sex goes far beyond rational behavior! Thanks for enlightening us with your example. Unfortunately, many people will shake their heads and say, “never happened.” They are categorically wrong! It happens, And it happens to countless victims each and every day!
The victim-blaming has to end! And the behavior has to stop! We can stop it by passing laws like the one in “Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime!”
If everyone who wants this crime to end gets a copy of the book and sends it to their legislators, with a note that says, “I’m your constituent and this crime happened to me, I want you to enact this law,” we could launch the force that protects countless victims from rape all around the world!
Joyce
After watching L&O SVU s18e02, I’m very curious to know how the criminal justice system would decide what, if any, lies would not constitute rape by deception. If a person claims to be a doctor, but is actually a PA (or didn’t technically graduate from medical school yet), is that rape? What if the person was a nurse instead of a doctor? What if a man lies about having or not having a vasectomy or a woman lies about having or not having had a hysterectomy? What if they simply lie about their desire to have kids? How about if a woman lies about her age or hair color? If they lied about their annual income? Where do they draw the line, or don’t they?
Jeffrey-
Thanks for asking. You’ve raised an important concern that many people have.
The line is not drawn according to the size of the lie you tell. No matter what size gun an offender uses to murder a person, the victim is dead. The size of the lie does not determine whether a sexual assault did or did not take place.
What constitutes a case that can be prosecuted is the proof that exists, whether the victim had a reasonable basis of belief, and whether they acted as a “reasonable” person would have behaved in that circumstance.
While no one should lie to get laid, not all cases pass the litmus test that enables prosecution.
While I love a good analogy, I do not believe those are analogous. In your example, the analogy you try to draw is based on a circular argument. Of course someone who was murdered is still murdered, but that’s why the offender is guilty of ‘murder’, not ‘murder with an irrelevantly-sized gun’. The correct parallel to that statement would be, “No matter what size lie an offender used to lie to a person, the person is still lied to.” The assumption that the lie, any lie, changes it from “lied to” to “raped” doesn’t follow logically.
So according to your criteria, any lie whatsoever, so long as a reasonable person could fall for it and consequently consent to sex, should constitute rape. As in my above examples, all of them would constitute rape in your book? Every woman that has lied about her age to get a man in bed is a rapist?
A long time ago, I saw an ad for scrap paper that looked like an official ATM withdrawal slip that showed a very large bank balance. The idea was that a person could keep one crumpled up in their pocket and then when trying to give a phone number to someone (yes, this pre-dated cell phones) they could pull out what they thought was just a sales receipt or something and write their number on it, assuming the person would ultimately look at what it was and assume that the person was wealthy. So if the person wouldn’t have looked at the back, or if they would have had sex regardless of what the balance stated, it wouldn’t be rape, but if they ONLY had sex because of their assumption that the slip was theirs, and that it was a personal fortune, and that it was a current reflection of their net worth (essentially revealing that they are a gold digger) then it’s rape?!?
No reply?
Too much assumption in that analogy. It would not constitute a rape by fraud case. But make no mistake, undermining a person’s self determination over their reproductive organs by any form of trickery is a sexual assault, not seduction. Not all such offenses, like the gamesmanship you’re describing, could be prosecuted.
I’m not asking whether or not it can be prosecuted. This is about policy, not execution. Simply by describing it as sexual assault, I assume that means you WANT it to be prosecutable. So I guess I’ll ask a very specific question:
A 40-year-old woman (whose online dating profile stated she was 34) found a man on a dating site whose parameters stated he wanted a woman between the ages of 25-35, messaged him, and set up a date. On their date, she chose an activity that would require her to show proof of ID (like rent a sports car for a fun country drive) in the hopes he would see her fake ID confirming her fake age. The ID was good enough to pass inspection. He then feels comfortable that the woman meets his criteria, and later in the evening, they have consensual intercourse. On their second date, while out to lunch, the woman happens to run into an old high school friend who casually mentions their graduating year, prompting the man to realize she has lied to him in order to fit his criteria. He obtains the copy of the license the business made on their first date, gets a third-party-verified web archive of her profile showing she stated she was 34, and a copy of her birth certificate proving she was lying. In your opinion, should this woman be prosecuted for, and convicted of, rape by fraud?
I have a follow-up question that is unrelated to the above question: Can two people rape each other at the exact same time?
Also, please expound on the analogy. I showed why your gun/murder example wasn’t analogous. If you want to challenge that, please explain why it’s wrong.
The simple answer is, yes. She’s guilty of rape by fraud. And she’s probably done so multiple times.
I’ll get to your second question when I have time…. sorry. Over-committed at the moment. But I’ll get back to it when I’m able.
Hi Joyce: I need to update and supplement a name I submitted to you previously. One of his latest victims contacted me and she informed me that he is using aliases. He is not stupid, just deluded by his own grandiosity. He gave her my contact info. What is the best way to update your list? Thanks. Kat
Hi Kat-
Sorry to hear that he’s still wreaking havoc! Drop me a line at my email address… StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com.
Joyce
Rape by deception happens CONSTANTLY during sex trafficking investigations (previously referred to as prostitution stings but now virtually ALL prostitution stings are being referred to as sex trafficking investigations) when POLICE pose as clients and have sexual contact including sex to completion- before arresting sex workers. This happens to both minors and adults working in the sex trade. Minors are automatically legally defined as sex trafficking victims but police often don’t know the age of a person until after they have had sexual contact and the person arrested. This happens OFTEN. It’s one of law enforcement’s dirty little secrets and it is enabled by the criminalization of prostitution. The victims feel violated. Consent is negated! The sexworkernation YouTube channel features testimony from experts and victims who have experienced this form of rape by deception.
The London police were severely criticized for engaging in illicit affairs and even marriages with people they were investigating while undercover. https://rapebyfraud.com/2015/01/23/rape-by-fraud-sanctioned-by-uk-police/
Thanks for pointing out this despicable behavior.
Hi Joyce, thank you for doing what you do. I live in Oregon and was horribly raped by fraud by my now ex-husband, is there a particular type of attorney to hire to sue him?
Hi Carla-
I love it when folks ask me about the laws in their states because it motivates me to look it up and post the information. You’ll now see a post from today entitled “Oregon- Will Rape by Fraud be Prosecuted there?”
I hope you’ll be the very first case that benefits from my new book, “Combating Romance Scams,” because you may very well be able to put it to good use. Yes, there is actually a law in Oregon that could be used in cases of non-consent. And the book makes the argument that no one consents to sex when they’re duped into it. It provides the legal argument regarding the definition.
I don’t know enough about your case to know if you’ll be able to pursue it. It would be a crime, not a tort, (civil action.) If you’d like to share the background with me, I’m happy to listen and let you know if I think it’ll fit.
So grab the book (it’s on Amazon) and read it so you can make the argument that lying to get laid is a crime. And let me know the background information. You can post it here, or you can write me at StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com.
Hi Joyce, the very short version is, while we were married he was leading a double life having sex with multiple women and was still having sex with me. When I found out the truth I stoped having sex with him and went to the doctor to get checked for all types of VD.
Carla-
The results of your medical testing could provide yet another avenue to prosecute. If you’d like to discuss this privately, you can reach me at StopRomanceScams@yahoo.com.
Best-
Joyce
Clinical depression is a very real medical condition. It is not caused by stupidity. But it does take a stupid person to think that it is. It also takes a stupid person to think any kind of emotional abuse is ok.
My girlfriend infected me with a sexual disease she acquired while secretly cheating on me with another man.
Since we agreed to be in an exclusive relationship and she broke that agreement, I feel that I was repeatedly raped by her.
I’m currently seeking damages for fraud and assault charges for infecting me with the STD, but my lawyer is trying to talk me out of the rape charges.
Can you give me any advice on this humiliating situation?
John-
I gather from your handle that you’re living in CA. Here’s a post I wrote about a CA case not too long ago. The only deception that CA will prosecute is fraud in the factum, which is misrepresentation of the act itself. Let’s say instead of being your girlfriend, your private parts were touched by a doctor or nurse who said if was medically necessary to do so when it was not. That would be a case of fraud in the factum. It’s considered a form of “sexual battery.”
There are California laws that punish the knowing transmission of STDs. Here’s a link to a list that includes all the states. Here’s what it says about California.: STD Crimes in California
Three criminal laws in California specifically address people who have either the human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, or other sexually transmitted diseases.
Willful exposure
Anyone who has any kind of infectious, communicable, or contagious disease in California commits a crime if that person exposes him or herself to others. This crime is punishable as a misdemeanor offense. You also commit this crime if you knowingly expose someone else whom you know has such a disease to other people. (California Health and Safety Code section 120290.)
I advise you to try to file charges with the police before you go for a civil case. In either case, you’ll need significant proof that you had no STD before you had sex with her.
I understand that you feel raped. You were. Getting justice for it is extremely difficult. Can I add you to the list of advocates to fight for a sexual assault by fraud law in your state? Also, my new book, “Don’t Swallow That Catfish Hook!” is about to launch and contains the language for that law. Would you like to be notified when it’s published? If so, please click onto this post to supply your information.
I wish you all the best!
Joyce
Add me! I’m in PA.
SpeakOut4Others.wordpress.com
I definitely will Brandie. And wish you the best in your healing!
as a man I can’t wait for this law, when me and my date feel like having sex we can take our time to show each other our passports, ID, college records, health records, family records, and then kick her our of my house because she lied about her weight and education. Of course I say this assuming men and women are treated equally in the justice system and women are capable of lying too, but we all know women get easier sentences and less time spent in prison when compared to men, for the same crimes, so I’m not looking forward to a one sided application of this law especially when people don’t even take male rapes seriously. Men can rape and lie, but women can’t rape and lie; so we need to create laws to oppress men decades after the consentual sexual act, am I right?! (please notice my high level of sarcasm) Let’s try your logic on this story: wife initiates consentual sex with husband assuring him that she is on birth control, but later ends up pregnant because she lied. RAPIST BY FRAUD! if you think that women can’t lie and rape by fraud then you are a sexist.
I was with a man for an entire year, living together, sharing finances, adopting a pet, sharing friends & family. Before we got together I was in a serious bind and decided to take a risk on romance because of a life crisis. The deal was that we were both monogamous looking to spend our lives with one person.
Later I found out he was cheating on me; he persistently threatened to leave me anytime he felt like it. He abused me, used drugs (which itself is another form of adultery). One day after his tax return he made up an excuse that we weren’t working out and that I had done something to no longer be lovable. The breakup was absolutely atrocious, and he even informed me doesn’t even believe in monogamy. I find him on dating websites professing this same very philosophy as he is scouring the Internet for new people to use for sexual pleasure.
As you can imagine—the security I put my faith in that I had a real, consensual relationship that was reciprocated with love, pleasure, the same need, and balance was nothing but an entire lie. All the money I was building, the art projects I was writing, the plans I was making, the cat I adopted to be his cat’s buddy, the new friendships & family—EVERYTHING was taken away. That isn’t even mentioning the attachment I had for this man and the sexual comfort that binds people together.
No. I had to let go of everything while him & his friends taunted, insulted, demeaned, slandered, and laughed at me. If I had known he wasn’t monogamous, would I have looked at the situation the same? Would I have been sleeping with a man for an entire year and building a life?
To be consensual, your intentions must align; but the intentions he evoked in me were not consensual. It was fabricated so that he could have a little fun. I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you the misery and length of time this little rapist charade played over me. He should be in prison.
This law has nothing to do with just a little lie. It has to do with a conartist, whether a man or a women targeting their victims for financial gain. They are master manipulators and it could happen to anyone no matter how smart or educated you are. They have one goal in mind and it’s like a job to them, to deceive their victims to gain control of what they are after. This is no common criminal where you could see the crime being done in front of your face. They are good at hiding their unimaginable crimes for over 10, 20, 30 or more years because the way society looks at these crimes as being nothing but petty and thinking no one is getting hurt. Unfortunately these crimes hurt worse than someone putting a gun to your head. Please read and understand instead of judging otherwise these crimes will never be stopped. Thank You and God Bless You
Marie-
Thanks for your valuable contribution.
People often hear me say that it’s not the size of the weapon a person uses, but rather, the impact on the victim that matters.
A person who uses a small handgun can kill a victim just as if they used an assault weapon. When you’re dead you’re dead. When you’re sexually assaulted, your sexually assaulted. When you’re robbed you’re robbed.
Criminal code weighs the level of punishment meted out, and ascribes greater weight to crimes involving violence. But it should never ignore a crime simply because the means used by the offender was a lie instead of a gun to the head or a punch in the face.
Criminal code only recognizes some, not all, forms of non-consensual sex as a crime. Society needs that to change!
Thanks Joyce! My mission is to help victims and also try to explain to people that judge us in terms that they could possibly understand somewhat of the pain we have endured and will forever. I know that unless it happens to them they think it’s a little cheating or something simple like that and just get over it. They will never comprehend the mind of these sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissist, etc. that target their victims without any remorse to mentally cripple us and take everything that was ours and beleive it really is theirs.
Thank you for this information! I found out that the man I had been seeing and engaging in a sexual relationship with for FIVE years was married and had been for almost 30 years. I would never have pursued a relationship of any kind with him had I known…nevertheless an intimate one. Upon finding the truth I felt as though I had been raped. I hadn’t consented to sex with a married man. Now I know that I was correct.
D-
You’re very welcome.
I wish I weren’t correct but know that I am, as do all the victims who suffered this defiling crime.
Are you fortunate enough to live in a state that prosecutes? If not, how ’bout joining 50 Brave Women to enact a law to punish offenders?
Wishing you all the best!
Joyce
“false misrepresentation” — should be “false representation” or simply “misrepresentation,” no?
Mark-
Thanks-
“False representation”… yes.
The expression “false personation” is the term frequently used in legal definition.
Joyce
Can anything be done if the victim suffers from depression and the predator used that against them thereby leaving the victim sick and unable to take care of themselves? The emotional stress has left this person with a heart condition also.
Sounds like your contact has experienced a terrible ordeal!
As you can see from this blog, states vary widely on how they address this issue.
It seems that the person you described may be able to make a case for emotional distress which is a tort, civil matter, not a crime. I’d advise them to seek counsel and ask what merit their case would have in their state.
And by all means, please report back here with that information. I’m sure other followers would be interested in hearing what could be done.
Good luck in your efforts!
Joyce
Joyce
I hope so. My husband cut off my medical insurance. I have multiple sclerosis and my meds are 15,000 per month.
This isn’t rape and any depression they may suffer is from their own stupidiuty
*stupidity
Clinical depression is a very real medical condition. It is not caused by stupidity. But it does take a stupid person to think that it is. It also takes a stupid person to think any kind of emotional abuse is ok.
Rape is exploitation of your reproductive organs. You are foolish to think that this isn’t rape.
Ignorance causes people to believe that violence is the only way to overcome a person’s self determination. And when you vitiate (might be too big a word for you so I’ll explain…. undermine, nullify) a person’s agreement to sex by treacherously convincing them that they provided consent, you are a villain.
If you read this blog you will understand that ASSENT and CONSENT are two different things. Not all types of agreement are alike. Assenting to sex, agreeing on the face of it, is not the same thing as consenting to sex, which is REQUIRED in the penal code of EVERY state and jurisdiction.
Sorry…. you are a dummy! Read! Learn! Develop some emotional empathy for victims.
Joyce,
Miriam Webster defines “assent” as “to agree or to approve of something (such as an idea or a suggestion) especially after thoughtful consideration”
The first synonym is consent.
Just sayin.
I get that people defrauded like this feel violated… even raped.
And the fact that they are lied to… whether by commission or omission may be entirely despicable. It may even be, in some cases, represent criminal fraud.
But to elevate deceit to the same level of criminality as forcible rape grossly undermines the severity of the offense… to even speak of it that way is an insult to those who have had such a heinous act commented upon them.
What you are roiling against is indeed inlaudable, often despicable, and potentially under existing fraud laws, criminal.
And to be sure, violation of a trust bestowed of love is the most painful of violations. But CRIMINAL? It is too slippery a slope. Almost every relationship includes some level of deception or non disclosure… most often by omission… but…
To bring the penal code to bear where someone makes a mistake of trust is grossly over blowing the government’s role of protection, and inviting it’s intrusion into areas of personal affairs where it has no place being.
I strongly disagree with anyone here that any of these victims are stupid… it is an ignorant insult by a likely heartless person who can’t understand. Anyone with a heart knows that it will lead you sometimes to do things, often aga I not better judgement, that in hindsight seem stupid (even to the person).
Take pride… a wise man once told “There are smart people ans stupid people. Both do stupid things sometimes…”
And if you did something stupid of the heart, rejoice in th he fact that you have that… take pride.
But know as well that much love, even true sincere love, can incude some level of deciept. It’s usually not as black and callous as the cases in point, thank God.
If you do not accept that fact that people are human and often, for better or worse, don’t tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, then you will likely miss out on many true loves.
The people in point we’re decievable likely because they were of good heart, which by its very nature leaves them vulnerable.
But they are, by any measure, the better (metephorical) man for it.
God bless and keep you all.
UE
You are simply incorrect.
Miriam Webster does not make the law. Legislators do. Federal Nuremberg Code is pretty specific that there is a difference between “assent” and “consent” under the law. In fact, it insists that children can provide “assent” while their parents or guardians must provide “consent” in medical experimentation.
Also, Model Penal Code, which has been adopted in many states across the country, is very specific that there is no consent when the offender induces by virtue of force, duress or deception.
The ItsOnUs Pledge is also very specific…… Non-Consensual Sex Is a Sexual Assault!
Your concerns about somehow devaluing violent rape are unfounded. The law will not punish violent rape and rape by fraud to the same degree. Degrees are what separate all crimes based on whether violence is or is not present in the commission of the crime. For instance, burglary, which involves violence or the threat of violence doles out a much more severe sentence than “theft” in which no violence takes place. Just because the offender is not violent does not negate that a crime happened.
Before you rest your case on nonsense, I suggest you read “Combating Romance Scams” so you actually understand what you’re talking about.
Rape is a generic term that identifies when the self determination of a victim, regarding their reproductive organs, has been violated. There are many ways this takes place. Violence is but one way. And it is, without doubt, the most heinous.
If self determination over reproductive organs was not the foundation of rape, even violent rape would not be considered rape at all. It would be considered “assault.” We consider it rape because the assault violated reproductive organs without the victims freely given, knowledgeable and informed agreement.
In every case where the person is deprived of freely-given, knowledgeable and informed agreement, the assault, whether violent or not, is a sexual assault, therefore, a more serious crime than other types of assault.
Other countries readily recognize this crime. You can see some of those cases identified here on this blog. Look at “Cads in the News.” And several states recognize this crime in one form or another. Society needs unilateral rules.
By the way, many victims who have been violently raped are in total support of this law.
Bernie Madoff is in jail because all his customers “made the mistake of trust” according to your definition. What you fail to recognize is that no one has the right to take advantage of another person’s trust, period. Not to steal their money, not to get into their pants, and not for immigration status either, the three principles motives for rape by fraud or deception.
The fact that your comments echo some of the horribly sexist laws speaks volumes about your crusade. Rape must involve reproductive organs? Are you like the legislators in Idaho that think men can’t be raped and women can’t rape?
Nope- I’m not. Wholeheartedly, men can be raped, and women can be raped. And both can be rapists.So much for being sexist.
Then you really ought to mind your verbiage. Saying “regarding their reproductive organs” necessarily excludes M-M anal rape… unless I missed something in Biology class.
Splitting hairs Jeffrey- Of course anal rape is rape. Using any orifice on the person’s body for sexual gratification, without their consent is a sexual assault.
Also, M-M anal sex involves reproductive organs. No one has the right to touch you with their reproductive organs without your consent. Doing so is an assault.
So you see the inherent sexist nature of saying rape requires a violation of reproductive organs? I’m not splitting hairs, I’m showing you where you are wrong in the way you word things (just like the horribly sexist legislators in Idaho).
Lying does not make for rape. Lying to undermine a person’s self determination over their reproductive organs, just like undermining their self determination over their reproductive organs through violence, drugs or alcohol, constitutes rape.
Anytime someone is lied to in the pursuit of sex, however, can give them grounds for saying their self-determination was undermined. How do you not see that?
No one should lie to get laid. How do you not see that as anything but an assault on that person’s reproductive organs?
While you may fail to recognize it at the end of our exchange, it is possible other people will see the error of that line of thought. If you claim that all lies in the pursuit of sex (and by extension, all lies by omission) constitute rape, then virtually ALL sex can be classified as rape.
And please, please, please stop saying, “assault on that person’s reproductive organs”, it’s SUPER sexist (as I have already clearly explained… unless you don’t care how sexist you sound as long as it furthers your cause.)
Jeffrey- You’re incorrect.
All exploitation of a person’s reproductive organs is rape. But if you’d like to add more to it, by including additional regions of a person’s body, in some cases, you wouldn’t be wrong.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
Of course it is. I’M not the one limiting the definition that makes it incorrect, YOU are. By stating that rape must include reproductive organs you are necessarily excluding a lot of ways one can be raped, which, considering the intent of this endeavor, is absolutely asinine. For a published author, you don’t seem to have that firm of a grasp on the English language. Maybe I’ll try an analogy. If I were to say, “I hate all black people.” And you countered with, “You are racist.” To which I replied, “No, I’m not, I hate ALL people which includes black people, and I don’t hate them because they are black, but rather because they are people.” You would hopefully (justifiably) tell me that the limit I put on my own statement changed the meaning of it (and very clearly made me sound like a racist piece of shit). So please, for your own good so you can stop looking like an irrational, man-hating sexist, stop self-limiting your definitions.
Patty-
They need to secure help!
Victim blaming is caused from both external and internal sources. The depression results from the defilement the victim feels, And the fact that their mind was manipulated makes it difficult to stop blaming them self and recover their dignity.
Con artists are good at what they do. Their cons are debilitating. They play with the person’s self esteem and undermine their power.
The victim will often need a therapist, but one who understands sociopathic manipulation, in order to recover.
Yes, emotional predators hit hard at their victim’s psyche, and fault them for being debilitated. They are heartless swine! The victim needs to find strength, and assistance, to recover. I hope these blog pages can help!
Normally I don’t learn from articles on blogs, however I
would like to say that this write-up compelled me to take a look at and do it!
Your writing taste has amazed me. Thank you, quite great article.
You’re so cool! I do not think I’ve truly read something like that before. So nice to find someone with a few genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Really.. thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is required on the web, someone with some originality!
You have made some really good points there. I checked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.
No, they won’t, and if you follow my threads with her (provided she continues to respond to me) you’ll see why…
Very good info. Lucky me I came across your blog byy chance (stumbleupon).
I have bookmarked it for later!