To people who understand the meaning of consent, it seems that last night, the police at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, lead by Commanding Officer Peter J. Venice, aided and abetted a sex criminal.
The victim, I’ll call her Jennifer, read her complaint from a prepared statement because she was nervous and upset. The female desk officer, Officer Balslov, read her statement and said: “I’m not following you. I can’t do anything with this,” as she tried to hand the paper back to Jennifer. “You’re just angry because you found out he was married.”
Balslov certainly got that part right…. the victim is plenty angry and has every right to be!
The denial of his marriage by the offender, Bill, made every bit of sex they engaged in a sexual affront – sexual misconduct – against her!
His lie about his marital status, a lie he perpetuated over several months, deprived her of her right to make an informed decision about her body. Instead he undermined her free will by falsifying information that was critical to her, and engaged her in adulteress sex. The thought that he misused her reproductive organs this way is appalling to her.
A serial offender
Bill’s done this before….. multiple times. He leads women into thinking he’s marrying them. In fact he goes down to the courthouse with them to obtain a marriage license. Then he leaves them “standing at the alter.” One woman he did this to committed suicide.
Not only did he express his intentions to spend his life with Jennifer, he conducted unprotected sex with her on the belief that he wanted to start a family with her.
Enter Sergeant Alicia
“But you had a relationship with this man,” argued Sergeant Alicia, Balslav’s superior officer.
“No, I never had a relationship with THAT man. The man I had a relationship with was single, not him!” said Jennifer.
Relationships not only don’t matter, they make the harm even more deplorable!
Sergeant Alicia should know that sex crimes take place whether the victim knows the assailant or not. It’s the reason that the rape exemption for married couples bit the dust in NYC many years ago. And the federal government followed suit in recognizing that a spouse could be raped. Commander Venice should properly inform his officers that violence between strangers is not the only way to commit a sex crime. And when that offense is committed over and over again, the pain of discovery can be overwhelming.
An ignorant legal department weighs in
Sergeant Alicia excused himself to call the “legal department.” When he returned he said, “They said you don’t have a crime; but you can hire a lawyer and file a civil complaint.”
The job of our legal system is to provide relief in the form of justice for people who are wronged. Jennifer is not after money. Money won’t help her restore the dignity he stole from her. That’s what criminal actions are for. That, and the protection it provides for society.
Jennifer wants to make sure that no one else Bill meets ends up committing suicide as a result of getting swept into his deranged concept of entertainment.
“Did he hold you down and make you do it?” asked Alicia.
Sergeant Alicia was confused about what the term “sexual misconduct” means, and what “consent” means. Sexual misconduct, in NY State, is charged when the parties “engage in” sex without consent. It’s a Class A Misdemeanor. “Engaging in” does not mean that violence is present, despite Alicia’s denials and statements to the contrary. And his concept that anyone can “consent” to “engage in” sex when their brain is deliberately blindfolded by the offender is pure balderdash!
Could this be the case that opens society’s eyes to the real meaning of CONSENT?
I sure hope it is. Stay tuned!
You can help by reading Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! and calling your legislators to demand #FGKIA law.
I am Jennifer and this is one of the most horrific ordeals I’ve ever had to endure in life.
To be scolded by police when all I was trying to do was seek help made me feel like I didn’t exist and that I had somehow created the injustice bestowed upon me.
This crime, yes I believe in my heart and soul it is a crime, should not be allowed to go unnoticed.
I was mentally and physically abused by a con man, a sociopath. I did NOT consent to having years of my life snatched away and my body violated by a stranger who had brainwashed me. How is this not a crime?
Jennifer , I also was raped physically and emotionally by a sociopath and the police didn’t jump at the chance to help me. It would have been an easy case to prosecute but they dropped the ball. It’s a terrible feeling to be violated then seek justice and to be let down. I am sorry this happened to you. It is a crime.
Wow, I’m sorry Jenna.
It’s truly the worst. I can’t comprehend how the police do not acknowledge this. It manipulation and degradation of people that is truly appalling and without a doubt an act of torture. I am frightened that I will feel the effects of this abuse forever. I get scared he is around the corner or watching me all the time. Granted, it may be the paranoia he instilled by constantly spying on me (which I did not found out about until this all culminated. That he would go through my phone, my computer, my passwords. He even admitted to hiring a private detective to follow me when we first met!)
So, I live in constant fear and also constant guilt and doubt of myself. I have been robbed of the ability to trust. My psyche has been tormented. My body was used for the pleasure of someone who lied and mentally demonized me. Some of my prime reproductive years gone, because of this person’s abuse. This is not normal. This is an offense against humanity.
100% correct! The wrongdoing Sgt. Alicia suggested suing Bill for is a crime. It was ridiculous for him to suggest a civil action for the same crime he refused to address. The police fail to do their jobs when sex crimes are not violent. They simply have no sense of the violation the victim suffers…. even when the law states they must address it.
The police are not capable of doing their jobs in sexual assault cases. And as i know personally money doesn’t stop these criminals. Jail time does. Shame on the justice system. Keep up the fight Joyce