On November 14th, I stood on the steps of the NJ statehouse talking with the head prosecutors from two NJ counties, Sussex and Burlington. I was astonished by their ignorance of their own laws.
Rich Pompellio, the chief catalyst for the Victims’ Rights Amendment of the NJ Constitution was being honored on the amendment’s 25th anniversary. I’d spoken to Rich several times on
various cases of sexual assault by fraud that had come up in NJ, and wanted to shake his hand and show support for his contribution to society.
In attendance were Robert Bernardi, the Burlington County Chief Prosecutor, and Francis A. Koch, the Head Prosecutor from Sussex County.
I reminded Mr. Berardi of his office’s prosecution against William Allen Jordan, an alleged romance scammer, convicted pedophile and bigamist who’d defrauded a Burlington County resident of over $4,000. ADA Steve Eife had handled the case in 2014. I’d advocated for the victim at the time. I mentioned that I thought Eife should have prosecuted Jordan for Sexual Assault, not for Sexual Assault by Coercion, which could not pass muster with the Grand Jury since no coercion took place. I was proven correct when the Grand Jury failed to indict on the coercion charge Eife filed.
I explained to Bernardi that “sexual assault” would have hinged on consent, not coercion, and that Jordan did not have the victim’s consent. He argued that she’d consented, so I stated that was not the case under NJ law, whose definition of consent was patterned after Model Penal Code.
“We’re not a Model Penal Code state,” chimed in Mr. Koch.
“Right,” Bernardi said, as if two incorrect statements turn abject ignorance into fact. “We’re not a Model Penal Code State.”
Remarkably, it’s the same ridiculous answer I’d gotten from Steve Eife when I’d questioned him at the sentencing of Jordan back in 2014. He’d responded, “We’re not a Model Penal Code State.”
I advised Mr. Bernardi to look up the New Jersey definition of 
consent on page 148 of the state’s penal code. One would think he’d be familiar with the definition, since his job is to uphold the law and protect the citizens of New Jersey from sexual assault. I gave him my contact information to discuss it further once he’d looked up the appropriate statute. Good thing I’m not holding my breath waiting for that phone call!
Why is it that people who are dead wrong ignore you instead of owning up to their errors? It’s pretty obvious that Mr. Bernardi did not learn a single thing about consent in the two years that passed between screwing up the Jordan case and now. How many more victims have to suffer without justice before he gets off his arrogant ignorance and learns what consent really means?
Here’s the language of Model Penal Code:
Consent is ineffective if induced by force, duress or deception.
Here’s the language of New Jersey’s definition of consent:
Consent is ineffective, unless otherwise provided, if it is given by a person who is induced by force, duress, or deception, or by a person who is legally incompetent or otherwise unable to judge the harmfulness of the conduct. N.J.S.A. 2C:2-10c.
To Mr. Bernardi:
You have my number. I’m happy to discuss this issue with you when you want to get real about protecting the citizens of Burlington County from sexual assault!
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I used to have an antiabuse site and posted here often. I may have received serious reprisal bc I was indeed raped by deceit 2 times and sexually assaulted2 more in 4 months and not one police investigation made. I have a feeling thr rape by fraud perp can be an officer bc he nearly choked the wind out of me and said to clean my mess. Later after disappearing id heard he was the person who hacked me and made me lose my job and emotional well being and bonus he was either married or engaged and almost 20 yrs younger than me. Not one officer cared while I seek state assistance for trauma counseling and applied for a gun license based in fear and total humiliation. I’m in NJ and would love to meet u.
Ps my name is susan and I had a site called I am a stronger person now devoted my spare time to save women from being raped tortured and killed by abusers…I’m sure and certain a man did this all to me…I do wonder if u remember me…I wore an orange shawl and had red hair.. Hope it jogs ur memory. Tx sae_llc
Sorry but I don’t recall. Did we ever meet?
Sounds like you’ve suffered a pretty rough time! Seems though you were violently assaulted in addition to rape by fraud. If you fill me in on what happened, I’d try to figure out the avenues open to you in order to seek justice.
Joyce
There’s nothing wrong with a man lying to get sex as long as he isn’t lying about STD status. What you don’t understand is that getting laid is essential to a man’s mental health. Lots of mass shootings took place by men forced into involuntary celibacy because women wouldn’t have sex with them. Lives would have been saved if these guys had got laid.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/lying-for-sex/
Frank-
I see. So now women are simply sexual receptacles to provide for a man’s needs. Ever heard the word “misogyny?” The article you’re quoting is grotesque.
Women live inside their bodies! No one has the right to undermine their self determination over their reproductive organs.
If a man wants to have sex with a woman, he should do so through an honest means. Her body belongs to her, not him.
I wish it was as simple as tell a girl my true intentions and get laid. But it doesn’t work that way. If I did, I’d never get any. It’s easy for women to take the high road on this subject simply because the average woman can get a man to have sex with her by saying “lets go have sex”. That’s because a woman’s sexual value is chiefly tied to her looks. I know by looking at a woman if I want to have sex with her.
There’s really no lie she can tell me to change my mind if I don’t want her. Men on the other hand have to do more than merely exist if they want an active sex life. Even handsome men. There was a study done on a date site where the least attractive woman got as much attention from the opposite sex as the most attractive man got from the opposite sex.
The most attractive woman totally blew the most attractive man out of the water with the amount of attention she got from men compared to how much attention he got from women. At the rate it was going, it would have taken him a little over 2 years to get the amount of messages in his inbox from women as the amount of messages she got in her inbox from men.
The point is, even a not so attractive woman can get sex easier than an attractive man. So it’s easy to say “don’t lie to get sex”, but if even a very physically attractive man has to work to get sex, an average guy has to work that much more. Only the top 5 percent or so of men in terms of looks can get women to sleep with them based on that and only a few men are wealthy enough to get women because of money.
And if it’s a choice between telling some lies or living in forced celibacy, I know what I’m choosing
I’ll tell her whatever tickles her ears. You only live once.
Frank- You have a rape mentality. You think of sex as a form of entertainment, and that you’re entitled to it. Your attitude is truly repulsive. Is your brain totally not wired to bond?
Why shouldn’t I think that I am entitled to it? I think I am entitled to food, water and oxygen. Conversely, I can ask why does a woman believe she’s entitled to love and romance? After all, will you physically die if you don’t get it?
No one is “entitled” to love, romance, or sex. Love romance and sex are a privilege, not an entitlement! No one is entitled to induce love, romance or sex through deception because doing so will harm another person.. Where are your brains?
And, the equivalent of a man lying to get sex is a woman lying to get love. Now, I can see from a woman’s perspective why she’d do it. How women value love is how a man values sex. So if a woman lies about or conceals her sexual history in order to get a man to marry her, that’s the same thing as portraying myself as an NFL player to get a girl to sleep with me. So if she later finds out that I really have some mundane job, that’s the rough equivalent to a man finding out his fiancee or wife used to be an escort. But she neglected to mention it because she thought he may have never married her.
Women are lied to to elicit love all the time. It’s called emotional rape no matter whether the offender is male or female. Emotional rape is not a crime, even though it’s extremely harmful. But physical contact with a victim you’ve duped into sex is a crime. No one has the right to exploit anyone’s reproductive organs.
So in your opinion, a man faced with the decision to lie and get sex or live in celibacy should be celibate?
You absolutely have a rape mentality. YOU are not entitled to induce sex from anyone without consent. Consent is “knowledgeable and informed agreement”, not just agreement.
I just don’t understand your logic. If you lie to her you may get sex once and then you are back to celibacy when she finds out what a liar you are. If you are genuine you may end up in a long-term relationship, so celibacy solved. If you want just sex and she doesn’t, just find someone that wants the same thing. There are plenty of options out there today without having to “scam” someone. You never know how they might react to such a violation.
Well done Nina! It’s ironic that people think they’re entitled to get “it” at any cost to the victim…. Just find someone who wants it your way!! But don’t trick someone into “it.”
So if men shouldn’t feel entitled to sex, then why do women feel entitled to things from men? A few years ago there was a ship that sank and the men on the ship hogged the lifeboats and left the women to fend for themselves. Many women complained about it and said how “real men” would have let the women have the boats.
Imagine that. Collectively, women expect me as a man to die at the bottom of an ocean to save her life. Even if I don’t know her she thinks she’s entitled to me sacrificing my life for hers. And yet, with a straight face tell me I’m not entitled to sex? That’s some nerve on the part of women.
In general, men are physically stronger than women. The concept of why women and children go into the lifeboats arises from concern for caring for the vulnerable. And I’ll bet, judging from your comments, you’d be one of the first to jump onto the lifeboats because you don’t seem to care about how you impact others.
You bet I would. See now that is women’s sense of entitlement. A woman expects me, by virtue of being born a man, to be willing to risk death for an unknown woman. And who benefits from this? Men don’t.
But damn it if I think I’m entitled to sex from the same woman who thinks she’s entitled to have me risk death for her. But, let me guess, that’s different right? A woman’s sex is priceless but men’s lives are a dime a dozen. Let’s not talk about the sense of female entitlement to men’s money that they didn’t earn.
If I am a multi millionaire and marry a girl who’s a cashier at McDonalds and we get divorced, I’d have to pay her an insane amount of alimony because “she got used to a certain lifestyle “.
And, she’d feel entitled to use the state to rob me on her behalf of money she didn’t earn. And most women would agree with her. But don’t ever let a man think he’s entitled to anything from a woman.
It’s easy to see that you live in a dog-eat-dog, quid-pro-quo world. with zero generosity of spirit . And, unfortunately, there are all too many people in the world like you. Good luck with that.
And, the equivalent of a man lying to get sex is a woman lying to get love. Now, I can see from a woman’s perspective why she’d do it. How women value love is how a man values sex. So if a woman lies about or conceals her sexual history in order to get a man to marry her, that’s the same thing as portraying myself as an NFL player to get a girl to sleep with me. So if she later finds out that I really have some mundane job, that’s the rough equivalent to a man finding out his fiancee or wife used to be an escort. But she neglected to mention it because she thought he may have never married her.
Hi Ms. Short, thank you for all you do in the support and help you dedicate your self too. Please let me know of anything coming to CA or you are here for visit.Cindy
Thanks Cindy! Your support means a great deal to me.!
Right now, I’m focusing on getting “Combating Romance Scams” published. Once it’s out, I’ll turn my efforts toward energizing each state to pass laws to put an end to this crime wave! I know I can count on you in CA!
Your articles are so important. Your work is very important.
On Thu, Dec 1, 2016 at 9:06 AM, STOP ROMANCE SCAMS! wrote:
> Joyce M. Short posted: ” On November 14th, I stood on the steps of the NJ > statehouse talking with the head prosecutors from two NJ counties, Sussex > and Burlington. I was astonished by their ignorance of their own laws. Rich > Pompellio, the chief catalyst for the Victims’ Ri” >
Thanks so much for your support!