There are two kinds of people in the world- sexually honest ones and sexual liars.
Liars don’t lie all the time…. just when you have something they want, and they won’t get it unless they mislead you. That’s robbery by fraud if it’s an asset, and sexual assault by fraud if it’s your body. They can turn their deceit off and on at will. Not lying in the moment does not indicate a change in their mindset. They’d lie and manipulate you if it would help them achieve their goal.
They’re people whose selfish interests far outweigh any concern they should extend to you or any respect for your personal choices and boundaries.
Introducing Gad Saad
Last night, Gad Saad, who speaks of himself as “The Gadfather,” and occasionally talks about himself in third person, posted a video to stir up opposition against the concept that lying to induce sex with you is a crime.
Unlike what I’d expect from folks who’d like to discuss the issue, Gad’s video begins with some pretty defaming innuendo, and then goes a bit further in being obtuse and inflammatory. He’s used a term that’s specific to a section heading for my book, but he claims that his insult was not aimed at me. No apology, just justification after justification.
If Gad wanted to conduct a meaningful discussion on the subject, he obviously knew where to find me. Instead, he chose to stealthily lob insults at me in a one-sided monologue. (Can you get any smaller?) And when I saw it, and strenuously objected, he tried to turn my objections into me, not him, being the bad guy. I find his behavior reprehensible. How ’bout you? Why does it not surprise me that this guy doesn’t see conning you into sex as a crime?
That being said, I’ll stick to the issues he raised about the law
I’ve seen some pretty creative scenarios in the media that attempt to poke fun at this very serious harm, but his was one of the most unimaginative I’ve heard… If you say you’re a dog lover when you’re not, you could be arrested for rape.
Here’s the difference between what will and what won’t send you to jail for sexual assault by fraud…..
First off, what you say, for the most part, can’t be proven in a court of law. So the stupid scenarios you see in the media, “He said he owned a Lamboghini,” “He’s Brad Pitt’s best friend,” and now, “You’re a dog lover when you’re not,” don’t amount to a case.
Secondly, the victim would have to behave in a fashion consistent with what is considered the actions of a “reasonable person” to bring charges in a courtroom. Failure to behave as a reasonable person would not pass muster with the police, the prosecutor or the Grand Jury. There could be no indictment.
How this plays out
If you claim you’re a dog lover, but you don’t own and don’t really like dogs, or you have little or no interaction with your target’s pet boxer, Bosco, they would figure you out. Right? But if they simply jumped in the sack with you the day you met, there would be no time to conduct reasonable due diligence about your claims. So no, you won’t go to jail under that circumstance.
Just because you won’t go to jail for it, doesn’t make it ok for you to do it. You should be aware that when you secure sex by lying to someone, you’re not seducing them, you’re assaulting them, sexually, hence the term sexual assault.
Catfish Profiles and Deliberate Hoaxes
Whether they know intellectually that they are stirring up your brain chemistry through romantic overtures, or whether they simply have an inherent sense of the benefits for doing so, emotional predators will set out to undermine your self determination by getting you into bed with them. They could be sex addicts after a tryst, or they could have something else that they’re going for, like your assets or a connection for immigration status. Whatever it is, sex with you serves their ulterior purpose.
A person posting a catfish profile, false background data on the internet, is setting you up to fool you. They are doing so deliberately. They know what they’re doing. It’s not an accident… “Whoops I thought I was 29 but no, I’m really 42.” “Yes, my love, you are the one and only love in my life,” while they’re also married to a man in the Phillipines that’s waiting to join them when they get their immigration papers.
People have the right to make a knowing choice about who they are intimate with. And someone posing as an alternate character, false personation, whether a living person or a figment of their overactive imagination, is undermining that choice.
They’ll argue, “But I’m the same person…..”
No, not to the victim you’re not. And you deliberately mislead them.
But everyone does it…..
No, they don’t. And no, they shouldn’t. Sexual penetration is not an act you should lie about. Sexual penetration by lie undermines the self determination of the person regarding having sex with you. Taking something someone values from them is the line you cross between merely telling a lie, and committing a fraud. It is why I consistently state, “if you lie to attract a person, straighten it out BEFORE you have sex with them.”
I’ve gone very public in my efforts to fight against this crime.
And I’m being derided and diminished by people who hide behind their veils of anonymity to take pokes at my efforts. They laugh, scoff, and try to shame me for understanding that harming people this way is a sexual assault. After receiving about 100 bashing tweets last night from Gad Saad’s followers, I’ve had about enough. I got the same treatment from Tom Leykis’s groupies a few months ago.
So new policy….
While I no longer publicly publish the list of CAD Suspects that are reported to me, I will publish the list of people who publicly demonstrate their opposition to this law in a “bashing” manner. Others around them can determine, from their own words, whether or not they agree with their positions and their behavior. If you know a person’s twitter handle, you could search for them on the list.
New bashers will be added over time so keep checking if you meet someone new. You’ll want to know how they stand on whether conning you into sex is a crime or not.
Truth in Romance Basher List
Anyone on this list is welcome to make your points in a respectful discussion about the issues, (without ad hominem attacks.) Reading Carnal Abuse by Deceit, and publicly apologizing will get you removed from the list. If you can’t afford to purchase a copy, I’ll loan you one for free.
This list is entirely comprised of tweets…… public comments that people have made. What they say and how they behave in public, is public. There is no justification for anyone’s expectation of privacy for their tweets. Warning: some of it is extremely repulsive and shocking. Here’s the list:
@ -Ricky Ahrberg
@ -Kenny Robles
@ -Billy Anthony
:There is growing number of people threaten lawsuits against
@jm_short including myself. Do the right thing & take down “hit list” page ASAP.
@ -Cody Kendall
@jm_short Darling,ive been harassed,threatened & doxed by much better players than u. So dont even bother trying 2 rattle my cage
@ -Drew Absher
@ -Gad Saad
@ -Houston Garrett
@jaysonchancegtr -Jayson Chance
@ -John Broderick
: We should hire a high-powered lawyer to sue
@jm_short into oblivion. It is unconscionable that someone could get away with such behaviour.
@ -Luke Reid
Admin Note- this one shows a pathetic lack of understanding about what constitutes rape, It’s truly sad!
@ -Ramachandran S.
@ -Travis Hedglin
@ -Troy Kadikoff
@VeritasFirmitas -Vincent Veritas
@ -Jack Walker
@ c:/konishi/yatima/ and 11 others favorited a Tweet you were mentioned in :.
@shnrvr82 @jm_short She attacked me publicly without so much as wining and dining me first. I feel exploited & objectified.
I will patiently discuss this issue with anyone who behaves with decency and respect. Bashers and their comments, however, will end up on this list as well as the twitter handles of people who support them through “retweets”, or “likes” and “favorites.”
I don’t have to put up with people who can’t conduct themselves with respect and decency. It’s truly ironic and preposterous that the people who have made or supported these comments try to condemn me for using the very words that came out of their very own pens. I’m simply holding up the mirror. The mirror is not hideous…. their words are hideous!