I received this comment from a reader this morning. I’m posting it for reasons that may not be exactly what you think as you follow it. Here’s what “Tracey” had to say…….
I’ve been a victim now for many years and I have decided to break my silence. My body has been violated, and my sense of trust has been forever lost. It all started on a Friday night after work. I was at a bar during happy hour. I had a really stressful work week and needed some relaxation.
From the corner of my eye walks in this 6 foot tall, blond hair, blue eyed angel. I couldn’t believe my luck. This beautiful person was actually talking to me. We talked and drank for hours, I felt a real connection. So we decided to go back to my place to get to know each other better.
One thing leads to another, and we are all over each other. At the time something didn’t feel right, something was off, but I continued anyway. We made love all night long and held each other as we slept.
In the morning I was awoken by the sun shining in my face and as I look over I noticed something very odd that startled me. The pillowcase was covered in what looked like paint, and on the side of the bed laid a long blond wig! I started pulling back the sheets and I saw what I believe aged me 5 years, and still haunts me to this day.
She was BALD as a baby’s butt and was extremely UGLY. Her makeup came off in her sleep. She had mentioned she is a model. There is NO WAY on God’s green earth she would ever be a model.
I went to the bathroom to throw up. I guess the noise woke her up. She came to see if I needed help, I said I’m fine and that I feel sick to my core and that she should go. She said ok, grabbed her wig, clothes, and contacts; not even her eyes were real. After she left I scrubbed and showered for about an hour. I stayed home for the weekend and skipped work on Monday. What she did to me should be a crime, and I hope my story will serve as a warning to anyone out there that might be in my shoes one day.
We can all relate to the concept that Tracey was shocked by the woman’s appearance. But was that a crime?
Unfortunately, Tracey’s behavior, itself, strikes at the heart of why it’s very difficult to prosecute sexual assault by fraud cases, and why most of the silly scenarios conveyed by the media only serve to stir up hysteria. Every crime requires an element of “reasonable behavior” on the part of the victim, and it is unlikely that a jury of his peers, a grand jury, a prosecutor or the police, would find that Tracey’s jumping into bed with someone he just met would qualify.
One night stands are a slippery slope. They put the victim at risk for being fooled, and leave them without the remedy of legal intervention. The same is true whether the victim is a man or a woman.
Appearance enhancements and sexual assault by fraud
As I’ve clearly stated, you have a remedy that will prevent your being fooled if physical appearance is important to you. If so, you need to wait until you feel close enough to the person to comfortably ask them to remove their enhancements. If you don’t feel enough intimacy to do so, should you really be having sex with them?
Both men and women use varying forms of appearance enhancements. Men can frequently wear toupees and lifts in their shoes. Women wear padded bras, Spanx, makeup, and hair extensions. Shoot, even our illustrious Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, seems to have camouflaged partial baldness. None of the ways we attempt to make ourselves attractive can’t be offset by a simple request for removal.
Is Tracey for real?
I have the distinct impression Tracey is a plant. Tracey is his username but the name on his email address seems fictitious. As I typically do, when I believe a commentor raised an interesting point that I’d like to highlight in a post, I sent him an email. I did not get a response to my inquiry.
Could Tracey have made this up to try to support the point that women “defile” men with appearance enhancements? Yup, I think so; so I’d like to point out that my answer would not differ if the man jumped into bed with a woman, or if a woman had jumped into bed with a man.
So Tracey, in case you’re real…….
Yes, you were fooled. But you don’t have a prosecutorial case even though you are likely to feel defiled, because you let someone you could not reasonably know into your bed with absolutely no effort on your part toward due-diligence. Just think what people must feel when they actually have long term sexual relations with offenders who go to great lengths to deliberately defraud them!