The media has stirred up a lot of frenzy over Assembly Bill #3908 in NJ, Sexual Assault by Fraud. But the silly scenarios they use to describe the crime, won’t really lead to an arrest for a couple of reasons:

1. Personal Responsibility: In New Jersey, personal responsibility means that victims have to take the measures of a “reasonable person” to protect themselves. So if you meet someone and they tell you they drive a Lamborghini, when the only wheels they own are on their bicycle, and you hop in the sack with them without conducting any due diligence or getting to know them well, you haven’t exhibited the level of responsible behavior that would enable you to file charges.
2. Proof: Criminal trials aren’t decided by “truth.” Rather, they’re determined by “proof.” So if you don’t have documented proof or witnesses that can attest to your claim, you will not be able to convince the police, Prosecutor, Grand Jury, trial judge, and a jury of your peers that a crime actually took place.

Here are some examples of recent media hype:

Newark Star Ledger, 11/24/14

A man woos a woman to bed with tales of his riches, fast cars and a vacation home in Monaco. But he actually lives in his mother’s basement.

Here’s the conflict:

• Did she hop into bed with him when they first met without really getting to know him?
• Where’s the proof that he actually made those claims?

Newark Star Ledger, 11/24/14

A seemingly wealthy widow convinces a younger man to sleep with her on the notion that they may marry and he’ll inherit her money. In reality, she’s broke.

Here’s the conflict:

• Did he hop into bed with her without any research or attempt to get to know her?
• Where’s the proof that she actually made those claims?

RawStory, 11/24/14

“What if a man were to say to a woman ‘I love you’ and engage in sex and he really didn’t love her? It could be as simple as that,”

Here’s the conflict:

Lies of intent are particularly difficult to prove. The accused’s defense could simply be, “I changed my mind.” Unless there was significant proof that the offender had no interest in following through at the time the statement was made, no claim could be brought against them.

Hi Arka, March 16, 2015

Can you have someone jailed after sex for:

1) Not being as attractive as you thought they were?

2) Not making as much money as you thought they were?

3) Not being as young/old/intelligent/interesting as you thought they were?

4) Not really being old high school classmates with [insert name of famous actor or actress here]?

5) Not really being a men’s rights advocate?

6) Not really being a feminist?

7) Not really being a good cook?

8) Not really being a skillful lover?

For all of the reasons previously stated the answers are no, no, no, no, no, no, no and no. Plus… attractiveness is a visual perception, not a fraud, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And a person’s skillfulness in sex, or lack thereof, is not a hoax or a fraud. It is what it is.

So who would actually get arrested?

Scam artists like William Allen Jordan who defraud people are likely to be charged. He was convicted in New Jersey of theft by fraud and would probably have been convicted of Sexual Assault by Fraud had the law existed at the time. It is alleged that he proposed marriage, engagement ring and all, under a false name and with totally bogus background information, some of which he forged.

An airline employee has infected several women with an STD by tricking them into unprotected sex. He provides them with forged documents about his health.

A New Jersey man is a bigamist, and likely, with multiple wives. He’s active on internet dating sites, and claiming that he’s single, a Marine Reservist and a Psychologist with the FBI. Not a single word of it is true.

A con artist and swindler works in Florida, Idaho and California using internet dating sites to locate targets. He misrepresents his age, his marital status and his health to prey on women for sex and money. He backs up his identity claims with an elaborate web presence that’s full of hot air.

What warrants prosecution?

Cases in which the authorities find that despite the victim’s best efforts to behave responsibly, they were duped, would be prosecutorial. But only if they were accompanied by sufficient proof. One night stands with someone who lied would not be strong enough to warrant an arrest.

People shouldn’t lie to induce sex. If they were untruthful regarding their identity information or intentions when you met them, the time to straighten it out is BEFORE you engage in intimacy. When they fail to do so, they are sexually assaulting you, not seducing you. But you would not be able to bring charges against them without responsible behavior on your part, and significant proof.