Lying to someone is not a crime. Lying in order to take something you otherwise would not get is.
Yes, people GIVE things to scammers all the time. But their act of giving is invalidated by the deception that caused them to do so. The victim’s consent is considered ineffective under the law. A crime, not just a lie, has taken place.
We don’t consider being scammed “changing your mind,” when you discover that a hoax deprived you of your assets, but when the scam is about sex, people seem to think that upon recognition, the victim simply changed their mind about having given their permission.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Just as in all crimes of fraud, they never gave their knowing consent in the first place.
In 1962, the American Law Institute expressed illegal consent the following way:
“Consent is ineffective if induced by force, duress, or deception.”
Many states across the country, including the state of NJ, where Assembly Bill #3908 is currently pending, have adopted the terminology expressed by Model Penal Code as the law in their own jurisdiction.
Why is society blind to rape by fraud?
Somehow, when fraud is used as a tool to undermine a person’s self determination over their sexual sanctity, an act of rape or sexual assault when committed by any other means, most of society does not recognize that a crime is occurring. Drug someone, force someone through coercion or violence….. we know they were raped. Dupe someone? To many people, it’s just “puffery”.. the business as usual of conducting seduction.
The fact that the offender sexually penetrated the victim by usurping their consent through an illegal means is irrelevant to them. They are people who feel manipulation is their right. When they manipulate you for your money, they’ll go to jail. When they manipulate you to sexually penetrate you, that’s perfectly okay.
It’s not! When they defraud you to sexually penetrate your body, they are sexually assaulting you, not seducing you. And if rape by fraud laws exist in your jurisdiction, whether or not they will go to jail depends on whether or not you can prove that a crime took place.
Here’s the definition of fraud that everyone in law school learns in their very first class on this topic:
- The offender lies
- The offender knows they are lying
- The offender expects the person to rely on their lie
- The person relies on their lie
- The offender takes what the person values based on 1-4
As it does every day, fraud figured prominently in today’s headlines.
In Fargo, ND, two farmers, Aaron and Dereck Johnson, defrauded the government by deliberately destroying their potato crop and cashing-in on a federal insurance plan.
Even our government leaders seem prone to scamming
In NY, deeply entrenched Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, a fixture in the state’s legislature for over 20 years, was recently charged with a fraudulent hoax that put over $4M in his pockets. How can we expect legislators who use their law practice to mask illegal kickbacks to possibly understand the harm in wearing a mask to conduct sex?
Society has lost its moral compass
People are defrauded of sex each and every day. They feel defiled. For many, their lives are shattered because one person felt that their entitlement to get sex, any way they could, was more important than their victim’s self determination over your body. They violated. They don’t give a damn. This needs to stop.
“To many people, it’s just “puffery”.. the business as usual of conducting seduction…”
That’s precisely what the problem is — it’s accepted as ‘normal’ by much of society. But many things that were once accepted as normal are no longer tolerated. One day, this will be one of them.
Amen to that…. And the sooner, the better!
I fully support the idea of rape by fraud. Does it work both ways? I’ve never had to lie before having sex, maybe because I’m good looking I’ve never had to.
I’ve had plenty of woman lie to me before sex and after finding out they were lying it was very hurtful that they lied to me to get what they wanted.
Some of them lied about being single when they were married and some even lied about having children. Some lied about their jobs and income, then to find out they were just a student or even hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.
Will these fraudulent woman become sex offenders and will I be able to seek damages?
Thank you, Keep up the good fight.
First off, I’m very sorry to hear of your misfortune, and hope you’re fully recovered.
The concept that someone “has to lie” is fallacy. No one has to, they chose to. And they do so because they believe that their target is their “reward,” or their “entitlement.” not a living, breathing person with free will and an inviolate body. More to the point, they objectify the victim.
Sexual assault by fraud law is gender neutral. In fact, it has been used as a defense against statutory rape charges, in eight states, for several years.
Unfortunately, implementing laws is not done retroactively. While you can’t go backwards, it will protect you against something similar happening in your future.
Criminal offenses are punishable by jail sentences and/or fines. They’re not civil cases that determine a dollar amount for damages.
Thanks for your support!
Joyce
Reblogged this on Narc Bait Diary – Ex Files.
I see…. You’re referring to them as a**holes because they’re nice people who do no harm? And it’s the fault of their victims, right?
Thanks for showing us how a real a**hole thinks!
Women have a great affinity to assholes. But that is really not the assholes fault.